How to Deal With a One‐Sided Friendship

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Consider whether you are being codependent.

   It may not be that your friend does not share the same feelings of friendship for you that you do for them, but it may be that they feel that they have been hanging out with you all the time and wants to seek other friends or interests.
   
   Remember that just because your friend can't hang out with you every second of the day, doesn't mean you are in a one-sided friendship.
   
   They're still interested in being your friend; they just want to find new friends.
2. 2

   Step 2: Consider whether your friend listens to you.

   Listening is crucial in any relationship.
   
   If you feel like you're always the one that is listening to what's going on in your friend's life and they do not do the same for you, this is definitely a one-sided friendship. , If your friend is friendly, kind and helpful to you every day, you have a mutual friendship! However, if your "friend" is kind to you on some days and is not so great to you on other days, this is a huge red flag that could mean you are in a one-sided friendship. , If your "friend" is mean to you, puts you down, or treats you like an enemy rather than a friend, you are definitely in a one-sided relationship.
   
   For example, if you ask to be in a picture with your friend and their circle of friends and they say "no"
   
   this likely means that your friend does not want you to be in the picture since they do not consider you a friend. , The saying "actions speak louder than words" definitely applies in this case, so take a close look at your friend's behavior towards you.
   
   Do they make plans with you and then cancel or blow them off? Do they reject the offer of spending time with you or talking to you while claiming you're a friend? Do they say they'll text or call you, and then never follow through on it? If your "friend" is continuously saying they're your friend but their actions indicate otherwise, you're likely to be in a one-sided friendship.
   
   If a friend makes plans with you and then ends up canceling once, this doesn't mean you're in a one-sided friendship.
   
   However, if you're seeing a constant trend in which you offer to spend time with your friend and they keep turning you down or giving noncommittal answers, you may be in a one-sided friendship. , If your friend only talks to you individually when they're not hanging out with other friends and ignores everything you say in conversation, it is very likely that your "friend" does not consider you part of their circle of friends.
   
   In addition, if your "friend" constantly leaves you out of group activities with other friends, this is a definite warning sign. , If you talk to another person about the possibly one-sided friendship, you may be able to get some advice as to whether it's one-sided or not.
   
   Try getting opinions from both friends and family
   - if your mother just dislikes this person, it's less credible than if both your parents and your friend group say that they think your so-called friend dislikes you. , If you don't know or won't admit that you are in a one-sided friendship, you can't do anything to fix it.
   
   Think of it this way: the longer you don't admit that you're in a one-sided friendship, the longer you're stuck in it, which means you're just going to be treated badly for longer, and it will hurt more if you have to get out of it! , Find a public and safe spot for just the two of you, such as a cafe or public park.
   
   Be warned, though, that this can make things awkward if there ends up being a scene.
   
   Avoid using texts or social media.
   
   If you absolutely can't meet face-to-face, call your friend and talk to them about it over a phone call.
   
   Text-based conversation is easy to misinterpret, which can cause a lot more fights than needed. , Don't be too harsh, but be direct enough.
   
   For example, you could say "Maddie, it hurts me when I ask to play with you and your friends and you always say no and tell me to go away.
   
   This makes me feel like you don't consider me a friend and you don't want to hang out with me.
   
   Do you think we're friends?" Only ask this question if you're emotionally capable of handling whatever answer you get.
   
   There's a possibility your "friend" could be dismissive, passive-aggressive or outright cruel when you ask this question, so be sure you can handle what happens. , Firmly warn him/her that if he does not change, you are ending the friendship.
   
   Stand by your decision. , If, even after the talk, your "friend" does not change and keeps the "false friend" behavior up, end it.
   
   Cut off the person completely.
   
   Life is meant to be enjoyed, and it is so short that you have no time to waste on toxic people.
   
   They do not deserve the gift of your time and attention.
   
   Stick with your current true friends.
   
   If you don't have any other friends aside from your one-sided "friend"
   
   then now is a good time to go out and make some new friends.
   
   Don't be afraid to try out online friendships, either, but you should be cautious with online-based friendships, as they don't develop the same way as a face-to-face friendship would.
   
   You will also be unsure if your online friend is legit; many people online are not who they say they are. , If you and your "friend" end up splitting, this is likely to be a rough time for you, so there is no need to pretend to be happy.
   
   Don't be afraid to express your emotions to true friends or family.
   
   Don't be afraid to cry, and don't be afraid to feel angry.
   
   You can even punch or throw a soft item that cannot be broken easily, such as a pillow.
   
   Your emotions are valid, and it's okay for someone to make you feel upset.
   
   If you begin having thoughts of self-injury or suicide, reach out to someone who can help you.
   
   Nobody should ever make you feel like you should harm yourself or end your life.
   
   There are crisis lines available if needed.
3. 3

   Step 3: See if there is consistency in how your friend acts to you.

4. 4

   Step 4: Think about how your friend treats you.

5. 5

   Step 5: Look at your friend's words as opposed to their actions.

6. 6

   Step 6: Consider whether your friend only acknowledges you and talks to you when he/she is not talking to their other friends.

7. 7

   Step 7: Heed the warnings of others.

8. 8

   Step 8: Admit that you are in a one-sided friendship.

9. 9

   Step 9: Ask to have a private conversation with your friend.

10. 10

    Step 10: Raise your concerns.

11. 11

    Step 11: Ask the "friend" to change his/her behavior and act more like a friend to you.

12. 12

    Step 12: Keep your word.

13. 13

    Step 13: Take time out for your emotions.

Detailed Guide

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