How to Develop Social Skills as an Autistic Person
Consult a psychologist, licensed social worker, or psychiatrist to help you., Make sure your therapist also knows about other issues that influence the challenges of Asperger's., Use the treatment plan to develop social skills., Locate resources...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Consult a psychologist
They can develop a treatment plan to assist you with daily living.
Try to choose a therapist who specializes in autism to ensure that you get the best care.
To learn more about autism and therapy, consult the work of autistic bloggers. -
Step 2: licensed social worker
For instance, if you have depression, let your therapist know so they can help you.
Frequent comorbid conditions include anxiety, depression, epilepsy, sensory processing disorder, and anger issues.
You may also have PTSD if you were placed in abusive therapy as a child.
If you think you may have one of the above, you can ask for a screening. , Some of the things practiced may include how to converse with people in different social situations. , Your therapist may be able to provide you with printouts, and there are books about social skills as well as online advice.
Find the resources that work for you.
Many television shows, especially cartoons, teach some sort of social lesson in each episode. (For example, if a couple fights in an episode, they might learn the importance of clear communication.) Watch television and try to figure out what you learned at the end of each episode.
Some autistic people share social skills advice online.
Websites like Realsocialskills.com can teach you about interaction and self-advocacy. , Practice what you learned and try to follow your specialist's recommendations. ,, Try to follow the 30/70 rule: talk for 30% of the conversation, and listen for 70%.
Try not to take up more than half the conversation, or monologue for over five minutes (unless your conversation partner is engaged and actively asking questions about the subject).
Let the other person set the pace of the conversation. , This will help them feel appreciated and content.
When they tell you their name, repeat it to yourself in your head.
Use their name later on to show that you remember.
Recall things that they like: hobbies, types of food, places to hang out, etc.
These make good activity, conversation starter, and gift ideas.
For example, if you know a woman who loves robots, tell her that you just heard about a robot in the news, and discuss it with her.
The person will feel pleased that you remembered.
Find things you have in common and discuss those.
For example, perhaps you have both been to Germany, or both like arts and crafts.
Immediately write down their birthday, anniversary, and other important dates.
Add them to your calendar so that you'll see when they're coming up.
Listen attentively when they talk to you.
Make eye contact (or look in their general direction), nod, and ask questions to learn more about their thoughts.
People love this. , Sad people will press their eyebrows together, tighten their facial features to hide their distress, and avoid eye contact.
They may sniffle or discreetly wipe their eyes.
Ask a person if they're upset, and what you can do to help them.
If they are crying, bring them tissues.
If you made them upset, apologize immediately.
It is okay to tell them that you are autistic, to explain why you made a particular mistake, and clarify that you didn't mean to upset them.
Then make it up to them—give them a hug, buy them dinner, take them out somewhere fun, or draw them a sweet picture. , This way, you can share your passions with other people who appreciate them. , It's very possible that you can learn to appreciate something new, and this will give you a new opportunity to meet people and expand your horizons. , The best way to achieve eye contact is to look at their left eye briefly and then shift to their right eye.
If making eye contact is difficult for you, don't worry.
It's okay to look at their nose, mouth, hair, shoulders, hands, or general direction instead.
Some autistic people prefer to look at the person's shoulders or hands, and glance up at their face occasionally.
Most people don't mind this.
Sitting side by side with someone makes eye contact less important. , Look on sites like Meetup, Craigslist, and autistic-run organizations for your area to see if there are any groups in your area.
This will give you a safe place to make friends and learn social skills. , You can meet other autistic people in a low-pressure environment, and work towards the inclusion and acceptance of autistic people.
Volunteering your time can be an incredibly positive experience. , Everyone makes social mistakes sometimes.
Forgive yourself when you slip up, and remember that no one analyzes your actions as much as you do.
It will be okay. -
Step 3: or psychiatrist to help you.
-
Step 4: Make sure your therapist also knows about other issues that influence the challenges of Asperger's.
-
Step 5: Use the treatment plan to develop social skills.
-
Step 6: Locate resources that will help you learn social skills.
-
Step 7: Learn when it is appropriate to touch people.
-
Step 8: Learn which specific aspects of Asperger's give you the most trouble
-
Step 9: and try to work around them.
-
Step 10: Talk with people
-
Step 11: instead of talking at them.
-
Step 12: Display interest in other people.
-
Step 13: Memorize how people behave when they are distressed.
-
Step 14: Join some clubs or classes that feature activities related to your special interest.
-
Step 15: Don't be afraid to branch out and try new activities.
-
Step 16: Maintain eye contact if you can
-
Step 17: without staring.
-
Step 18: Remember
-
Step 19: some agencies have special support and meet-ups for autistic adults.
-
Step 20: Consider joining an organization run by autistic people
-
Step 21: such as ASAN or the Autism Women's Network.
-
Step 22: Don't be hard on yourself.
Detailed Guide
They can develop a treatment plan to assist you with daily living.
Try to choose a therapist who specializes in autism to ensure that you get the best care.
To learn more about autism and therapy, consult the work of autistic bloggers.
For instance, if you have depression, let your therapist know so they can help you.
Frequent comorbid conditions include anxiety, depression, epilepsy, sensory processing disorder, and anger issues.
You may also have PTSD if you were placed in abusive therapy as a child.
If you think you may have one of the above, you can ask for a screening. , Some of the things practiced may include how to converse with people in different social situations. , Your therapist may be able to provide you with printouts, and there are books about social skills as well as online advice.
Find the resources that work for you.
Many television shows, especially cartoons, teach some sort of social lesson in each episode. (For example, if a couple fights in an episode, they might learn the importance of clear communication.) Watch television and try to figure out what you learned at the end of each episode.
Some autistic people share social skills advice online.
Websites like Realsocialskills.com can teach you about interaction and self-advocacy. , Practice what you learned and try to follow your specialist's recommendations. ,, Try to follow the 30/70 rule: talk for 30% of the conversation, and listen for 70%.
Try not to take up more than half the conversation, or monologue for over five minutes (unless your conversation partner is engaged and actively asking questions about the subject).
Let the other person set the pace of the conversation. , This will help them feel appreciated and content.
When they tell you their name, repeat it to yourself in your head.
Use their name later on to show that you remember.
Recall things that they like: hobbies, types of food, places to hang out, etc.
These make good activity, conversation starter, and gift ideas.
For example, if you know a woman who loves robots, tell her that you just heard about a robot in the news, and discuss it with her.
The person will feel pleased that you remembered.
Find things you have in common and discuss those.
For example, perhaps you have both been to Germany, or both like arts and crafts.
Immediately write down their birthday, anniversary, and other important dates.
Add them to your calendar so that you'll see when they're coming up.
Listen attentively when they talk to you.
Make eye contact (or look in their general direction), nod, and ask questions to learn more about their thoughts.
People love this. , Sad people will press their eyebrows together, tighten their facial features to hide their distress, and avoid eye contact.
They may sniffle or discreetly wipe their eyes.
Ask a person if they're upset, and what you can do to help them.
If they are crying, bring them tissues.
If you made them upset, apologize immediately.
It is okay to tell them that you are autistic, to explain why you made a particular mistake, and clarify that you didn't mean to upset them.
Then make it up to them—give them a hug, buy them dinner, take them out somewhere fun, or draw them a sweet picture. , This way, you can share your passions with other people who appreciate them. , It's very possible that you can learn to appreciate something new, and this will give you a new opportunity to meet people and expand your horizons. , The best way to achieve eye contact is to look at their left eye briefly and then shift to their right eye.
If making eye contact is difficult for you, don't worry.
It's okay to look at their nose, mouth, hair, shoulders, hands, or general direction instead.
Some autistic people prefer to look at the person's shoulders or hands, and glance up at their face occasionally.
Most people don't mind this.
Sitting side by side with someone makes eye contact less important. , Look on sites like Meetup, Craigslist, and autistic-run organizations for your area to see if there are any groups in your area.
This will give you a safe place to make friends and learn social skills. , You can meet other autistic people in a low-pressure environment, and work towards the inclusion and acceptance of autistic people.
Volunteering your time can be an incredibly positive experience. , Everyone makes social mistakes sometimes.
Forgive yourself when you slip up, and remember that no one analyzes your actions as much as you do.
It will be okay.
About the Author
Donald Price
Brings years of experience writing about pet care and related subjects.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: