How to Get Rid of a Bad Friend

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Take time to think through the situation.

   Before you confront your friend, take some time to clarify your feelings and reflect on why you believe this person is a "bad" friend.
   
   The word "bad" is a broad term, which can encompass lots of different ideas.
   
   Also consider whether you truly want to get rid of them or if the relationship might be able to be salvaged.
   
   Try asking yourself some questions to help make it easier to confront your friend.
   
   Some questions to ask yourself include:
   Do they go against your values? Do they put you down constantly? Are they untrustworthy?
2. 2

   Step 2: Ask to speak to them privately.

   Set a time to meet with them.
   
   Find a place away from other people where the two of you could talk.
   
   You could say, “Could I talk to you today after school? I’ll meet you by the door.” Speak where nobody else can hear you.
   
   If someone comes by, ask them to give you some privacy. , You may feel courageous enough to address all of your concerns, or you may only feel brave enough to be vague.
   
   Be as honest as your comfort level allows, but sharing your feelings is beneficial.
   
   Break the news kindly to your friend.
   
   Even if you are confronting them about their behavior, you can still be respectful toward them.Use “I” statements like “I felt very hurt when you made fun of me,” or “I feel like I’m being used when I hang around you.” These statements express your feelings and avoid blame.
   
   Saying things like “You use me for my car” or “All you do is pick on me” can make the listener defensive. , If you are ending a relationship with your friend due to problems you have with their behavior
   -- for example, substance abuse, risky behavior, or poor school performance
   -- you may be doing a favor to them by pointing it out.
   
   Let them know you care about them, but no longer want to be around them when they are doing what they’re doing.You could say, “Shannon, I care about you.
   
   But it seems to me like you are drinking a lot these days.
   
   And I can’t be around that anymore.
   
   I hope you can get yourself some help.” If you feel that discussing their behavior could get you into more trouble with them, however, you may not wish to discuss it with them. , It is important to avoid blaming or criticizing your friend.
   
   Focus on your own views, feelings, and values.
   
   Blaming yourself for the end of the friendship could be a way to avoid arguing.
   
   You could say that the friendship doesn’t bring out the best in you, or that you don’t like how it makes you feel.You could say, “After we would hang out, I always felt really stressed.
   
   I don’t want a friendship to feel like that.” Acknowledge your role in the breakdown of the friendship.
   
   You could say, “I was never comfortable with some of the stuff we did, but I never said anything.
   
   I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you about it at the time.”, Inform your friend of what you want going forward.
   
   You may decide you want to end all communication, or you may want to take a break from the person.
   
   Make sure you are clear and that your friend understands.
   
   You could say, “I’m sure it’s not easy to hear, and it’s not easy for me to say, but I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.
   
   So I’m not going to answer your texts or spend time with you.
   
   I’m sorry that it has to be this way, but I can’t keep this up anymore.” , It’s okay to be sad about the loss of your friendship, even if was not a good one.
   
   You likely had some good times together and valued your connection.Understand that you might have some confusing emotions around the end of your friendship.
   
   You might be sad, relieved, angry, and peaceful… all at once.
   
   It might help you to clarify your feelings by writing in a journal or talking to another trustworthy friend or adult.
   
   Take some time to yourself and do things you enjoy.
   
   Listen to your favorite music, exercise or go for a long walk, go out for coffee with a friend, or spend time in prayer.
   
   Reconnect with yourself. , Even though you are no longer friends with this person, you can still be polite to them.
   
   It costs you nothing to be respectful to someone else, even if you don’t especially like them.
   
   Work with them on class projects if necessary.
   
   Focus on the task at hand.
   
   If your friend tries to stir up drama, you could say “Let’s just focus on getting this project done.”
3. 3

   Step 3: Be as honest as possible about your motives for ending the friendship.

4. 4

   Step 4: Address concerns you may have about your friend.

5. 5

   Step 5: Put the blame on yourself.

6. 6

   Step 6: Tell them what you need.

7. 7

   Step 7: Allow yourself to grieve.

8. 8

   Step 8: Remain polite to the friend when you see them.

Detailed Guide

About the Author