How to Get Rid of an Unwanted Friend

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Make a plan to meet up.

   If you have decided to have a mature conversation with your “friend” and explain to them that you need a break, the first step is to make a plan to meet.
   
   You will want to select both a place and time, just like you would for a romantic break-up.
   
   It is best to do this in person, not on the phone, and definitely not via text., Conversations like this can be tough, so it is a good idea to practice what you are going to say ahead of time.
   
   Make a list of the reasons why you want to create some distance.
   
   Remember to focus on yourself and what you need.
   
   This is more effective than pointing fingers and dishing out blame.
   
   You might say, “I just don’t think we are into the same things anymore.
   
   I don't feel like we are compatible friends.” You might say, “I don’t like who I am when I’m around you.
   
   I feel like we bring out the worst in each other.” You might say, “I just can’t forgive you for what happened, and I think it’s best if we don’t speak anymore.” , When your meeting time comes, sit down with your “friend” and tell it to them straight.
   
   Make sure you take the time to listen to them just as they have listened to you.
   
   Then walk away, and be proud of yourself for handling the confrontation in a mature way.
   
   If it helps, you can bring an outline of important things to say on an index card.
   
   This may seem silly or impersonal, but it can very difficult to remember everything during a tense conversation. , In some cases, you may never want to see or speak to this person again.
   
   In other situations, you may be comfortable remaining casual acquaintances.
   
   Whatever you decide, it is important for you to establish clear boundaries with this person, and explain exactly what type of relationship you’d like to have from here on out.Be as clear as you can.
   
   You might say, “To be completely honest, I do not see us ever becoming friends again, and I’d rather not have any contact with you.” You might say, “I think we just need some time to heal.
   
   Maybe we can try talking again in a month or two.” You might say, “If we run into each other at a party, of course we can talk and hang out, but I just don’t see us spending time together one-on-one.” , It can be difficult to predict how this person will respond.
   
   They may play it totally cool and just say “OK,” but they may also yell, cry, or get upset.
   
   They may even try to argue with you.
   
   Try envisioning a variety of reactions, and think about what you could do or say.
   
   Once you have said what you needed to say, and taken a moment to respectfully listen to them, you are free to walk away.
   
   If you’ve already made up your mind, there is no need to argue. , When you have this conversation with your former friend, they will probably ask you a lot of questions.
   
   Think about what questions they might have in advance, and think of honest but kind ways to relay your thoughts.
   
   Here are some questions that your friend might ask you:
   Why don't you like me? Why don't you want to hang out with me anymore? Is there something I did that made you upset? What about our mutual friends?
2. 2

   Step 2: Practice what you’re going to say.

3. 3

   Step 3: Break up with your friend.

4. 4

   Step 4: Set boundaries.

5. 5

   Step 5: Prepare for an emotional response.

6. 6

   Step 6: Prepare for questions.

Detailed Guide

About the Author