How to Help a Friend Who Has Been Raped
Encourage them to seek medical attention immediately.Even if your friend does not know if they would like to go to the police or not, it is important that they are seen by a doctor or medical professional to make sure they are okay.Doctors can help...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Encourage them to seek medical attention immediately.Even if your friend does not know if they would like to go to the police or not
Your friend should not shower or change clothes prior to going to the doctors even though they may have a strong desire to.Offer to go with your friend for support if they want.
Your friend may not be thinking clearly, however, they should be under the care of a doctor just in case they were exposed to any sexually transmitted diseases.
If it is possible that your friend could have gotten pregnant during the attack, a doctor can help with a medication to decrease the likelihood of pregnancy and eventually, a pregnancy test.
In some situations and in some states, laws may require a doctor to report suspected rape cases to the authorities; which could help keep your friend safe.
Doctors will be able to assist with the collection of evidence including any evidence needed by the police if your friend should choose to pursue it themselves. -
Step 2: it is important that they are seen by a doctor or medical professional to make sure they are okay.Doctors can help address any injuries your friend may have as well as help them with testing or material collection.
Your friend may be feeling very alone and very lost.
Their world may feel like it has been turned upside down.
You can help by giving them some direction and giving them resources they can use if they choose to.
Try to offer the resources gently and subtly and have them written down or printed out.
That way, if they seem uncomfortable, you can drop the topic and they can refer back to it when they are ready.
The following resources may be helpful regardless of when the rape occurred.
Provide your friend with the number of your local rape crisis center.You can even call there yourself for more advice and information on how you can help your friend.
Find local support groups for survivors of crimes or survivors of rape or sexual assault.
It may be very helpful eventually for your friend to be able to talk to others that understand what they are coping1 with.Find local counselors or psychologists that specialize in work with survivors of sexual assault.
Offer to be a resource and help them with anything they might need while they heal.
This will be especially helpful right after the occurrence, your friend may need someone to check in on a pet, or pick up a few things at the grocery store. , If your friend is over the age of 16, encourage them to report the attack to the police.
Try not to pressure them, and respect their decision whichever path they choose to take.If you friend is under the age of 16, you can still encourage them to report it to their parents or directly to the police.
If they are afraid to do so, or can't, you will need to tell an adult as soon as possible.Make sure they understand that reporting does not mean they have to prosecute, but it does give them the opportunity to in the future if they change their mind.Offer to go with your friend as they report it to the authorities.
If they don't want to, let them know that you have to for their safety.
Your friend may be afraid of retaliation or of threats they received, so you may have to tell someone for them.
Understand that under-reporting is a common problem with only 344 out of 1,000 rapes reported to the police., Feeling safe after a rape occurs can feel impossible and may take a long time.
Unfortunately, 3 out of 4 rapes are committed by someone the survivor knows or knew.
Offer to stay with them or to contact someone they want with them so that they can feel safe.If your friend is living with, or in regular contact with the perpetrator you may need to help them find a safe place to be or to live for awhile.
If they are okay and safe in their living situation, make sure they feel safe.
They may still benefit from a verbal reminder that they are safe as well, or from having someone to go with them places if it makes them feel more comfortable. -
Step 3: Provide your friend with resources.
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Step 4: Report or help your friend report the perpetrator to the authorities.
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Step 5: Make sure they are safe.
Detailed Guide
Your friend should not shower or change clothes prior to going to the doctors even though they may have a strong desire to.Offer to go with your friend for support if they want.
Your friend may not be thinking clearly, however, they should be under the care of a doctor just in case they were exposed to any sexually transmitted diseases.
If it is possible that your friend could have gotten pregnant during the attack, a doctor can help with a medication to decrease the likelihood of pregnancy and eventually, a pregnancy test.
In some situations and in some states, laws may require a doctor to report suspected rape cases to the authorities; which could help keep your friend safe.
Doctors will be able to assist with the collection of evidence including any evidence needed by the police if your friend should choose to pursue it themselves.
Your friend may be feeling very alone and very lost.
Their world may feel like it has been turned upside down.
You can help by giving them some direction and giving them resources they can use if they choose to.
Try to offer the resources gently and subtly and have them written down or printed out.
That way, if they seem uncomfortable, you can drop the topic and they can refer back to it when they are ready.
The following resources may be helpful regardless of when the rape occurred.
Provide your friend with the number of your local rape crisis center.You can even call there yourself for more advice and information on how you can help your friend.
Find local support groups for survivors of crimes or survivors of rape or sexual assault.
It may be very helpful eventually for your friend to be able to talk to others that understand what they are coping1 with.Find local counselors or psychologists that specialize in work with survivors of sexual assault.
Offer to be a resource and help them with anything they might need while they heal.
This will be especially helpful right after the occurrence, your friend may need someone to check in on a pet, or pick up a few things at the grocery store. , If your friend is over the age of 16, encourage them to report the attack to the police.
Try not to pressure them, and respect their decision whichever path they choose to take.If you friend is under the age of 16, you can still encourage them to report it to their parents or directly to the police.
If they are afraid to do so, or can't, you will need to tell an adult as soon as possible.Make sure they understand that reporting does not mean they have to prosecute, but it does give them the opportunity to in the future if they change their mind.Offer to go with your friend as they report it to the authorities.
If they don't want to, let them know that you have to for their safety.
Your friend may be afraid of retaliation or of threats they received, so you may have to tell someone for them.
Understand that under-reporting is a common problem with only 344 out of 1,000 rapes reported to the police., Feeling safe after a rape occurs can feel impossible and may take a long time.
Unfortunately, 3 out of 4 rapes are committed by someone the survivor knows or knew.
Offer to stay with them or to contact someone they want with them so that they can feel safe.If your friend is living with, or in regular contact with the perpetrator you may need to help them find a safe place to be or to live for awhile.
If they are okay and safe in their living situation, make sure they feel safe.
They may still benefit from a verbal reminder that they are safe as well, or from having someone to go with them places if it makes them feel more comfortable.
About the Author
Cynthia Stokes
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
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