How to Help a Suicidal/Self Harming Friend
Give practical support., Understand why the person has self-harmed., Don't judge., Ask them questions., Offer them help.The most important part is to offer your friend help., Listen to them., Show them your support., Tell an adult or other person of...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Give practical support.
Your friend is doing something to themselves that has the potential to seriously injure them.
Keep an eye on their physical well being.
Watch for anaemia (some symptoms include tiredness, weakness, pale skin tone, possible shortness of breath) caused by blood loss.
If they self-harm in public restrooms, be prepared to take action if they have been in the rest room for an extended period of time (be ready to enter the restroom, it might be a good idea to discreetly carry a small bandage and sterile dressing about your person, when with your friend).
Help your friend deflect unwanted attention about any cuts, bruises or blood stains from curious, well-meaning teachers, associates or other people. -
Step 2: Understand why the person has self-harmed.
It is difficult to understand why a friend has self-harmed, since the reasons differ in every person (but are typical around low self esteem).
A continual self-harmer, may also self-harm for different reasons.
The first step is to have an honest conversation with them.
It is crucial to make them feel comfortable, so don't push them into a conversation; let them understand that you're there for them.
If they feel ready, the conversation will start itself. , It's very easy to be very quick to judge people whenever we get the opportunity.
Don't make that mistake.
Your friend needs support and a shoulder to cry on, not judgement.
You may feel tempted to give your opinion, but hold yourself back from criticizing your friend's actions.
Look at ways to address the causes, not the symptoms. , Once the conversation is opened, you will have to find out what made that person harm himself/herself that way.
Ask questions, but don't overdo it.
Your friend may think that you're trying to judge him/her. , You may like to offer to go with them to a therapist or to help them talk to a doctor, parent or counsellor.
Whatever you decide, let your friend know you're not forcing them to do anything, you're just offering help.
If your friend refuses, understand that they might feel embarrassed to open up with someone unknown to them.
The fact that you're listening to them is a help itself.
They may very well be relieved just to share the fact they are self-harming with someone who cares about them. , Without interruption.
While your friend is talking to you, don't interrupt him/her.
They may need to express themselves and not ask for a solution.
It is a good idea to listen to them carefully and be particularly caring and understanding towards them.
Also, do not ask to see their scars.
Self-harming is a very personal topic, and your friend may feel embarrassed. , Tell them that you are there for them if they need help another time.
Your friend will almost certainly thank you for that.
If your friend decides to get help, support them in every way possible.
It's nice to know that someone cares, but don't overdo it and don't speak about his/her problem with others.
It will only make matters worse and you will lose your friend's trust. , If the problem gets worse, share the responsibility and tell someone in authority.
Self-harm can occur in adults, in the work place.
You don't have to be responsible for your friend at work if you can trust your boss to deal sympathetically with the situation, tell them what is going on.
Your friend may get furious at you and may not talk to you anymore, because they feel you betrayed them.
However, they will hopefully eventually understand your good intentions in the future. -
Step 3: Don't judge.
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Step 4: Ask them questions.
-
Step 5: Offer them help.The most important part is to offer your friend help.
-
Step 6: Listen to them.
-
Step 7: Show them your support.
-
Step 8: Tell an adult or other person of responsibility.
Detailed Guide
Your friend is doing something to themselves that has the potential to seriously injure them.
Keep an eye on their physical well being.
Watch for anaemia (some symptoms include tiredness, weakness, pale skin tone, possible shortness of breath) caused by blood loss.
If they self-harm in public restrooms, be prepared to take action if they have been in the rest room for an extended period of time (be ready to enter the restroom, it might be a good idea to discreetly carry a small bandage and sterile dressing about your person, when with your friend).
Help your friend deflect unwanted attention about any cuts, bruises or blood stains from curious, well-meaning teachers, associates or other people.
It is difficult to understand why a friend has self-harmed, since the reasons differ in every person (but are typical around low self esteem).
A continual self-harmer, may also self-harm for different reasons.
The first step is to have an honest conversation with them.
It is crucial to make them feel comfortable, so don't push them into a conversation; let them understand that you're there for them.
If they feel ready, the conversation will start itself. , It's very easy to be very quick to judge people whenever we get the opportunity.
Don't make that mistake.
Your friend needs support and a shoulder to cry on, not judgement.
You may feel tempted to give your opinion, but hold yourself back from criticizing your friend's actions.
Look at ways to address the causes, not the symptoms. , Once the conversation is opened, you will have to find out what made that person harm himself/herself that way.
Ask questions, but don't overdo it.
Your friend may think that you're trying to judge him/her. , You may like to offer to go with them to a therapist or to help them talk to a doctor, parent or counsellor.
Whatever you decide, let your friend know you're not forcing them to do anything, you're just offering help.
If your friend refuses, understand that they might feel embarrassed to open up with someone unknown to them.
The fact that you're listening to them is a help itself.
They may very well be relieved just to share the fact they are self-harming with someone who cares about them. , Without interruption.
While your friend is talking to you, don't interrupt him/her.
They may need to express themselves and not ask for a solution.
It is a good idea to listen to them carefully and be particularly caring and understanding towards them.
Also, do not ask to see their scars.
Self-harming is a very personal topic, and your friend may feel embarrassed. , Tell them that you are there for them if they need help another time.
Your friend will almost certainly thank you for that.
If your friend decides to get help, support them in every way possible.
It's nice to know that someone cares, but don't overdo it and don't speak about his/her problem with others.
It will only make matters worse and you will lose your friend's trust. , If the problem gets worse, share the responsibility and tell someone in authority.
Self-harm can occur in adults, in the work place.
You don't have to be responsible for your friend at work if you can trust your boss to deal sympathetically with the situation, tell them what is going on.
Your friend may get furious at you and may not talk to you anymore, because they feel you betrayed them.
However, they will hopefully eventually understand your good intentions in the future.
About the Author
Rebecca Adams
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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