How to Help an Insecure Friend

Discuss the subject., Listen to your friend., Ask how you can help.

3 Steps 2 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Discuss the subject.

    Your friend may or may not be aware that he or she is insecure.

    Let your friend know that you have noticed.

    This can encourage your friend to open up to you and share their feelings.You may say, “Hey, I noticed you were really hard on yourself when you got your report card back.

    Are you alright?” or “You seemed upset when we were shopping for clothes the other day.

    Is everything okay?” If your friend is not aware of their insecurity, this may bring it to their attention.
  2. Step 2: Listen to your friend.

    When your friend is talking, you may feel the urge to give advice, offer a solution, or judge.

    Because your friend is insecure, it may be difficult for them to share their feelings.You want your friend to feel comfortable speaking to you and know that you are not going to criticize.

    Make eye contact and give your friend your full attention.Don’t look through your phone or do anything else that will distract you.

    Use neutral statements and nodding to show you are listening.

    Try saying things like, “uh-huh,” “yes,” and “I see” to demonstrate that you are paying attention.

    You can also nod your head as you listen.

    Try asking questions to show that you are listening and clarify what your friend means.

    For example, you might say something like, “So you’re saying that you don’t like to eat around other people because it makes you feel like they are judging you?” Being a good listener also tells your friend that you value their opinions and feelings and that they are important to you.

    You don’t need to solve your friend’s problems.

    You’re offering a lot of help just by listening. , Instead of telling your friend your opinion, ask if there is anything you can do to help.

    Are you willing to look up information on the internet for your friend? Can you help your friend pick out some new clothes or explore a new hobby?For example, if your friend says that he or she is severely depressed, then you might offer to help your friend find a counselor.

    You may say, “I noticed that you ___.

    I want to help you.

    Is there anything that I can do?”
  3. Step 3: Ask how you can help.

Detailed Guide

Your friend may or may not be aware that he or she is insecure.

Let your friend know that you have noticed.

This can encourage your friend to open up to you and share their feelings.You may say, “Hey, I noticed you were really hard on yourself when you got your report card back.

Are you alright?” or “You seemed upset when we were shopping for clothes the other day.

Is everything okay?” If your friend is not aware of their insecurity, this may bring it to their attention.

When your friend is talking, you may feel the urge to give advice, offer a solution, or judge.

Because your friend is insecure, it may be difficult for them to share their feelings.You want your friend to feel comfortable speaking to you and know that you are not going to criticize.

Make eye contact and give your friend your full attention.Don’t look through your phone or do anything else that will distract you.

Use neutral statements and nodding to show you are listening.

Try saying things like, “uh-huh,” “yes,” and “I see” to demonstrate that you are paying attention.

You can also nod your head as you listen.

Try asking questions to show that you are listening and clarify what your friend means.

For example, you might say something like, “So you’re saying that you don’t like to eat around other people because it makes you feel like they are judging you?” Being a good listener also tells your friend that you value their opinions and feelings and that they are important to you.

You don’t need to solve your friend’s problems.

You’re offering a lot of help just by listening. , Instead of telling your friend your opinion, ask if there is anything you can do to help.

Are you willing to look up information on the internet for your friend? Can you help your friend pick out some new clothes or explore a new hobby?For example, if your friend says that he or she is severely depressed, then you might offer to help your friend find a counselor.

You may say, “I noticed that you ___.

I want to help you.

Is there anything that I can do?”

About the Author

C

Cynthia Sanchez

Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.

40 articles
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