How to Look and Feel Confident when You're Not
Make a list of any special talents you have, or things you do that you are good at or good qualities you have—morally or otherwise., Find your passion., Choose a role model, someone close to you, or someone famous., Focus on others., Accept...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make a list of any special talents you have
Focusing on your attributes helps distract you from those parts of yourself that you think are flawed.
It doesn't have to be a specific skill or activity either; it can be an approach or an attitude that you champion through life.
Do you always stay calm, cool and collected, even in stressful situations? Are you very patient with people? Do you always see the humorous side of things? Are you always there for your friends? -
Step 2: or things you do that you are good at or good qualities you have—morally or otherwise.
Whether it's baton twirling, martial arts, classic cars, or basket weaving, you will feel confident pursuing that endeavor by recognizing what you enjoy doing the most.
More importantly, you'll be enjoying your progress. , Think of the qualities that the role model displays, whether physical, emotional, moral, and/or spiritual.
Work towards acquiring those. , Try not to focus negatively on what others think of you.
Instead, focus more on what they think of themselves, and try to help them become happier and more confident. , Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off.
Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well). , When you feel strongly about something, speak loudly and clearly and make eye contact with people.
Let go of your fear of coming off as annoying or overbearing.
People will judge you all the time, and usually they'll misjudge you anyway, so why bother trying to cater to their opinions at all? , Eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise.
Don't abuse your body, don't overload it, and don't deny it any of the things it needs.
At the same time, don't obsess.
Buying all the moisturizers, creams and conditioners will not bring you closer to who you want to be.
Those things are only band-aids and make up.
Confidence comes from within.
Take the time to reflect on your life and do some emotional maintenance.
In order to be confident, you must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important. , If people put you down (and not in a good-natured, joking way), then let them know that their opinion of you is not held by everyone--most of all yourself.
This may, at first, be hard to do.
But once you stick up for yourself a few times, your confidence builds and you get more adept at it. , If you know you've got something special or different, then embrace it—don't hide it! That's diversity! You may wish that you were taller, or shorter, skinnier, stronger, whatever the case may be.
But you need to realize that if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn't be who you are. "What am I?" you ask; the answer's easy:
You're a unique individual who is capable of growing and learning. , Having good posture can actually make you feel more confident.Don't slouch or slump your shoulders.
Make sure that your back is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest is puffed out slightly (but stay loose, otherwise you'll appear stiff and uptight).
Good posture also helps with deep breathing, which helps with feeling calm and relaxed. , It is surprising how powerful the simple step of taking an action can be.
And the action you take need not be something extravagant or grand.
It could be something as simple as tackling a task that you have been procrastinating, such as writing a letter or tidying up that corner of the garage that has been out of control for the last several months.
It could also be something as interesting as taking a class in yoga, art, interior design, anything that interests you that you haven't done yet.
Whether large or small, action brings with it exhilaration, enthusiasm, and the confidence that other things can be done as well -
Step 3: Find your passion.
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Step 4: Choose a role model
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Step 5: someone close to you
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Step 6: or someone famous.
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Step 7: Focus on others.
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Step 8: Accept compliments gracefully.
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Step 9: Know that you have important things to say and do.
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Step 10: Take care of yourself.
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Step 11: Stick up for yourself.
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Step 12: Celebrate your individuality.
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Step 13: Improve your posture.
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Step 14: Take action.
Detailed Guide
Focusing on your attributes helps distract you from those parts of yourself that you think are flawed.
It doesn't have to be a specific skill or activity either; it can be an approach or an attitude that you champion through life.
Do you always stay calm, cool and collected, even in stressful situations? Are you very patient with people? Do you always see the humorous side of things? Are you always there for your friends?
Whether it's baton twirling, martial arts, classic cars, or basket weaving, you will feel confident pursuing that endeavor by recognizing what you enjoy doing the most.
More importantly, you'll be enjoying your progress. , Think of the qualities that the role model displays, whether physical, emotional, moral, and/or spiritual.
Work towards acquiring those. , Try not to focus negatively on what others think of you.
Instead, focus more on what they think of themselves, and try to help them become happier and more confident. , Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off.
Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well). , When you feel strongly about something, speak loudly and clearly and make eye contact with people.
Let go of your fear of coming off as annoying or overbearing.
People will judge you all the time, and usually they'll misjudge you anyway, so why bother trying to cater to their opinions at all? , Eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise.
Don't abuse your body, don't overload it, and don't deny it any of the things it needs.
At the same time, don't obsess.
Buying all the moisturizers, creams and conditioners will not bring you closer to who you want to be.
Those things are only band-aids and make up.
Confidence comes from within.
Take the time to reflect on your life and do some emotional maintenance.
In order to be confident, you must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important. , If people put you down (and not in a good-natured, joking way), then let them know that their opinion of you is not held by everyone--most of all yourself.
This may, at first, be hard to do.
But once you stick up for yourself a few times, your confidence builds and you get more adept at it. , If you know you've got something special or different, then embrace it—don't hide it! That's diversity! You may wish that you were taller, or shorter, skinnier, stronger, whatever the case may be.
But you need to realize that if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn't be who you are. "What am I?" you ask; the answer's easy:
You're a unique individual who is capable of growing and learning. , Having good posture can actually make you feel more confident.Don't slouch or slump your shoulders.
Make sure that your back is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest is puffed out slightly (but stay loose, otherwise you'll appear stiff and uptight).
Good posture also helps with deep breathing, which helps with feeling calm and relaxed. , It is surprising how powerful the simple step of taking an action can be.
And the action you take need not be something extravagant or grand.
It could be something as simple as tackling a task that you have been procrastinating, such as writing a letter or tidying up that corner of the garage that has been out of control for the last several months.
It could also be something as interesting as taking a class in yoga, art, interior design, anything that interests you that you haven't done yet.
Whether large or small, action brings with it exhilaration, enthusiasm, and the confidence that other things can be done as well
About the Author
Richard Bishop
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow crafts tutorials.
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