How to Maintain Healthy Boundaries As a Massage Therapist
Establish clear boundaries from the outset: From the first contact via telephone, interview the client., Once the client is with you, you can maintain your professional demeanor by having other professional procedures in place like an intake form...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Establish clear boundaries from the outset: From the first contact via telephone
Ask about their familiarity with massage, how often do they get it, what style they like, why they need one today.
If you are getting a weird vibe simply state " I just want to be clear that this is a strictly therapeutic massage and that is what you are looking for." Be conscious of your own tone of voice, be firm and professional.
Also, where are you advertising? make sure it is in a place and in a manner that cannot be misconstrued. -
Step 2: interview the client.
, For instance: a client should tell the therapist if the pressure is too much or too little, a client should not say or do anything that is sexually suggestive.
Additionally, consider this: because the pressure of the massage can turn on the parasympathetic nervous system and cause dilation of the blood vessels, it is common for a man's penis to become erect.
This is perfectly natural and involuntary.
While it is natural many men do have control over it.
Learning to deal with these situations can also give men a chance to resolve any issues they might have about confusing touch with sex. , If you might have hesitation asking a client not to do or say something, putting it in your intake form can empower you.
Later, if you need to ask a client not to do or say something, you can refer back to the intake form and remind the client of your policies. , Address them directly if they arise.
One example is the question, "Do you accept tips?" While this question rarely implies that they are only looking for sex, each situation needs to be looked at individually.
For example, if the client asked "Do you accept tips?" after being touched near an erogenous zone, don't scream or run out of the room.
Let them know that sometimes being touched results in sexual arousal but that you won't be participating in that with them.
Too many massage therapists make the mistake of making the client feel guilty about what can be an innocent action.
This does not, of course, mean they can touch you or say suggestive things to you. , Clients can feign innocence when you say something about it.
A questionable comment or touch should be addressed as soon as it happens.
One phrase would be, "This massage is strictly about me touching you, not the other way around.
I will not continue if you do that again."
Setting boundaries also includes your policies and procedures around your business like cancellation policies, late fees/charges, no show policies which teach clients how you want to be treated. , Reassure the client that you have a non-disclosure policy. , Keeping the roles separate is often the best for preserving the massage relationship although there have been successful friendships that originated in a therapist/client relationship. , You are not there to judge a client's body, nor offer diet advice or smoking advice. , All relationships actually start with transference.
What we are paid for as massage professionals is to be aware of our roles in these dynamics so that we can learn to not get hooked into crossing boundaries and preserving the therapeutic relationship. -
Step 3: Once the client is with you
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Step 4: you can maintain your professional demeanor by having other professional procedures in place like an intake form that clearly articulates the professional standards of your practice.
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Step 5: In your intake form
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Step 6: be sure to establish appropriate and inappropriate actions that a client may and may not take.
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Step 7: Make your intake form based on your personality.
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Step 8: Learn to identify the signals and clues that a client is looking for sexual services.
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Step 9: Don't let anything slide.
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Step 10: It isn't just about sexual boundaries.
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Step 11: Boundaries also include things like active listening rather than always giving advice and how much you talk during a session -It is the client's session.
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Step 12: Boundaries also include things like having dual relationships with clients
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Step 13: having clients as friends
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Step 14: doing trades with clients for other services such as bookkeeping or legal advice.
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Step 15: Keep your opinions to yourself about personal issues
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Step 16: religion
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Step 17: politics and the like.
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Step 18: Transference and Counter transference happen.
Detailed Guide
Ask about their familiarity with massage, how often do they get it, what style they like, why they need one today.
If you are getting a weird vibe simply state " I just want to be clear that this is a strictly therapeutic massage and that is what you are looking for." Be conscious of your own tone of voice, be firm and professional.
Also, where are you advertising? make sure it is in a place and in a manner that cannot be misconstrued.
, For instance: a client should tell the therapist if the pressure is too much or too little, a client should not say or do anything that is sexually suggestive.
Additionally, consider this: because the pressure of the massage can turn on the parasympathetic nervous system and cause dilation of the blood vessels, it is common for a man's penis to become erect.
This is perfectly natural and involuntary.
While it is natural many men do have control over it.
Learning to deal with these situations can also give men a chance to resolve any issues they might have about confusing touch with sex. , If you might have hesitation asking a client not to do or say something, putting it in your intake form can empower you.
Later, if you need to ask a client not to do or say something, you can refer back to the intake form and remind the client of your policies. , Address them directly if they arise.
One example is the question, "Do you accept tips?" While this question rarely implies that they are only looking for sex, each situation needs to be looked at individually.
For example, if the client asked "Do you accept tips?" after being touched near an erogenous zone, don't scream or run out of the room.
Let them know that sometimes being touched results in sexual arousal but that you won't be participating in that with them.
Too many massage therapists make the mistake of making the client feel guilty about what can be an innocent action.
This does not, of course, mean they can touch you or say suggestive things to you. , Clients can feign innocence when you say something about it.
A questionable comment or touch should be addressed as soon as it happens.
One phrase would be, "This massage is strictly about me touching you, not the other way around.
I will not continue if you do that again."
Setting boundaries also includes your policies and procedures around your business like cancellation policies, late fees/charges, no show policies which teach clients how you want to be treated. , Reassure the client that you have a non-disclosure policy. , Keeping the roles separate is often the best for preserving the massage relationship although there have been successful friendships that originated in a therapist/client relationship. , You are not there to judge a client's body, nor offer diet advice or smoking advice. , All relationships actually start with transference.
What we are paid for as massage professionals is to be aware of our roles in these dynamics so that we can learn to not get hooked into crossing boundaries and preserving the therapeutic relationship.
About the Author
Doris Robinson
Doris Robinson is an experienced writer with over 5 years of expertise in education and learning. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Doris creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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