How to Motivate a Friend Who Has the Blues

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Ask them what's up.

   If you're not already aware of their problem (such as the death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc.), it's important to understand what is demotivating them first.
   
   If you are aware, you'll be ready to offer advice and help that is aimed at successfully helping them through their distress.
   
   Some people might be reluctant to talk about what's bothering is.
   
   Reassure your friend that whatever it is, they can tell you whenever they're ready.
2. 2

   Step 2: Ask your friend what sort of help they might want from you.

   That way, you can be of real assistance should they come up with exact needs.
   
   This won't always happen, of course, but it is worth asking so as to not appear to be running roughshod over their own wants and ignoring their feelings. , Once you're aware of the underlying reasons and whether or not they have any concrete needs in mind, it's time to turn into "helper motivational mode".
   
   Write down a list of things that you know they used to enjoy doing.
   
   Assess this list against:
   Likelihood of your friend's current interest in former activities (for example, if they loved motorcycling but a buddy died while out motorcycling together, your friend may not want to try it again for a while) Cost (maybe you can shout an unemployed friend or remind them of free activity opportunities) Availability of activity (is it close, far away, convenient or otherwise?) Your ability to be involved (e.g., going to the event/activity with your friend, dropping off and picking up your friend, taking others as well, etc.) Need for regular dedication (e.g., joining a club, sports team, etc.) and the likelihood of your friend sticking with this Other factors that you can think of that might impinge on the success or otherwise of your helper plan. , The activity needs to be doable in a short period of time to begin with; you can build up to more active, lengthy activities as your friend's motivation begins to return.
   
   Choose whatever will not make your friend feel exhausted, worried, or afraid to do. , It might be a movie night-in together, a dinner together at your house, a walk down the beach together, a shopping trip, etc.
   
   It is most important that you make yourself available for your friend so that they can be with someone that they trust and can rely upon. , One time a week, two times a week, three times a week, etc.
   
   As you see your friend becoming more motivated again and feeling safe and comfortable in getting out and about, gradually curtail some of your involvement.
   
   You might, for instance, offer to drive them to their Pilates class but not to join in with it anymore. , As well as activities, stay in touch by phone, texting, email, and small, short notes that praise your friend's good points.
   
   Let your friend know that you care, that you're available when needed, and that there is always light at the end of a bad period of life.
   
   And mostly, that friends are there for the long haul.
3. 3

   Step 3: Start working on getting your friend active.

4. 4

   Step 4: Choose an activity that you think will work as a starting step.

5. 5

   Step 5: Offer to spend some quality time with your friend.

6. 6

   Step 6: Keep building up the motivational activities.

7. 7

   Step 7: Keep in touch.

Detailed Guide

About the Author