How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Remind yourself of your priorities for the holidays.

   It can be easy to feel that everything is important, exciting, and necessary during the buzz of the holidays.
   
   From attending the office holiday party, to making sure every gift has a hand-tied bow, it can seem like everything is a priority.
   
   However, having a clear idea of what’s important to you will help you determine what boundaries you need to set during this time.Make a list of the most important things in your life.
   
   For example, you might write, “family, career, and health” on your list.
   
   You may want to include those things that make the holidays meaningful for you like giving to others, spending time with loved ones, or reflecting on life.
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   Step 2: Determine why you’re setting boundaries.

   It can be tempting to say, “I’m going to spend less” or “I’m not going to eat too much” without having a clear goal in mind that explains why you’re setting this limit.
   
   Knowing why you’re setting a certain limit can help you set the boundary and stick to it.Think about your priorities and what you need to do to maintain them.
   
   For example, you might think, “I’m setting boundaries with my eating because being a healthy weight is important to me.” Or, for example, you might say to yourself, “I’m setting limits on how much I work because I want to spend time with my loved ones.” If it helps, write your reasons for setting boundaries down so that you can refer to them when you need a quick reminder of why you set limits during the holidays. , Before you can set boundaries during the holidays (or any other time) you have to decide what the boundary will be.Think about your reasons for setting boundaries and what a reasonable limit will be.
   
   For example, you might think, “Spending $10 on each gift will mean I spend $100 on gifts.
   
   I really don’t have that much to spare.
   
   Maybe I can spend $5 per gift.
   
   That’s more reasonable.” Or, you might decide, for instance, that you can cut back your work hours from 45 a week to 35 during the holidays without risking your career or financial security.
   
   You might also decide that you want to attend one holiday event per weekend, and no more.
   
   You may find it easier to say "no" to someone when you have already booked something for that weekend.
   
   Or, you might decide that spending time with friends is more important to you, and try to shop ahead of the holidays to free up your time. , This means being aware of what you’re thinking, how you feel, and what you are doing at all times.
   
   It means paying attention to your body, as well as keeping in mind the goals and commitments you made.
   
   Being mindful can help you become aware of when you need to set boundaries and what limits you may need to set during the holidays.
   
   Being mindful can help you be aware of signals your body is giving you that you may need to set a boundary or reconsider a decision.
   
   For example, if your stomach clenches when your co-worker invites you to a holiday party, you may need to think before saying “yes.” If you refer to your list, then you can say, "I'd love to, but I already have an engagement that weekend.
   
   Thanks so much for including me." Or, for example, being mindful of your holiday spending limits can help prevent you from spending too much on decorations and presents. , During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season it can be easy to give into impulse and spur-of-the-moment decisions that you may regret later.
   
   Instead, slow down and take your time when you’re making decisions.
   
   Doing this will give you time to think about what you’re doing and whether it’s something you want to do.
   
   For example, instead of automatically saying, “Sure” when someone asks if you’ll do them a favor, take the time to find out what the favor is first.
   
   You can say, "I will check my calendar when I get home.
   
   I have a lot of things planned during the holidays and can't keep track of them all." Or, for instance, wait 10 minutes before having a second helping of holiday dinner to make sure that you’re really still hungry.
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   Step 3: Decide where to draw the line.

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   Step 4: Be mindful of your actions and feelings.

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   Step 5: Take your time making decisions.

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