How to Start a Conversation with Someone on the Train, Bus or Subway
Understand the environment., Carry a prop., Scope out the situation., Position yourself for success., Try to make eye contact., Smile when making eye contact the second time., Use appropriate body language., Read the person's body language., Ask the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand the environment.
Everyone is just trying to get from point A to point B, and they may get off the bus, train, or subway at the next stop.
Thus you can't hesitate if you're going to talk to someone.
Keep in mind that few people actually want to talk to strangers on their trip, but some will, especially if you seem nice and interesting.
Be decisive, but don't be aggressive. -
Step 2: Carry a prop.
Bring some reading material that you can pretend to read.
It will make you feel and appear more comfortable.
Don't wear headphones unless you want to appear unapproachable. , OK, so someone has caught your eye.
Before you try to initiate a conversation, make sure they're not with their significant other.
If they're with anyone at all, proceed with caution, but remember, their companion may just be a friend or relative, or he or she may be a complete stranger who has the same idea that you do. , If you see the person while at the bus stop or train station, wait until he or she gets on the bus or train before trying to converse.
Follow them in discreetly and sit opposite them if possible.
You'll have a good chance to make eye contact this way, and besides, you might appear somewhat invasive if you sit down next to them.
If they're standing, stand near enough to them to be able to speak with them, but don't get too close for comfort. , Making brief eye contact can show the person that you're interested and help you gauge whether he or she is interested in you.
Glance at the person (don't stare) and try to hold their gaze for just a second or two.
Don't look away before she does! This shows confidence.
Try to make eye contact again after about 30 seconds.
If the person makes eye contact with you again, they probably find you attractive.
Don't be too obvious, but make sure the person can see that you're looking at them.
If they can't see you, you can't expect them to make eye contact. , A small, but genuine smile makes you appear interested, friendly, and approachable.
If the other person smiles back, you're probably in luck. , Don't cross your arms or turn away from the person.
Make yourself appear open and comfortable, and exhibit good (but not freakishly good) posture.
Don't look at your watch or a clock constantly, as it will give the impression that you are in a hurry and the person might not talk to you, because they don't want to bother you. , If he or she exhibits open body language toward you, that's a great sign.
If the person turns away or buries his or her head in a book, that's not so good. , A question is a great way to start a conversation, but not just any question will do.
Ask an open-ended question that requires more than a "yes" or "no" answer.
For example, ask, "How do you get to the Eiffel Tower?" instead of "Does this bus stop at the Eiffel Tower?" What you ask isn't really important, as long as it's not invasive, insulting or insane, e.g. the Eiffel Tower questions might seem dumb in New York. , Listen attentively to the person's response to your question and then just make small talk.
If the person is interested in you, the conversation will probably flow fairly naturally (unless he or she is shy) and you may be able to get a phone number or email address.
Then casually be the first to leave.
This will establish a self confidence in both of your minds.
If the person isn't interested, you'll probably be able to tell pretty quickly. -
Step 3: Scope out the situation.
-
Step 4: Position yourself for success.
-
Step 5: Try to make eye contact.
-
Step 6: Smile when making eye contact the second time.
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Step 7: Use appropriate body language.
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Step 8: Read the person's body language.
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Step 9: Ask the person a question.
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Step 10: Keep conversing.
Detailed Guide
Everyone is just trying to get from point A to point B, and they may get off the bus, train, or subway at the next stop.
Thus you can't hesitate if you're going to talk to someone.
Keep in mind that few people actually want to talk to strangers on their trip, but some will, especially if you seem nice and interesting.
Be decisive, but don't be aggressive.
Bring some reading material that you can pretend to read.
It will make you feel and appear more comfortable.
Don't wear headphones unless you want to appear unapproachable. , OK, so someone has caught your eye.
Before you try to initiate a conversation, make sure they're not with their significant other.
If they're with anyone at all, proceed with caution, but remember, their companion may just be a friend or relative, or he or she may be a complete stranger who has the same idea that you do. , If you see the person while at the bus stop or train station, wait until he or she gets on the bus or train before trying to converse.
Follow them in discreetly and sit opposite them if possible.
You'll have a good chance to make eye contact this way, and besides, you might appear somewhat invasive if you sit down next to them.
If they're standing, stand near enough to them to be able to speak with them, but don't get too close for comfort. , Making brief eye contact can show the person that you're interested and help you gauge whether he or she is interested in you.
Glance at the person (don't stare) and try to hold their gaze for just a second or two.
Don't look away before she does! This shows confidence.
Try to make eye contact again after about 30 seconds.
If the person makes eye contact with you again, they probably find you attractive.
Don't be too obvious, but make sure the person can see that you're looking at them.
If they can't see you, you can't expect them to make eye contact. , A small, but genuine smile makes you appear interested, friendly, and approachable.
If the other person smiles back, you're probably in luck. , Don't cross your arms or turn away from the person.
Make yourself appear open and comfortable, and exhibit good (but not freakishly good) posture.
Don't look at your watch or a clock constantly, as it will give the impression that you are in a hurry and the person might not talk to you, because they don't want to bother you. , If he or she exhibits open body language toward you, that's a great sign.
If the person turns away or buries his or her head in a book, that's not so good. , A question is a great way to start a conversation, but not just any question will do.
Ask an open-ended question that requires more than a "yes" or "no" answer.
For example, ask, "How do you get to the Eiffel Tower?" instead of "Does this bus stop at the Eiffel Tower?" What you ask isn't really important, as long as it's not invasive, insulting or insane, e.g. the Eiffel Tower questions might seem dumb in New York. , Listen attentively to the person's response to your question and then just make small talk.
If the person is interested in you, the conversation will probably flow fairly naturally (unless he or she is shy) and you may be able to get a phone number or email address.
Then casually be the first to leave.
This will establish a self confidence in both of your minds.
If the person isn't interested, you'll probably be able to tell pretty quickly.
About the Author
John Hernandez
Brings years of experience writing about DIY projects and related subjects.
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