How to Stop Being Friends With Someone
Recognize the signs., Assess whether you’re the problem., Determine whether the friendship is toxic., Avoid enabling friendships.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Recognize the signs.
Recognize what experts call a “friendshift” by paying careful attention to your feelings when you see photos of your friend on social media or get a call from her/him.
Realize everyone has moments in their lives when their friendship network is shifting.
You only have a small amount of time and energy to devote to friendships.
Consider whether your friend makes you feel positive or negative about yourself.
For example, does your friend always make passive-aggressive comments about your job or appearance? Are you more insecure after conversing with your friend? If so, it’s probably time to end the friendship.
True friends build you up positively, they don't make you doubt yourself.. -
Step 2: Assess whether you’re the problem.
Maybe the issues in the friendship really are issues inside of you.
If that’s the case, work on the friendship or on yourself before making the decision to end it completely.
If your friend has betrayed you or broken your trust, you may need to end the friendship.
Sharing confidences and trying to undermine you at work or in a relationship are examples of betrayals that may warrant the ending the friendship.
If you're the person doing those things, then you should work on yourself first.
If your reasons aren’t good ones – simple jealousy when the friend didn’t do anything to you, comes to mind – maybe you should work on yourself before you end the friendship. , Toxic friendships can actually be harmful to your health.
One study found that people who had negative interactions with friends had higher level of proteins related to inflammation in their bodies that were linked to chronic conditions like depression and heart disease.
A toxic friendship is one in which the friend is always talking about negative topics, even if they are things happening to the friend.
You should consider whether the negativity is situational.
If the friend is just going through a hard time, the friendship might be worth saving.
However, if it’s become a pattern of constant negativity, it might be time for a change – for your own sake.
Researchers have found three kinds of toxic friends:
Friends who are too competitive with you, friends who pick fights with you, and friends who cling to you and demand too much of your energy.
Before ending a friendship, ask yourself whether you trust the other person, whether they bring out the best in you (and you in them), and whether you think they care about you and respect you. , These are friendships where you were brought together by a behavior that you are now trying to stop.
It’s best to end a friendship like this if it’s enabling you to be a person you don't want to be.
Examples of enabling friendships are friendships based around drinking, infidelity, partying, or shopping addiction.
If the glue of your friendship is a behavior that you want to change about yourself, you might have to let the friendship go for your own future.
Sometimes friendships are created through mutual crisis, such as two friends who unite because they are both having marital problems.
If one friend works out the relationship and the other doesn’t, the common ground can be gone. -
Step 3: Determine whether the friendship is toxic.
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Step 4: Avoid enabling friendships.
Detailed Guide
Recognize what experts call a “friendshift” by paying careful attention to your feelings when you see photos of your friend on social media or get a call from her/him.
Realize everyone has moments in their lives when their friendship network is shifting.
You only have a small amount of time and energy to devote to friendships.
Consider whether your friend makes you feel positive or negative about yourself.
For example, does your friend always make passive-aggressive comments about your job or appearance? Are you more insecure after conversing with your friend? If so, it’s probably time to end the friendship.
True friends build you up positively, they don't make you doubt yourself..
Maybe the issues in the friendship really are issues inside of you.
If that’s the case, work on the friendship or on yourself before making the decision to end it completely.
If your friend has betrayed you or broken your trust, you may need to end the friendship.
Sharing confidences and trying to undermine you at work or in a relationship are examples of betrayals that may warrant the ending the friendship.
If you're the person doing those things, then you should work on yourself first.
If your reasons aren’t good ones – simple jealousy when the friend didn’t do anything to you, comes to mind – maybe you should work on yourself before you end the friendship. , Toxic friendships can actually be harmful to your health.
One study found that people who had negative interactions with friends had higher level of proteins related to inflammation in their bodies that were linked to chronic conditions like depression and heart disease.
A toxic friendship is one in which the friend is always talking about negative topics, even if they are things happening to the friend.
You should consider whether the negativity is situational.
If the friend is just going through a hard time, the friendship might be worth saving.
However, if it’s become a pattern of constant negativity, it might be time for a change – for your own sake.
Researchers have found three kinds of toxic friends:
Friends who are too competitive with you, friends who pick fights with you, and friends who cling to you and demand too much of your energy.
Before ending a friendship, ask yourself whether you trust the other person, whether they bring out the best in you (and you in them), and whether you think they care about you and respect you. , These are friendships where you were brought together by a behavior that you are now trying to stop.
It’s best to end a friendship like this if it’s enabling you to be a person you don't want to be.
Examples of enabling friendships are friendships based around drinking, infidelity, partying, or shopping addiction.
If the glue of your friendship is a behavior that you want to change about yourself, you might have to let the friendship go for your own future.
Sometimes friendships are created through mutual crisis, such as two friends who unite because they are both having marital problems.
If one friend works out the relationship and the other doesn’t, the common ground can be gone.
About the Author
Victoria Morales
Creates helpful guides on cooking to inspire and educate readers.
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