How to Talk to a Friend Who Gossips

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: See for yourself if the person is a gossip - if you are just taking someone else's word that they are

   If they openly share intimate details of their relationships or friendships with other people with you, then you can be fairly certain that they will be doing the same with your personal information.
   
   Note however that if you are exceptionally good friends, then they may not be doing this, but generally, it is a good way to spot a gossip.
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   Step 2: then you'll never know the truth and will have been wrongly accusing them of gossiping.

   Although it may be annoying, if you really want to stay friends with this person, then you can't let your guard down even for a moment.
   
   Try to keep off certain subjects which could portray you badly or sharing your deepest thoughts with the person and certainly do not give out other people's information as it will almost certainly got out that you leaked the information. , If the friend pesters you to tell them, stand your ground and say that it's personal. , This helps you build your confidence and will stop hurtful gossip spreading around, but make sure you don't over-do it otherwise you will appear to be a big-head with an ego.
   
   Remember that nobody gossips about nice things, so if you give the friend very little or nothing negative to say about you, then you probably won't be mentioned at all. , Make sure you are persistent in telling them this, but do not treat them like an idiot. , Although it may sound nasty, if they share something really personal about themselves, keep it as a back-up so that if they ever threaten to tell someone else your secrets then you can remind them that you also have heard theirs too.
   
   This will remain at the back of their mind when speaking to others and will help to keep your secrets safe.
   
   Of course, don't use this information, but in a friendly way mention that you both have shared so much with each other. , It may not stop the friend gossiping, but you will know that if they hear anything, they will tell you.
   
   If you can trust them, ask them to keep an eye out to make sure that your friend isn't gossiping to others. , Remember, gossipers are looking for acceptance and think that information is power (thus sharing all their gossip means they are powerful in their eyes), so if you make sure that none of your other friends or family are comfortable with gossiping, then the gossiper will obey and follow suit. , Tell them that it hurt your feelings and that you trusted them with this information.
   
   Only confront the person if you are certain they have been talking about you
   - again, don't just go on someone else's word. , If you really cannot make the friendship work, then it is probably best you both go your separate ways.
   
   At best, you could keep them as an acquaintance who you can make small talk with over a coffee or at the supermarket.
   
   If you want to end the friendship, do it gradually over time
   - if you get into a huge discussion about it then your friend will almost certainly start spreading rumours about you, but if you simply stop visiting as often, then you may be able to avoid this.
   
   Handle the situation with care and sensitivity, more so than any other.
   
   If all else fails, tell them to go tell your secrets
   - they will feel like they've lost their power over you and won't feel so eager to spread rumours.
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   Step 3: Be aware of what you say when you are speaking to them.

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   Step 4: Change the subject if you are uncomfortable with what you are discussing.

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   Step 5: Share good things with your friend about yourself.

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   Step 6: Make sure the friend knows that what you are telling them is private and for no one else to know

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   Step 7: if you are intent on sharing personal information with them.

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   Step 8: Get them to really open up about themselves - one thing gossips love to talk about is themselves.

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   Step 9: Keep a close-knit group of friends and family who you can trust and depend on.

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    Step 10: Make sure other friends and family members who you can trust stop gossiping too.

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    Step 11: Confront and express your feelings to your friend if you have proof they have been gossiping about you.

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    Step 12: Consider terminating the friendship.

Detailed Guide

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