How to Talk to a Girl if You Have a Stutter

Let her know you like her., Introduce yourself, or say hello., Don’t avoid certain words., Pause between words., Ask her questions., Tell her about your stuttering., Make a statement about her., Build your self-confidence.

9 Steps 5 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Let her know you like her.

    If you’re so stressed about the possibility of stuttering, the girl you’re talking to might never know that you like her.

    Smile at her, and look her in the eyes.

    Making eye contact with a girl lets her know you want to know her better.Lean in closer to her when she’s talking.

    This will reassure her that you’re interested in what she has to say.

    Tilt your head towards her.

    Look down every now and then, so that you can look back up at her face.

    Try not to look around the room, or over her head, as this will make it seem you’re more interested in finding someone better to talk to.
  2. Step 2: Introduce yourself

    If you already know each other from school or work, you won’t have to introduce yourself like you would someone you’ve never met.

    Be confident and casual in your language, using words that don’t tend to cause stuttering problems.

    However, if you should stutter when saying your name or greeting her, don’t panic.

    Instead, move slowly through the word, taking all the time you need.Keep your words simple, relying on your body language to do most of the communication.

    Say something like, “Hi, I’m Joe.

    What’s your name?” When she tells you her name, smile and repeat it.

    Even if her name starts with a letter that’s difficult for you to say, such as a P or a D, you can turn it to your advantage.

    After all, this is a good way to confidently introduce your stutter. , Most stutterers are aware of certain sounds or words that are more likely to be blocked by a stutter.

    If you’re trying to talk to a girl, talk at your normal rate of speed.

    When you feel yourself like to stutter on a particular word, slow down.

    If the word doesn’t come, allow yourself to stutter gently and slowly.You’ll want to keep your lips, tongue and jaw moving gently, maintaining a sense of relaxation in your brain.

    Take all the time you need to get the word out.

    The most important thing is not to panic.

    She’s not likely to mind your stutter if you don’t. , Some speech therapists recommend that a stutterer pause briefly after the first word of a sentence, and then again every 2-5 words.

    This might sound unnatural, but the girl you’re talking to isn’t likely to notice if you’re confident about what you’re doing.Pausing happens naturally during speech anyway.

    For example, “This...is maybe the most...boring...class party ever.” You can use eye contact along with your pauses, and finish the statement with a smile. , You could ask questions about the situation you’re in together.

    For example, “What the name of that song that’s playing?” Or “What’s up with these snacks?” You can ask questions about her interests, such as, “I like your tee-shirt.

    Have you heard that band in concert?”You can ask more open-ended questions after an initial introduction, such as “What do you do for fun on the weekend?” The more open-ended your question, the broader her response might be. , Be honest and forthright.

    If you’re dreading stuttering in front of her, you’re more likely to get stuck in a stutter.

    You can talk about when you first began to stutter, and how it feels to stutter.

    You might want to tell her some of the interesting aspects of stuttering, such as the fact that about 1 in 100 people worldwide have a stutter; this fact remains the same regardless of culture.There are a lot of famous people who had persistent stammers into adulthood, including Charles Darwin, Isaac Newton, and Winston Churchill.

    There is not a cure for stuttering, but over the years many entertaining treatments have been devised, including having people talk to the beat of a metronome or to draw an 8 with their finger as they talked.

    One famous “cure” had people eating carrots while they talked! , Making an observation about her might spark a conversation between you.

    You could use this opportunity to pay her a compliment, or to bring up a shared interest.The hazards of paying a girl a compliment are that she might become flustered and not know what to say in response.

    Be prepared with follow-up question in case this happens.

    For example, you might offer the statement, “You seem like you’re in a good mood today.” If she doesn’t respond, follow it up with an open-ended question, such as, “What did you think of that last song?” , If you remember that your stutter doesn’t define who you are, you’re more likely to be able to bring a sense of self-confidence into a conversation with a girl.

    Try to remember that everybody has feelings of inadequacy at times, no matter how confident they may appear in public.Try identifying with others, rather than comparing yourself with them.

    After all, you can only see what they appear like on the outside
    - inside, they may be struggling with insecurities that you can’t see.

    Feelings of self-consciousness interfere with your ability to engage confidently with a girl.
  3. Step 3: or say hello.

  4. Step 4: Don’t avoid certain words.

  5. Step 5: Pause between words.

  6. Step 6: Ask her questions.

  7. Step 7: Tell her about your stuttering.

  8. Step 8: Make a statement about her.

  9. Step 9: Build your self-confidence.

Detailed Guide

If you’re so stressed about the possibility of stuttering, the girl you’re talking to might never know that you like her.

Smile at her, and look her in the eyes.

Making eye contact with a girl lets her know you want to know her better.Lean in closer to her when she’s talking.

This will reassure her that you’re interested in what she has to say.

Tilt your head towards her.

Look down every now and then, so that you can look back up at her face.

Try not to look around the room, or over her head, as this will make it seem you’re more interested in finding someone better to talk to.

If you already know each other from school or work, you won’t have to introduce yourself like you would someone you’ve never met.

Be confident and casual in your language, using words that don’t tend to cause stuttering problems.

However, if you should stutter when saying your name or greeting her, don’t panic.

Instead, move slowly through the word, taking all the time you need.Keep your words simple, relying on your body language to do most of the communication.

Say something like, “Hi, I’m Joe.

What’s your name?” When she tells you her name, smile and repeat it.

Even if her name starts with a letter that’s difficult for you to say, such as a P or a D, you can turn it to your advantage.

After all, this is a good way to confidently introduce your stutter. , Most stutterers are aware of certain sounds or words that are more likely to be blocked by a stutter.

If you’re trying to talk to a girl, talk at your normal rate of speed.

When you feel yourself like to stutter on a particular word, slow down.

If the word doesn’t come, allow yourself to stutter gently and slowly.You’ll want to keep your lips, tongue and jaw moving gently, maintaining a sense of relaxation in your brain.

Take all the time you need to get the word out.

The most important thing is not to panic.

She’s not likely to mind your stutter if you don’t. , Some speech therapists recommend that a stutterer pause briefly after the first word of a sentence, and then again every 2-5 words.

This might sound unnatural, but the girl you’re talking to isn’t likely to notice if you’re confident about what you’re doing.Pausing happens naturally during speech anyway.

For example, “This...is maybe the most...boring...class party ever.” You can use eye contact along with your pauses, and finish the statement with a smile. , You could ask questions about the situation you’re in together.

For example, “What the name of that song that’s playing?” Or “What’s up with these snacks?” You can ask questions about her interests, such as, “I like your tee-shirt.

Have you heard that band in concert?”You can ask more open-ended questions after an initial introduction, such as “What do you do for fun on the weekend?” The more open-ended your question, the broader her response might be. , Be honest and forthright.

If you’re dreading stuttering in front of her, you’re more likely to get stuck in a stutter.

You can talk about when you first began to stutter, and how it feels to stutter.

You might want to tell her some of the interesting aspects of stuttering, such as the fact that about 1 in 100 people worldwide have a stutter; this fact remains the same regardless of culture.There are a lot of famous people who had persistent stammers into adulthood, including Charles Darwin, Isaac Newton, and Winston Churchill.

There is not a cure for stuttering, but over the years many entertaining treatments have been devised, including having people talk to the beat of a metronome or to draw an 8 with their finger as they talked.

One famous “cure” had people eating carrots while they talked! , Making an observation about her might spark a conversation between you.

You could use this opportunity to pay her a compliment, or to bring up a shared interest.The hazards of paying a girl a compliment are that she might become flustered and not know what to say in response.

Be prepared with follow-up question in case this happens.

For example, you might offer the statement, “You seem like you’re in a good mood today.” If she doesn’t respond, follow it up with an open-ended question, such as, “What did you think of that last song?” , If you remember that your stutter doesn’t define who you are, you’re more likely to be able to bring a sense of self-confidence into a conversation with a girl.

Try to remember that everybody has feelings of inadequacy at times, no matter how confident they may appear in public.Try identifying with others, rather than comparing yourself with them.

After all, you can only see what they appear like on the outside
- inside, they may be struggling with insecurities that you can’t see.

Feelings of self-consciousness interfere with your ability to engage confidently with a girl.

About the Author

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Ann Ford

Brings years of experience writing about pet care and related subjects.

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