How to Talk With a Gay or Lesbian Person
Understand that interacting with a gay or lesbian person is not different., Be open minded, as you would be with any other person., Do not assume that a person is sexually attracted to you., Be respectful., Realize that friendship requires work...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand that interacting with a gay or lesbian person is not different.
Understand that you do not need to act differently when talking with a person just because they are different from you.
Being gay or lesbian is only one aspect of a person, and it doesn’t have to be at the forefront of every interaction.If you want to become friends with a person, you should do so because you enjoy similar interests (e.g. volunteering, going to the movies, reading literature, etc.).
Being platonic friends with someone has nothing to do with sexuality.
Forget about stereotypes.
Gay men and lesbians vary greatly in their appearances, the way they talk, and the way they behave just the same as everyone else.
A person’s sexuality will not always be apparent based on their appearances or actions.
Accept the fact that the ability to love or care for another is not solely related to sexuality, and that all relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual, should be built on mutual attraction, love, respect and trust. -
Step 2: Be open minded
There are nice and mean gay people; just as there are nice and mean straight people.
Dealing with the challenges of life takes a lot of courage for everyone.
Try to think about the reasons why you or other people might object to being gay or lesbian and write some of these reasons down.
After you have written these things down, try writing a defense of the opposite perspective.What might the person who is gay or lesbian say to defend him or herself against your list? Keeping an open mind will open your world up to a lot of opportunities you might have otherwise missed out on. , If you are female, do you assume that all straight boys are attracted to you? If you are male, do you think all straight girls are interested in you, just because they like boys? The same thing applies to everyone; just because a person is attracted to your gender does not mean that they are sexually interested in you.
Being a gay man or lesbian does not mean that they are attracted to every single person they meet that is of the same sex, just like you aren’t attracted to every single person you meet that is of the opposite sex. , If you have questions, be aware that you may be treading on sensitive ground.
Would you appreciate being asked about your sex life by a work colleague? Probably not.
Think about if you were asked that kind of question about being straight and about your partner.
Use this as a gauge for what is appropriate and what is not.
A gay or bisexual person may wish to disclose their sexual preferences with you, or they may not.Talking about sexuality is the same regardless of orientation.
If you have a question you want to ask, you would probably only ask someone you are very close with and only under the right circumstances. , Being friends with a gay man or lesbian is just like having a straight friend.
You will have to take all of the same steps to maintain a friendship with a gay or lesbian person as you would with a straight person.
For example, you have to make time for them, respect them, listen to them, and of course, have fun hanging out with them.As with all people, if you have a close gay or lesbian friend who is struggling in their life, be supportive.
If they need someone to listen, then be there for them.
There problems might have their own unique aspects that are hard to understand, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a loving, supportive friend. , LGBT people have their problems just like everyone else does.
They have faced challenges that have shaped who they are and how they see the world, just like everyone.
You don’t need to treat an LGBT person as though you feel sorry for them, and they will probably notice that you are doing it, just like anyone would.Treat them with respect because they have dealt with the challenges that life has given them, just as you and everyone else you know has. -
Step 3: as you would be with any other person.
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Step 4: Do not assume that a person is sexually attracted to you.
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Step 5: Be respectful.
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Step 6: Realize that friendship requires work.
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Step 7: Don’t act like you feel sorry for a gay or lesbian person.
Detailed Guide
Understand that you do not need to act differently when talking with a person just because they are different from you.
Being gay or lesbian is only one aspect of a person, and it doesn’t have to be at the forefront of every interaction.If you want to become friends with a person, you should do so because you enjoy similar interests (e.g. volunteering, going to the movies, reading literature, etc.).
Being platonic friends with someone has nothing to do with sexuality.
Forget about stereotypes.
Gay men and lesbians vary greatly in their appearances, the way they talk, and the way they behave just the same as everyone else.
A person’s sexuality will not always be apparent based on their appearances or actions.
Accept the fact that the ability to love or care for another is not solely related to sexuality, and that all relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual, should be built on mutual attraction, love, respect and trust.
There are nice and mean gay people; just as there are nice and mean straight people.
Dealing with the challenges of life takes a lot of courage for everyone.
Try to think about the reasons why you or other people might object to being gay or lesbian and write some of these reasons down.
After you have written these things down, try writing a defense of the opposite perspective.What might the person who is gay or lesbian say to defend him or herself against your list? Keeping an open mind will open your world up to a lot of opportunities you might have otherwise missed out on. , If you are female, do you assume that all straight boys are attracted to you? If you are male, do you think all straight girls are interested in you, just because they like boys? The same thing applies to everyone; just because a person is attracted to your gender does not mean that they are sexually interested in you.
Being a gay man or lesbian does not mean that they are attracted to every single person they meet that is of the same sex, just like you aren’t attracted to every single person you meet that is of the opposite sex. , If you have questions, be aware that you may be treading on sensitive ground.
Would you appreciate being asked about your sex life by a work colleague? Probably not.
Think about if you were asked that kind of question about being straight and about your partner.
Use this as a gauge for what is appropriate and what is not.
A gay or bisexual person may wish to disclose their sexual preferences with you, or they may not.Talking about sexuality is the same regardless of orientation.
If you have a question you want to ask, you would probably only ask someone you are very close with and only under the right circumstances. , Being friends with a gay man or lesbian is just like having a straight friend.
You will have to take all of the same steps to maintain a friendship with a gay or lesbian person as you would with a straight person.
For example, you have to make time for them, respect them, listen to them, and of course, have fun hanging out with them.As with all people, if you have a close gay or lesbian friend who is struggling in their life, be supportive.
If they need someone to listen, then be there for them.
There problems might have their own unique aspects that are hard to understand, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a loving, supportive friend. , LGBT people have their problems just like everyone else does.
They have faced challenges that have shaped who they are and how they see the world, just like everyone.
You don’t need to treat an LGBT person as though you feel sorry for them, and they will probably notice that you are doing it, just like anyone would.Treat them with respect because they have dealt with the challenges that life has given them, just as you and everyone else you know has.
About the Author
Linda Young
Brings years of experience writing about creative arts and related subjects.
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