How to Tell a Friend You Need Some Space

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Paint a mental picture of what you want.

   You are always less likely to hurt someone’s feelings if you can communicate how you feel and what you need without making them defensive.
   
   Try to describe in detail how you feel, and help them picture what you need.For example, you could say, “I have had such a hard work week.
   
   In an ideal world, I would be able to lie in my bed all day.
   
   Can I ask you a favor? Would you mind if we didn’t hang out tonight?” If you need more time than that, you could say, "I am going through a lot in my world right now, and I really need some time to reevaluate things.
   
   Can I ask you a favor? It's a big one.
   
   Would you mind if we didn’t hang or talk for a few weeks?”
2. 2

   Step 2: Follow a script.

   If you want to politely decline social invitations, but you are feeling shy, just follow a script.
   
   This will help you not to overly-apologize.
   
   It is perfectly okay to say “no” without saying “I’m sorry.” Here are a few samples:
   When you just want to say no: “My week has been really busy.
   
   I think I need to take it easy tonight.
   
   Thanks though!” When you don’t want to hang out with a whole group: “Thanks for thinking of me, but I have to pass.
   
   Would you want to make some plans just for the two of us? I need a breather from group situations.
   
   When you aren’t up for it tonight, but still want to meet up another time: “This sounds like so much fun! Would it be possible to get a rain check?” When you really don't want their friendship anymore: "I don't know how to say this, but I just don't think we really mesh with each other.
   
   I'm going to put this friendship on the back burner for a while."
   
   Any time you ask a friend for space, you run the risk of making them feel unwanted.
   
   If this is a friendship you want to hold on to, you can minimize these feelings by offering an alternative.If you are not up for going someplace really public, maybe you would be okay with just handing out together at home? If you really just need to be alone right now, maybe you could make plans for next week? If you need space for quite a while, maybe you would be okay with just texting once or twice a week? , All relationships involve give and take.
   
   If this is a friendship you'd like to preserve, think about your friend’s needs as you assert your own need for space.
   
   If they need reassurance or attention to feel happy, perhaps you could agree to check in with them.
   
   Perhaps if they realize they have a need for reassurance and attention, they could get that need met in some other way while you recharge.
   
   There is almost always some way for you to both have your needs satisfied. , Whatever you do, don’t fabricate a lie to get out of hanging out.
   
   It is perfectly normal to want space.
   
   It is nothing to be ashamed of or to be sorry about, so there is no reason to lie.
   
   It won’t make you feel good and you won’t enjoy the space you receive.
   
   It is likely your friend will find out anyway!
3. 3

   Step 3: Offer an alternative.

4. 4

   Step 4: Consider their needs.

5. 5

   Step 5: Avoid lying.

Detailed Guide

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