How to Tell Someone You Do Not Want to Be Friends

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Schedule a time to meet in person.

   Send her a text or an email to ask her to meet you in a neutral location.
   
   If you live in the same town, this is the best way to have the conversation about not being friends.If she asks you what you want to talk about, say something vague.
   
   For example, you might say, "I just want to share some recent decisions with you." If she persists, remind her that you'd rather talk about it in person.
   
   If your friend lives out of town, send an email or text to schedule a time to talk on the phone.
   
   Obviously, in person is best, but if you live in different parts of the country this may not be an option.
   
   Be aware that written words can easily be misinterpreted.
   
   This is one reason why talking directly to the other person, even though it's hard, is best.
2. 2

   Step 2: Be prepared.

   You may have been wanting to free yourself from this friendship for a while, but when you meet with your friend, you'll need to be clear on the reasons why you're ending the friendship.If you need to tell them what they've done that's contributed to your decision, think about how you can phrase this as kindly and gently as possible.
   
   You might not want them to know why you're ending things, and that's fine.
   
   It's okay to be vague, or to use phrases like, "Things have changed for me..." Don't feel like you have to justify your decision, or defend it. , She may be upset or angry when she hears your news.
   
   Or, she may want to try to repair the friendship.
   
   You should decide ahead of time whether you'll be open to working on the friendship, or whether your decision is final.If she gets angry, you'll need to be prepared to take care of yourself.
   
   You don't need to make a scene
   - it's fine to simply walk away.
   
   Unless you've decided that you're open to repairing the friendship, keep it short.
   
   You don't have to help take care of her until she feels better.
   
   Simply state what you've decided, and tell her it's time for you both to move on.
   
   Don't get involved in debating whether or not you're right or wrong. , If you've been friends a long time, chances are you share other friends with each other.
   
   These friends may be forced to "choose sides" between you and your former friend.Avoid the temptation to tell all your friends what your ex-friend did that caused you to end the friendship.
   
   Try not to feel like you have to defend your decision to your friends, because it will only further the bad situation. , Explain that it was just your decision.
   
   Your good friends may understand your reasons without additional explanation.Your mutual friends may also try to make you return to the friendship.
   
   If this is the case, redirect the conversation.
   
   Remind your friends that you're just trying to move on.
   
   Don't try to turn anyone against your ex-friend.
   
   If you lose friends because of your decision, they probably weren't good friends anyway. , Don't dwell on the decision to end your friendship
   - what's done is done.
   
   You made the best decision you could, if you were thoughtful.
   
   Now you don't have to think about it anymore.
   
   Rehashing the choices you made, or defending your decision (even if only to yourself!) only extends the process.It might feel strange to not have your friend in your life anymore, but you will survive.
   
   Make sure to spend time with other friends.
   
   Try doing new things, and going new places with your other friends. , Eat well, get enough rest, and do things you enjoy.Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and remember that ending a friendship might involve some grief.Focusing on the positive parts of your life
   - the things you enjoy about the way your life is now
   - can help keep you from feeling sad about your lost friendship.
   
   If you find yourself falling into negative thoughts, practice turning your thoughts to something more positive.
3. 3

   Step 3: Remember that your decision may surprise your friend.

4. 4

   Step 4: Know that there may be fallout.

5. 5

   Step 5: Don't talk about anything your ex-friend has done.

6. 6

   Step 6: Move on.

7. 7

   Step 7: Practice self-care.

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