How to Tell Your Friend You Are Gay or Lesbian and Like Them Without Them Freaking Out
Timing., Privacy., Sit down and explain it calmly., Listen to your friend., Give them space., Accept the fact that it may take time, or may not end well.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Timing.
Seriously.
Blurting it out right after they've had a bad day is not the best thing to do, but neither is putting it off until another day ... and another day ... and another day ...
Choose a moment when you all have a little time to spend to talk it out, and approach the issue seriously
- don't just open your mouth and blab. -
Step 2: Privacy.
Another important point.
Telling a friend in front of a bunch of other people isn't clever.
Find somewhere private, just you two. , Ask him or her to hear you out before any comments are made. , After all, this is your friend we're discussing, so don't forget to listen.
Your friend might have had some suspicions, or might be freaked out.
Whatever the reaction is, remember that you have had the chance to say your piece.
Now it's your turn to let your friend respond to what you've said.
Even if the reaction is bad at first, listen calmly and allow your friend to say what's on his or her mind without interruption. , It may be a big shock for your friends, so give them space.
Allow a day or two to pass, then approach them again, and ask (calmly, as usual) if they've had time to think, and whether you can talk some more about it. , Your friends are your age, and if you've realized you're gay at a young age (pre-18), your friends may have some trouble coming to grips with it at first.
Some may not get over their initial negative reaction for quite a while.
Continue to be nice, friendly and open
- don't be whiny, overly insistent, or creepy
- don't stalk them constantly.
If your friends have some trouble accepting you right away, just leave them be.
If they don't come around, at least you know the truth about them
- they were friends as long as it was easy and at the first sign of any difference between you, they bailed out.
That's okay.
Find new friends. -
Step 3: Sit down and explain it calmly.
-
Step 4: Listen to your friend.
-
Step 5: Give them space.
-
Step 6: Accept the fact that it may take time
-
Step 7: or may not end well.
Detailed Guide
Seriously.
Blurting it out right after they've had a bad day is not the best thing to do, but neither is putting it off until another day ... and another day ... and another day ...
Choose a moment when you all have a little time to spend to talk it out, and approach the issue seriously
- don't just open your mouth and blab.
Another important point.
Telling a friend in front of a bunch of other people isn't clever.
Find somewhere private, just you two. , Ask him or her to hear you out before any comments are made. , After all, this is your friend we're discussing, so don't forget to listen.
Your friend might have had some suspicions, or might be freaked out.
Whatever the reaction is, remember that you have had the chance to say your piece.
Now it's your turn to let your friend respond to what you've said.
Even if the reaction is bad at first, listen calmly and allow your friend to say what's on his or her mind without interruption. , It may be a big shock for your friends, so give them space.
Allow a day or two to pass, then approach them again, and ask (calmly, as usual) if they've had time to think, and whether you can talk some more about it. , Your friends are your age, and if you've realized you're gay at a young age (pre-18), your friends may have some trouble coming to grips with it at first.
Some may not get over their initial negative reaction for quite a while.
Continue to be nice, friendly and open
- don't be whiny, overly insistent, or creepy
- don't stalk them constantly.
If your friends have some trouble accepting you right away, just leave them be.
If they don't come around, at least you know the truth about them
- they were friends as long as it was easy and at the first sign of any difference between you, they bailed out.
That's okay.
Find new friends.
About the Author
Elizabeth Graham
Writer and educator with a focus on practical hobbies knowledge.
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