How to Write a Letter to a Friend
Choose your stationery., Pick your pen., Find a suitable envelope., Get some stamps., Buy a gift (optional)., Buy a wax seal kit (optional)., Have a clear sense of what you want to write., Tailor your letter’s length to your friend’s tastes., Be...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Choose your stationery.
If you know that your friend loves colors and designs, consider using a stationery that matches their tastes.
If you think your friend won’t care either way, you can simply write your letter on some lined paper.
A lot of craft stores, department stores, and dollar stores carry different types of stationery.
You can even find sets with matching envelopes. -
Step 2: Pick your pen.
What you use will depend on your friend’s tastes, and your own.
A solid choice is a nice-quality blue- or black-ink pen that rolls smoothly across the page.
If your friend loves colors and designs, you might consider using a brightly colored pen.
You might even consider using a few different colors — for example, you could switch the color every few lines so that your words flow in all the colors of the rainbow.
If you want to make the letter seem old-fashioned, you could use a fountain pen and write in a fancier way than you normally do., Make sure you have an envelope that will fit your letter and anything else you may be sending.
If you’re sending anything other than paper, you might consider using a padded envelope. , You can purchase rolls of stamps at most shops (grocery stores, drugstores, the post office).
If you don’t send enough letters to buy a whole roll of stamps, you can purchase single stamps at the post office.
To find out how much it costs to send letters within your country, do a search online for “postage cost letter”.
If you are sending anything larger than a regular thin letter (a few pieces of paper), or you are sending something to an address outside of your country, go to the post office and have them weigh your letter to ensure that you have sufficient postage. , A letter is often enough of a gift in itself, but if you’re travelling or living in another country, you might want to send something small home for your friend — for example, a chocolate bar, keychain, or some photographs.
If you do include a gift in your letter, be sure to check the customs and postage laws of the country to which you’re sending the letter to ensure that you're not breaking any rules.
You can do this online or by asking at the post office. , To make your letter look extra fancy, you can close it with some sealing wax and a stamp.
You can purchase the metal stamps (called seals) and sealing wax in a variety of styles at craft stores and stationery shops.
Seals come in a variety of letters, shapes, and sizes.
You could choose a seal with your initial on it, or a star or a heart, for example.
Even if you’re using a wax seal, still seal the envelope using the regular method (licking or adhesive) just to make extra sure that it won’t open up while it’s in transit. , Are you writing just to update a friend about how life has been? Are you writing to apologize for a mistake you’ve made? Knowing the purpose of your letter before you write it will help you choose your words and structure so that your letter is as effective as possible. , Does your friend enjoy reading? Are you two quite talkative when you’re together, or is your friend more on the quiet side? Think about whether your friend would enjoy a long letter or a short one, and then measure your word length accordingly.
As an example, a friend who loves to hear details and doesn't mind wordiness might be excited to hear a detailed description of the party you went to on Saturday night.
A friend less keen on details, however, might be happy enough to hear about the general nature of the party, including who was there and any outstanding details that you know will pique his/her interests. , It may be tempting to be more formal when writing a letter, and this might even be funny if you think your friend will join in on the game.
In general, however, you should write in a conversational manner using your own voice.
You are engaging in a conversation with your friend — it’s just via a different medium than you may be used to (i.e. writing as opposed to speaking out loud).
Try to maintain a conversational tone.
To know whether you’re using your conversational voice, try reading your letter out loud before finalizing it.
If anything sounds weird as you say it out loud, change it. , Most letters begin with “Dear ”, or some variation on that.
If you want to be funny or old-fashioned, you might write “My dearest ”.
To be more casual, you could simply write, “Hello!” or your friend’s name followed by an exclamation point (“Chris!”).
The latter will express your excitement in writing to your friend. , After the greeting, don’t just jump right into talking about yourself.
Briefly acknowledge your friend before moving into your main purpose of writing.
One way to acknowledge your friend is to say something like, “I hope this message finds you well,” or “How are you?” , Exactly what you talk about will depend on the nature of the letter.
Perhaps you’re writing from overseas to share details of your holiday; maybe you’re sharing details of your day-to-day life at home; or maybe you’ve had an argument and are seeking a resolution.
An example of how to start a letter from home: “Dear Chris, I hope this message finds you well.
Things have been good here and although I haven’t anything very exciting to report, I figured I’d send you something anyway since it's been a while.
I sure miss you.
I was watching American Idol the other day (the auditions, our favourite part) and this guy sang ‘I will always love you’ and it was so terrible.
You would have loved it.
Maybe you even saw it!? …” If the letter is regarding a dispute, you may not end up talking about yourself right away.
The order of your thoughts might be something like, “Dear Chris, I hope this message finds you well.
I’ve been thinking a lot since reading your last letter.
Before I respond to your concerns, I want you to know how important you are to me, and how thankful I am that we are trying to work through this. …” , This is particularly important if you’re trying to resolve a dispute with a friend.
Remember that tone of voice, though obvious when spoken out loud, doesn’t clearly translate to written words.
Make sure that your tone is as clear as possible by carefully choosing the words you use and avoiding sarcasm.
Do: “I’m grateful that we’re communicating again.
I’ve missed you.” Don’t: “What a bummer that we’re talking again.
I haven’t missed you at all!” (Unless you’re sure your friend will get your sarcasm, avoid it.) , Once you’ve talked about yourself and/or your feelings for a while, switch your focus to your friend.
Follow up on things that your friend has told you, and ask for new information.
Example: “Last time you wrote you said you’d gone to the doctor with stomach problems.
Did you hear back from the doctor yet? Are you feeling any better? I hope you are.” Example: “Well that was a lot about me.
What’s new with you? Are you still enjoying work? Any new gossip?” , If you and your friend are writing long letters to each other, it’s possible that you’ll forget some of the things you’ve talked about.
If you’re responding to specific things that your friend wrote in his/her letter, consider quoting from it and responding underneath.
As an example, you might tell them, “I’m going to note parts of your letter and then respond to them.
The stuff in quotation marks is you!” and then write something like “Re: ‘I hate the new character in XYZ TV show.
So boring!’ I know!!!! He’s the worst.
What’s up with that catch phrase? They couldn't come up with anything better??” , Don’t end your letter abruptly once you've written everything you want to write.
Wind it down with a sentence or two.
How you close it will depend on the nature of the letter.
Example (if you’re on holiday): “It’s been a lot of fun but it’d be even more fun if you were here.
I’m looking forward to seeing you once I get home!” Example (if it’s a dispute): “I know we’re in a tough patch now but I want you to know that I care about you and am grateful that we’re working through this.” , After your closing sentence(s), add a sign-off followed by a comma.
There are myriad sign-offs with which you can close a letter:
Sincerely, Yours truly, With love, Love and hugs, Miss you, Kisses, and All of my love are some examples.If you want to get more clever and funny, you might sign off with a prepositional phrase or by renaming yourself: “With respect and good wishes” (prepositional) or “Your insane but loving friend” (renaming yourself)., Beneath your sign-off, sign your name.
You can print it out or use your signature, either is fine.
Example:
Sincerely, Pat Smith. , If you want to make your letter look a bit more formal, give it a traditional format.
Various formats exist, but here’s a common one:
Place the date at the top right-hand corner of the page, then your friend’s name and address a few spaces down on the left side of the page before moving on to your greeting (e.g., “Dear Chris”) and the body of your letter.
Once the letter is finished, sign it with your closing words (e.g., Sincerely, Yours Truly, With Love) on the left-hand side of the page, followed by your handwritten name just below it, on the same side of the page. , If you intend to write your letter on expensive stationery, write a draft of it on your computer or on some inexpensive lined paper beforehand.
The goal is to have a final draft that is free of mistakes or any signs of mistakes (such as correction fluid or eraser marks).
Once you’re happy with your draft, then you can copy it on to the fancy stationery (or new lined paper, if that's what you're using).
Writing a practise letter will also help you judge how much stationery you’ll need and ensure that you don’t run out of pages or space mid-letter.
If you're only writing your letter on lined paper, this step isn’t totally necessary, although it’s still useful since it’ll help keep your final version looking clean and polished. , Once you’ve finished writing your letter, take a break from it for at least a couple of hours.
This is particularly important if you’re writing a letter to try to resolve a dispute with a friend, as it will give you time to cool off and avoid saying anything you regret. , After taking a break, return to your letter with fresh eyes and check it for any grammatical or spelling errors.
If you’re short on time, you might start by typing the letter out into a text document and then running a spellcheck on it.
You’ll also want to check your letter to ensure that everything you say makes sense.
Remember that your tone of voice can be difficult to translate via writing, so be careful that what you say is clear and cannot be misread.
Spellcheck programs are notoriously inaccurate, but if you have no time to properly edit your letter, a spellcheck will at least draw your eyes to any obvious mistakes you may have missed. , Once you’ve finalized what you want to say and are sure that there are no grammatical or spelling errors in it, write the final copy of your letter.
Go slowly to ensure that you faithfully copy your draft without making any errors.
If you’re using fancy stationery, now’s the time to use it! , If you’re feeling particularly creative and/or you think your friend might like it, add some drawings or stickers to your letter. , Most envelopes have an adhesive strip along their flap.
Some of these strips are self-adhesive (i.e. already sticky), while others may require you to lick them.
To seal the envelope, ensure that the adhesive stick is sticky (either by licking it, gluing it or pulling the cover off of it if it’s self-adhesive) and then close the flap.
Place the envelope on a hard surface and run your fingers along the flap to ensure that the envelope is fully sealed and that there are no bubbles or gaps between the flap and the rest of the envelope. , It should include your friend’s first and last name, the house number and street, the suite number (if it’s an apartment), the city, the state, and the zip code (known as the postal code in some other countries).
Check in your address book or wherever you’ve written down your friend’s address to ensure that you’ve copied the address on to the envelope correctly.
If your friend is living in another country, be sure to include the name of the country in the address.
Example:
Chris Smith, 5555 N Genesee Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90046 (add USA here if you’re writing from a different country) , Format your address the same as you formatted your friend’s: first and last name, house number and street name, city, state, and zip/postal code.
Just to be extra clear, you can write To: and From: in front of yours and your friend’s names.
For example:
To:
Chris Smith, 5555 N Genesee Ave etc., From:
Pat Smith, 555 Ocean Ave., Amityville, NY
11701. , If you’re just sending a standard-sized letter within the same country, you’ll likely only need one stamp.If you’re including anything else in the letter or it’s extra thick, go to the post office and have it weighed before sending it.
If you don't have sufficient postage, your letter will either be returned to you or worse, your friend will have to pay your postage fees when they receive your letter., Once you know how much postage is required, stick the necessary stamp (or stamps) on to the top right-hand corner of the envelope. , In the U.S. you can post a letter by placing it in your mail box and putting the red flag up to let your mail person know that you’d like to send a letter.
You can also drop your letter off at the post office, drop it into a blue collection box, or schedule a pickup.Not all countries have at-home pickup services.
In many countries you will need to drop your letter off at the post office or into a collection box.
To find out what options are available to you, do an online search of your country’s name plus “send mail post office”. , How long it takes for your friend to receive the letter will depend on where they live and the class of your letter.
A first-class letter will arrive more quickly than a second-class one.
It costs more to send a first-class letter than it does to send a second-class one, but sometimes it’s only a small difference, so it’s definitely worth asking! USPS (United States Postal Service) lists the average time to deliver a first-class standard letter as 1 to 3 business days.
First-class is very affordable for a standard letter (starting at $0.49 in 2015), and it does not appear that USPS offers a second-class method for letters.Costs and delivery times will vary depending on where you live, where you’re sending the letter, and how much the letter weighs, but an average cost would be between $1.20 and $3.50 USD. -
Step 3: Find a suitable envelope.
-
Step 4: Get some stamps.
-
Step 5: Buy a gift (optional).
-
Step 6: Buy a wax seal kit (optional).
-
Step 7: Have a clear sense of what you want to write.
-
Step 8: Tailor your letter’s length to your friend’s tastes.
-
Step 9: Be yourself.
-
Step 10: Start with a greeting.
-
Step 11: Acknowledge your reader.
-
Step 12: Move on to the general body of the letter.
-
Step 13: Be respectful and sincere.
-
Step 14: Turn the discussion to your friend.
-
Step 15: Quote from your friend’s letter.
-
Step 16: Draw your letter to a close.
-
Step 17: Sign off.
-
Step 18: Sign your name.
-
Step 19: Know how to format your letter.
-
Step 20: Write a practise letter.
-
Step 21: Take a break.
-
Step 22: Edit your letter.
-
Step 23: Write your final letter.
-
Step 24: Decorate the letter (optional).
-
Step 25: Fold your letter and seal it inside an envelope.
-
Step 26: Write your friend’s address in the middle of the front of the envelope.
-
Step 27: Add your address to the top left corner of the envelope.
-
Step 28: Ensure that you have sufficient postage.
-
Step 29: Put a stamp on the envelope.
-
Step 30: Post the letter.
-
Step 31: Wait for the letter to arrive at your friend’s house.
Detailed Guide
If you know that your friend loves colors and designs, consider using a stationery that matches their tastes.
If you think your friend won’t care either way, you can simply write your letter on some lined paper.
A lot of craft stores, department stores, and dollar stores carry different types of stationery.
You can even find sets with matching envelopes.
What you use will depend on your friend’s tastes, and your own.
A solid choice is a nice-quality blue- or black-ink pen that rolls smoothly across the page.
If your friend loves colors and designs, you might consider using a brightly colored pen.
You might even consider using a few different colors — for example, you could switch the color every few lines so that your words flow in all the colors of the rainbow.
If you want to make the letter seem old-fashioned, you could use a fountain pen and write in a fancier way than you normally do., Make sure you have an envelope that will fit your letter and anything else you may be sending.
If you’re sending anything other than paper, you might consider using a padded envelope. , You can purchase rolls of stamps at most shops (grocery stores, drugstores, the post office).
If you don’t send enough letters to buy a whole roll of stamps, you can purchase single stamps at the post office.
To find out how much it costs to send letters within your country, do a search online for “postage cost letter”.
If you are sending anything larger than a regular thin letter (a few pieces of paper), or you are sending something to an address outside of your country, go to the post office and have them weigh your letter to ensure that you have sufficient postage. , A letter is often enough of a gift in itself, but if you’re travelling or living in another country, you might want to send something small home for your friend — for example, a chocolate bar, keychain, or some photographs.
If you do include a gift in your letter, be sure to check the customs and postage laws of the country to which you’re sending the letter to ensure that you're not breaking any rules.
You can do this online or by asking at the post office. , To make your letter look extra fancy, you can close it with some sealing wax and a stamp.
You can purchase the metal stamps (called seals) and sealing wax in a variety of styles at craft stores and stationery shops.
Seals come in a variety of letters, shapes, and sizes.
You could choose a seal with your initial on it, or a star or a heart, for example.
Even if you’re using a wax seal, still seal the envelope using the regular method (licking or adhesive) just to make extra sure that it won’t open up while it’s in transit. , Are you writing just to update a friend about how life has been? Are you writing to apologize for a mistake you’ve made? Knowing the purpose of your letter before you write it will help you choose your words and structure so that your letter is as effective as possible. , Does your friend enjoy reading? Are you two quite talkative when you’re together, or is your friend more on the quiet side? Think about whether your friend would enjoy a long letter or a short one, and then measure your word length accordingly.
As an example, a friend who loves to hear details and doesn't mind wordiness might be excited to hear a detailed description of the party you went to on Saturday night.
A friend less keen on details, however, might be happy enough to hear about the general nature of the party, including who was there and any outstanding details that you know will pique his/her interests. , It may be tempting to be more formal when writing a letter, and this might even be funny if you think your friend will join in on the game.
In general, however, you should write in a conversational manner using your own voice.
You are engaging in a conversation with your friend — it’s just via a different medium than you may be used to (i.e. writing as opposed to speaking out loud).
Try to maintain a conversational tone.
To know whether you’re using your conversational voice, try reading your letter out loud before finalizing it.
If anything sounds weird as you say it out loud, change it. , Most letters begin with “Dear ”, or some variation on that.
If you want to be funny or old-fashioned, you might write “My dearest ”.
To be more casual, you could simply write, “Hello!” or your friend’s name followed by an exclamation point (“Chris!”).
The latter will express your excitement in writing to your friend. , After the greeting, don’t just jump right into talking about yourself.
Briefly acknowledge your friend before moving into your main purpose of writing.
One way to acknowledge your friend is to say something like, “I hope this message finds you well,” or “How are you?” , Exactly what you talk about will depend on the nature of the letter.
Perhaps you’re writing from overseas to share details of your holiday; maybe you’re sharing details of your day-to-day life at home; or maybe you’ve had an argument and are seeking a resolution.
An example of how to start a letter from home: “Dear Chris, I hope this message finds you well.
Things have been good here and although I haven’t anything very exciting to report, I figured I’d send you something anyway since it's been a while.
I sure miss you.
I was watching American Idol the other day (the auditions, our favourite part) and this guy sang ‘I will always love you’ and it was so terrible.
You would have loved it.
Maybe you even saw it!? …” If the letter is regarding a dispute, you may not end up talking about yourself right away.
The order of your thoughts might be something like, “Dear Chris, I hope this message finds you well.
I’ve been thinking a lot since reading your last letter.
Before I respond to your concerns, I want you to know how important you are to me, and how thankful I am that we are trying to work through this. …” , This is particularly important if you’re trying to resolve a dispute with a friend.
Remember that tone of voice, though obvious when spoken out loud, doesn’t clearly translate to written words.
Make sure that your tone is as clear as possible by carefully choosing the words you use and avoiding sarcasm.
Do: “I’m grateful that we’re communicating again.
I’ve missed you.” Don’t: “What a bummer that we’re talking again.
I haven’t missed you at all!” (Unless you’re sure your friend will get your sarcasm, avoid it.) , Once you’ve talked about yourself and/or your feelings for a while, switch your focus to your friend.
Follow up on things that your friend has told you, and ask for new information.
Example: “Last time you wrote you said you’d gone to the doctor with stomach problems.
Did you hear back from the doctor yet? Are you feeling any better? I hope you are.” Example: “Well that was a lot about me.
What’s new with you? Are you still enjoying work? Any new gossip?” , If you and your friend are writing long letters to each other, it’s possible that you’ll forget some of the things you’ve talked about.
If you’re responding to specific things that your friend wrote in his/her letter, consider quoting from it and responding underneath.
As an example, you might tell them, “I’m going to note parts of your letter and then respond to them.
The stuff in quotation marks is you!” and then write something like “Re: ‘I hate the new character in XYZ TV show.
So boring!’ I know!!!! He’s the worst.
What’s up with that catch phrase? They couldn't come up with anything better??” , Don’t end your letter abruptly once you've written everything you want to write.
Wind it down with a sentence or two.
How you close it will depend on the nature of the letter.
Example (if you’re on holiday): “It’s been a lot of fun but it’d be even more fun if you were here.
I’m looking forward to seeing you once I get home!” Example (if it’s a dispute): “I know we’re in a tough patch now but I want you to know that I care about you and am grateful that we’re working through this.” , After your closing sentence(s), add a sign-off followed by a comma.
There are myriad sign-offs with which you can close a letter:
Sincerely, Yours truly, With love, Love and hugs, Miss you, Kisses, and All of my love are some examples.If you want to get more clever and funny, you might sign off with a prepositional phrase or by renaming yourself: “With respect and good wishes” (prepositional) or “Your insane but loving friend” (renaming yourself)., Beneath your sign-off, sign your name.
You can print it out or use your signature, either is fine.
Example:
Sincerely, Pat Smith. , If you want to make your letter look a bit more formal, give it a traditional format.
Various formats exist, but here’s a common one:
Place the date at the top right-hand corner of the page, then your friend’s name and address a few spaces down on the left side of the page before moving on to your greeting (e.g., “Dear Chris”) and the body of your letter.
Once the letter is finished, sign it with your closing words (e.g., Sincerely, Yours Truly, With Love) on the left-hand side of the page, followed by your handwritten name just below it, on the same side of the page. , If you intend to write your letter on expensive stationery, write a draft of it on your computer or on some inexpensive lined paper beforehand.
The goal is to have a final draft that is free of mistakes or any signs of mistakes (such as correction fluid or eraser marks).
Once you’re happy with your draft, then you can copy it on to the fancy stationery (or new lined paper, if that's what you're using).
Writing a practise letter will also help you judge how much stationery you’ll need and ensure that you don’t run out of pages or space mid-letter.
If you're only writing your letter on lined paper, this step isn’t totally necessary, although it’s still useful since it’ll help keep your final version looking clean and polished. , Once you’ve finished writing your letter, take a break from it for at least a couple of hours.
This is particularly important if you’re writing a letter to try to resolve a dispute with a friend, as it will give you time to cool off and avoid saying anything you regret. , After taking a break, return to your letter with fresh eyes and check it for any grammatical or spelling errors.
If you’re short on time, you might start by typing the letter out into a text document and then running a spellcheck on it.
You’ll also want to check your letter to ensure that everything you say makes sense.
Remember that your tone of voice can be difficult to translate via writing, so be careful that what you say is clear and cannot be misread.
Spellcheck programs are notoriously inaccurate, but if you have no time to properly edit your letter, a spellcheck will at least draw your eyes to any obvious mistakes you may have missed. , Once you’ve finalized what you want to say and are sure that there are no grammatical or spelling errors in it, write the final copy of your letter.
Go slowly to ensure that you faithfully copy your draft without making any errors.
If you’re using fancy stationery, now’s the time to use it! , If you’re feeling particularly creative and/or you think your friend might like it, add some drawings or stickers to your letter. , Most envelopes have an adhesive strip along their flap.
Some of these strips are self-adhesive (i.e. already sticky), while others may require you to lick them.
To seal the envelope, ensure that the adhesive stick is sticky (either by licking it, gluing it or pulling the cover off of it if it’s self-adhesive) and then close the flap.
Place the envelope on a hard surface and run your fingers along the flap to ensure that the envelope is fully sealed and that there are no bubbles or gaps between the flap and the rest of the envelope. , It should include your friend’s first and last name, the house number and street, the suite number (if it’s an apartment), the city, the state, and the zip code (known as the postal code in some other countries).
Check in your address book or wherever you’ve written down your friend’s address to ensure that you’ve copied the address on to the envelope correctly.
If your friend is living in another country, be sure to include the name of the country in the address.
Example:
Chris Smith, 5555 N Genesee Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90046 (add USA here if you’re writing from a different country) , Format your address the same as you formatted your friend’s: first and last name, house number and street name, city, state, and zip/postal code.
Just to be extra clear, you can write To: and From: in front of yours and your friend’s names.
For example:
To:
Chris Smith, 5555 N Genesee Ave etc., From:
Pat Smith, 555 Ocean Ave., Amityville, NY
11701. , If you’re just sending a standard-sized letter within the same country, you’ll likely only need one stamp.If you’re including anything else in the letter or it’s extra thick, go to the post office and have it weighed before sending it.
If you don't have sufficient postage, your letter will either be returned to you or worse, your friend will have to pay your postage fees when they receive your letter., Once you know how much postage is required, stick the necessary stamp (or stamps) on to the top right-hand corner of the envelope. , In the U.S. you can post a letter by placing it in your mail box and putting the red flag up to let your mail person know that you’d like to send a letter.
You can also drop your letter off at the post office, drop it into a blue collection box, or schedule a pickup.Not all countries have at-home pickup services.
In many countries you will need to drop your letter off at the post office or into a collection box.
To find out what options are available to you, do an online search of your country’s name plus “send mail post office”. , How long it takes for your friend to receive the letter will depend on where they live and the class of your letter.
A first-class letter will arrive more quickly than a second-class one.
It costs more to send a first-class letter than it does to send a second-class one, but sometimes it’s only a small difference, so it’s definitely worth asking! USPS (United States Postal Service) lists the average time to deliver a first-class standard letter as 1 to 3 business days.
First-class is very affordable for a standard letter (starting at $0.49 in 2015), and it does not appear that USPS offers a second-class method for letters.Costs and delivery times will vary depending on where you live, where you’re sending the letter, and how much the letter weighs, but an average cost would be between $1.20 and $3.50 USD.
About the Author
Jessica Rogers
Brings years of experience writing about practical skills and related subjects.
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