How to React when a Companion Spends the Entire Time on Their Phone
Point out the issue you’re seeing., Use humor to diffuse the situation., Use the complaint sandwich technique.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Point out the issue you’re seeing.
Identify what your friend or partner is doing and let them know how it makes you feel.
It is easy to feel snubbed if your companion checks their phone rather than engaging with you.
That said, they may not even realize they are doing it.
Give your companion an opportunity to realize their mistake.You could say, “I noticed you’re scrolling through your phone.
That makes me feel like you’d rather not be at lunch right now.” Expressing concern can also be a subtle way to do this: “You’ve been looking at your email for a while.
Is everything okay?” -
Step 2: Use humor to diffuse the situation.
Shooting your companion a text message or giving them a phone call lets them know in a direct but funny way that you’d like their attention.
It brings into sharp focus that the purpose of a phone is to contact people who are not present.
With luck, you’ll both laugh and your friend will put their phone away.Send a text message saying, “Hey, I’m right here!” or “Want to hang out?” with a winky emoji.
Call them and say, “Oh, hi.
Do you come here often?” , People are usually more receptive to negative feedback if you deliver your complaint between two positive statements (a “complaint sandwich”).Start with a positive statement that will encourage your friend or partner to listen to you.
Deliver your complaint in an earnest way.
And then close with another positive or empathetic statement.To complain about your partner’s usage you might say, “I really appreciate how hard you work at the hospital.
Sometimes all the calls from your resident at night really interrupt our alone time together, though.
I love you so much.
Can we make a plan to meet your needs at work and mine at home?” To complain about your friend’s usage you might say, “I know it’s been a really difficult break up with John.
But your checking his Facebook page while I’m trying to have lunch with you is making me feel ignored.
Can we enjoy our sandwiches without our phones, and then talk through any difficult feelings you’re having?” -
Step 3: Use the complaint sandwich technique.
Detailed Guide
Identify what your friend or partner is doing and let them know how it makes you feel.
It is easy to feel snubbed if your companion checks their phone rather than engaging with you.
That said, they may not even realize they are doing it.
Give your companion an opportunity to realize their mistake.You could say, “I noticed you’re scrolling through your phone.
That makes me feel like you’d rather not be at lunch right now.” Expressing concern can also be a subtle way to do this: “You’ve been looking at your email for a while.
Is everything okay?”
Shooting your companion a text message or giving them a phone call lets them know in a direct but funny way that you’d like their attention.
It brings into sharp focus that the purpose of a phone is to contact people who are not present.
With luck, you’ll both laugh and your friend will put their phone away.Send a text message saying, “Hey, I’m right here!” or “Want to hang out?” with a winky emoji.
Call them and say, “Oh, hi.
Do you come here often?” , People are usually more receptive to negative feedback if you deliver your complaint between two positive statements (a “complaint sandwich”).Start with a positive statement that will encourage your friend or partner to listen to you.
Deliver your complaint in an earnest way.
And then close with another positive or empathetic statement.To complain about your partner’s usage you might say, “I really appreciate how hard you work at the hospital.
Sometimes all the calls from your resident at night really interrupt our alone time together, though.
I love you so much.
Can we make a plan to meet your needs at work and mine at home?” To complain about your friend’s usage you might say, “I know it’s been a really difficult break up with John.
But your checking his Facebook page while I’m trying to have lunch with you is making me feel ignored.
Can we enjoy our sandwiches without our phones, and then talk through any difficult feelings you’re having?”
About the Author
Catherine Alvarez
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in crafts and beyond.
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