How to Write Creepy Novels

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Observe creepy surroundings.

   Do you live near a cemetery or dark woods? Try walking around there at midnight with bare feet, carrying a candle.
   
   Bring along a notebook in case you get inspiration.
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   Step 2: Find a group of people who love zombies

   They will, most likely, teach you some great info about creepy novels. , Make sure they sell antique novels, such as an old copy of Dracula or Frankenstein.
   
   People like you will be attracted to the same place(s). , Try searching for stuff under 'suspense'
   
   'mystery'
   
   or 'horror'. ,,, For example, if you decided that you were going to write about when you got abducted and had intercourse with a female alien, think of words like 'green'
   
   'interesting'
   
   'blob'
   
   and 'foreign'.
   
   Use these words to create your title, such as "My Dinner Date With The Foreign Green Blob."
   
   Be sure the opening sentence grabs the attention of your target readers.
   
   If we were to write, "My Dinner Date With The Foreign Green Blob"
   
   our opening sentence would sound something like: "He kissed me and screamed out, 'Urgumbablappp! SHEEEEEEEEOUH!'" This immediately draws the reader in, making them want to read further. , For example, in "My Dinner Date With The Foreign Green Blob"
   
   the main character is King Flapshunaba from the Planet Volkenar who visits earth for one night only.
   
   During his stay, he meets the lovely Audrey Rosenthal of Kansas City, Kansas.
   
   The two make love in the spacecraft after enjoying a romantic dinner in the starlight. , For example, in "My Dinner Date With The Foreign Green Blob"
   
   Audrey Rosenthal is abducted by King Flapshunaba's brother, Prince Itchubadachako and traded as a sex slave in the outskirts of Uranus.
   
   Sad right? Sad, depressing endings are best for creepy novels. , You have finally completed your creepy novel! Chances are, no one is going to want to read the piece of crap that you wrote.
   
   Fear not, there are many strange people out there like us and you, who would love to read a sickening tale of aliens! Go back to your zombie group that wear trench coats, and pass it out.
   
   Hell, why don't you even start a book club! Education is key! Stay in school, kids. , For example, the sequel to "My Dinner Date With The Foreign Green Blob" could be titled, "My Life As An Extraterrestrial Prostitute"
   
   where Audrey Rosenthal sneaks out of the sex slave shop, but begins to sell herself for money, because she is so used to foreign sex.
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   Step 3: giant bugs

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   Step 4: or horny french people

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   Step 5: and hang out with them for a while.

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   Step 6: Loiter outside of an old bookstore on the outskirts of town.

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   Step 7: Buy books in the 'creepy' genre.

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   Step 8: If you have a backyard or a porch

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   Step 9: try staying outside and staring up at the sky in case you see any UFOs flying by.

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    Step 10: If you have ever been abducted/had a conversation with extraterrestrial life

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    Step 11: use this as 'inspiration' or perhaps

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    Step 12: write a story about your experience.

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    Step 13: When you begin to write your creepy novel

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    Step 14: think of words that go with your theme.

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    Step 15: Once you have figured out a title

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    Step 16: be prepared to start writing an introduction to your creepy novel.

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    Step 17: Once you've written the introduction

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    Step 18: start writing the details of the story and outlining your characters.

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    Step 19: Once you have written down most of the novel

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    Step 20: begin formulating ideas on how to end your lovely

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    Step 21: creepy novel.

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    Step 22: Congratulations!

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    Step 23: If your book was unusually successful

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    Step 24: consider writing a sequel.

Detailed Guide

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