How to Handle Insecurity After Your Spouse Cheats

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Work on your self-esteem.

   Realize that your spouse’s infidelity does not mean you deserve to be cheated on or disrespected.
   
   You deserve dignity and fairness in your relationships, and it’s not your fault that your spouse decided to stray behind your back.Build yourself back up by reminding yourself of your positive qualities and achievements.
   
   Try making a list of all of your positive qualities.
   
   These can be anything from being a loyal friend to knowing how to play the guitar to graduating from college.
   
   Write down all of your positive qualities and review this list often.
   
   If you are having trouble thinking of things to add, then ask a trusted friend or family member to help you.
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   Step 2: Deal with intrusive thoughts.

   You may sometimes find yourself dwelling on worries about whether or not your spouse is going to cheat again.
   
   These thoughts can be disruptive, so it is important to learn how to recognize them and redirect your attention when they occur.
   
   Try to replace an intrusive thought about your spouse cheating with a positive one.
   
   For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I know my spouse is going to cheat on me again and there’s nothing I can do to stop it!” then you might replace this thought with something like, “I am doing everything I can to recover from my spouse’s infidelity and I am proud of all of my hard work and progress.”, Focus on the basics of good nutrition, sleep, and exercise.
   
   Dealing with a difficult issue like infidelity is more manageable when your physical needs are taken care of.Self-care activities like meditation and writing in a journal can be good for your emotional health.
   
   Avoid turning to alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms for comfort.
   
   You might feel better temporarily, but these substances will make your long-term problems worse. , Carve out a few hours a week to devote to an activity you enjoy, or pick up a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
   
   Spending time developing a skill or exercising your creativity can help you feel more emotionally self-sufficient.
   
   Try starting a reading habit, learning a craft like knitting, or taking a class on something that interests you. , When you share your life with someone, it can be easy to let them dictate your emotions.
   
   Remember that you’re a whole person on your own, and you’re capable of finding happiness outside of your relationships.Try using visual imagery to put this into perspective.
   
   For example, when your spouse becomes depressed or angry, imagine that they have just gotten on a roller coaster and you are standing on the side watching them ride.
   
   The roller coaster represents the emotions they are feeling, but you do not have to ride this ride with them. , Self-esteem and trust issues may arise after learning that your spouse was unfaithful.
   
   Just as it can be helpful to seek help as a couple, you may also benefit from talking to a professional on your own.You might choose individual counseling as a tool to help you restore your confidence and heal after being cheated on if you do not want to work on the marriage.
   
   Your therapist can serve as a source of support and guidance as you navigate the decision to divorce.
   
   It may also help to join a support group for spouses who have experienced infidelity.
   
   Sharing your story and hearing that of others can ultimately help you heal. , It is entirely up to you how you choose to move forward after suffering from infidelity in your marriage.
   
   Perhaps if your spouse appears to be a serial cheater, or your trust cannot be mended, you might choose to divorce.
   
   Divorce is never an easy choice; yet, it is one that you should make only after discussing the ordeal with your spouse and various supportive loved ones.A therapist can help you decide what is best for your future (and your children’s, if you have any).
   
   This professional may also assist you in having the discussion with your spouse, family members, and children.
   
   Take plenty of time to think through your options and make your decision.
   
   Even if other people advise you to act quickly, take as much time as you need to make this decision.
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   Step 3: Take care of your health.

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   Step 4: Cultivate hobbies that are unrelated to your relationship.

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   Step 5: Avoid letting your happiness depend entirely on others.

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   Step 6: Seek individual counseling.

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   Step 7: Move on

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   Step 8: if you choose.

Detailed Guide

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