How to Cheer up a Sad Child
Ask him about his problems., Don't downplay how he's feeling., Talk about your own sad feelings.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Ask him about his problems.
If your child is sad, you're probably feeling concerned.
Sad children may cry, pout, act disengaged, or generally act abnormal, which can be very alarming to a parent.
There are many reasons why your child might be sad, so start by asking your child about what's bothering him.
Don't shy away from talking about troubling situations.
If there's a death, divorce, or separation in the family, acknowledge it and answer any questions your child might have.Some children have a hard time putting their feelings into words.
Be patient, and keep asking until you get a sense of what's wrong.
If your child doesn't know how to talk about what's wrong, use a game of 20-questions (with "warmer" or "colder" responses) to narrow down what's bothering him.If you suspect you know why your child is sad, ask prompting questions to get him to talk about it.
For example, you might say something like, "It sounds like you're sad that Timmy moved away," or "I bet it hurt your feelings when Billy wouldn't sit with you." -
Step 2: Don't downplay how he's feeling.
If your child is experiencing something troubling, it's important to make him feel that his emotions are being validated.
This starts with how you initiate conversations with your child and carries through to how you respond when he tells you what's wrong.
Let your child talk about whatever is bothering him.
Even if it's something that's difficult for you to tell him about, it's important that you listen and respond honestly and affectionately.Never tell a child (or anyone, for that matter) to "snap out of it," "cheer up," or "pull yourself together." Saying these things can send a message to your child that his feelings don't matter.Similarly, never tell your child that his situation "isn't so bad"
- that may be true from your adult perspective, but to your child, feeling abandoned by his friend at lunch could be a crushing loss.
Recognize that many sad children also experience coexisting emotions, like anger or fear.
Be patient and try to talk your child down if he's feeling scared or mad at someone. , Some children may not recognize that their parents get sad from time to time.
Many parents try to hide their own negative emotions to protect their children
- which is healthy to do sometimes, but not to the point that your child thinks you never feel sad.
Showing or talking about your own sadness can help your child realize that he isn't alone, and that it's okay to feel sad sometimes.Tell your child that it's okay to cry, and don't be afraid to cry in front of him sometimes.
Shield him or move him away from other kids so that no one calls him a "crybaby." Talk about times when you've been sad, and let your child know that you cry sometimes too. -
Step 3: Talk about your own sad feelings.
Detailed Guide
If your child is sad, you're probably feeling concerned.
Sad children may cry, pout, act disengaged, or generally act abnormal, which can be very alarming to a parent.
There are many reasons why your child might be sad, so start by asking your child about what's bothering him.
Don't shy away from talking about troubling situations.
If there's a death, divorce, or separation in the family, acknowledge it and answer any questions your child might have.Some children have a hard time putting their feelings into words.
Be patient, and keep asking until you get a sense of what's wrong.
If your child doesn't know how to talk about what's wrong, use a game of 20-questions (with "warmer" or "colder" responses) to narrow down what's bothering him.If you suspect you know why your child is sad, ask prompting questions to get him to talk about it.
For example, you might say something like, "It sounds like you're sad that Timmy moved away," or "I bet it hurt your feelings when Billy wouldn't sit with you."
If your child is experiencing something troubling, it's important to make him feel that his emotions are being validated.
This starts with how you initiate conversations with your child and carries through to how you respond when he tells you what's wrong.
Let your child talk about whatever is bothering him.
Even if it's something that's difficult for you to tell him about, it's important that you listen and respond honestly and affectionately.Never tell a child (or anyone, for that matter) to "snap out of it," "cheer up," or "pull yourself together." Saying these things can send a message to your child that his feelings don't matter.Similarly, never tell your child that his situation "isn't so bad"
- that may be true from your adult perspective, but to your child, feeling abandoned by his friend at lunch could be a crushing loss.
Recognize that many sad children also experience coexisting emotions, like anger or fear.
Be patient and try to talk your child down if he's feeling scared or mad at someone. , Some children may not recognize that their parents get sad from time to time.
Many parents try to hide their own negative emotions to protect their children
- which is healthy to do sometimes, but not to the point that your child thinks you never feel sad.
Showing or talking about your own sadness can help your child realize that he isn't alone, and that it's okay to feel sad sometimes.Tell your child that it's okay to cry, and don't be afraid to cry in front of him sometimes.
Shield him or move him away from other kids so that no one calls him a "crybaby." Talk about times when you've been sad, and let your child know that you cry sometimes too.
About the Author
Mark Hughes
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow cooking tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: