How to Manage Behavioral Problems in Gifted Children
Redirect problem behaviors., Assert your authority., Curb excessive talking., Recognize uneven development., Give your child emotional outlets., Address social difficulties., Address any limitations., Notice signs of boredom., Create challenges...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Redirect problem behaviors.
When gifted children have an outburst, make it a teachable moment.
Help them navigate their own feelings and gain resolution by themselves with your guidance.
Use redirection to help the child refocus onto something else.You can predict problem behaviors and address them before they happen.
For example, if your child has a hard time going off to school, give them warnings such as “In 20 minutes we’re getting in the car to go to school….
We are leaving in 10 minutes…” etc.
For example, if the child often becomes upset during activity transitions, say, “I know change can be hard.
What can we do to make it more fun? Can we skip to our next activity?” -
Step 2: Assert your authority.
The gifted child may be argumentative or manipulative.
When these behaviors occur, acknowledge the child’s argument yet be firm in your authority as an adult.
Even if the child presents a convincing argument, refer them to your house or school rules and state simply that there are no exceptions.For example, you can say, “I understand that you’re making a good point, however, it’s important to follow the house/school rules.” For more information, check out How to Avoid Arguments with Gifted Kids. , Your gifted child may want to tell you all about the books they read, the tv series they just finished, or their thoughts on a documentary.
Make time and listen to the child.
Engage with the child, ask questions, and make eye contact.
If the talking happens at inappropriate times (like while you’re working or on the phone), let the child know that you can speak later.
If the talking is truly out of hand, gently let the child know that many people don’t want to hear long summations of things.Tell the child, “Tell me more content with fewer words.” , Some gifted children may have sharp wits or well-developed vocabularies and excellent reasoning skills, yet may still behave emotionally as their peers.
One minute the child may be discussing politics, and the next moment they may cry over toys.
Recognize that with intelligence does not often come maturity and that the child is still a child.A gifted child may understand abstract ideas yet not be emotionally developed enough to deal with them.
This can lead to fears about death, sex, the future, or getting older. , While a gifted child’s mind may run a mile-a-minute, this may not give them time for their emotions to catch up.
This can lead to incredibly emotionally sensitive or underdeveloped children.Talk about feelings and label emotions as often as possible, as this can lead to emotional understanding and better coping.Say, “Wow, it looks like that girl made you sad” or, “I can see you feel upset when your brother takes your toy.” Talk about how to handle anger in public and at school.
Sometimes, life is not fair and it might make them feel angry.
Find healthy things that they can do while in these settings, such as go on a walk or sit in a quiet place.
Let your child deal with feelings.
If your child is angry, let them be angry.
If your child is sad, let them be sad.
Find an activity that helps your child express these emotions, such as punching a pillow, listening to music, or writing in a journal. , Some gifted children don’t know how to relate well to their peers, which can lead to problems at school or in making friends.
They might seek out older friends or get along better with the friends of their siblings.
While this is somewhat normal, encourage the child to make friends with their peers.
Find school activities (such as music or art) after-school activities (such as sports, martial arts, or cooking) that interest your child.Don’t put your child in an activity that you loved when you were their age, but choose one that interests them.
Remind the child that making and keeping friends means they don’t argue with every opinion that is different than theirs.
Enroll the child in a social skills group either at school or at a local mental health clinic as a way to teach and practice skills. , Sometimes, gifted children may have problems with fine motor or gross motor skills, leading to clumsiness and problems with holding a pencil or eating utensils.
This can lead to severe frustration and emotional outbursts.
Some children might have sensory problems and dislike certain sounds, fabrics, textures, tastes, or large groups of people.If your child has any of these problems, consider taking your child to get an evaluation through an occupational therapist.
An occupational therapist can help your child help the child to integrate their senses and build skills around their deficits., Some children act up when bored or not intellectually stimulated.
Especially if tasks are repetitive, the child may become bored and disinterested and look for interest elsewhere.
If the student is often bored, have some more complex tasks available for when the child completes the first tasks.
This can help motivate the child and keep their interest., If a child is uninterested or not engaged with a task, find a way to make it a challenge.
A gifted child may need challenges to feel motivated.If at home, create a point system for completing chores or finishing homework.
The child can then work toward certain goals (such as a toy or a movie) by completing the tasks.
At school, find ways to challenge the child and then providing rewards or verbal praise.
For example, to get a gifted child to complete a series of math problems, time them to see how many can get done in one minute, then see if they can beat that number in the next minute. , A gifted child may dominate group work or try to get the other students on board with all of their ideas.
They might not find it easy to interact with other classmates with differing opinions or ideas.Create opportunities for group work yet with some boundaries.
For example, maintain the same groups yet have different children lead activities, present, and share with the class.
Create activities for the child that break up repetition, or make a game of it. , If a gifted child challenges something you say in the classroom, don’t take it personally.
Often, the child is curious and not trying to undermine your authority.
As a teacher, you can choose whether to engage the comment or not.
You can also show that differing viewpoints are not necessarily ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, just different.You can say, “That’s another way to look at it.
Thanks for bringing that up.” -
Step 3: Curb excessive talking.
-
Step 4: Recognize uneven development.
-
Step 5: Give your child emotional outlets.
-
Step 6: Address social difficulties.
-
Step 7: Address any limitations.
-
Step 8: Notice signs of boredom.
-
Step 9: Create challenges.
-
Step 10: Practice group work.
-
Step 11: Remember that challenges aren’t personal.
Detailed Guide
When gifted children have an outburst, make it a teachable moment.
Help them navigate their own feelings and gain resolution by themselves with your guidance.
Use redirection to help the child refocus onto something else.You can predict problem behaviors and address them before they happen.
For example, if your child has a hard time going off to school, give them warnings such as “In 20 minutes we’re getting in the car to go to school….
We are leaving in 10 minutes…” etc.
For example, if the child often becomes upset during activity transitions, say, “I know change can be hard.
What can we do to make it more fun? Can we skip to our next activity?”
The gifted child may be argumentative or manipulative.
When these behaviors occur, acknowledge the child’s argument yet be firm in your authority as an adult.
Even if the child presents a convincing argument, refer them to your house or school rules and state simply that there are no exceptions.For example, you can say, “I understand that you’re making a good point, however, it’s important to follow the house/school rules.” For more information, check out How to Avoid Arguments with Gifted Kids. , Your gifted child may want to tell you all about the books they read, the tv series they just finished, or their thoughts on a documentary.
Make time and listen to the child.
Engage with the child, ask questions, and make eye contact.
If the talking happens at inappropriate times (like while you’re working or on the phone), let the child know that you can speak later.
If the talking is truly out of hand, gently let the child know that many people don’t want to hear long summations of things.Tell the child, “Tell me more content with fewer words.” , Some gifted children may have sharp wits or well-developed vocabularies and excellent reasoning skills, yet may still behave emotionally as their peers.
One minute the child may be discussing politics, and the next moment they may cry over toys.
Recognize that with intelligence does not often come maturity and that the child is still a child.A gifted child may understand abstract ideas yet not be emotionally developed enough to deal with them.
This can lead to fears about death, sex, the future, or getting older. , While a gifted child’s mind may run a mile-a-minute, this may not give them time for their emotions to catch up.
This can lead to incredibly emotionally sensitive or underdeveloped children.Talk about feelings and label emotions as often as possible, as this can lead to emotional understanding and better coping.Say, “Wow, it looks like that girl made you sad” or, “I can see you feel upset when your brother takes your toy.” Talk about how to handle anger in public and at school.
Sometimes, life is not fair and it might make them feel angry.
Find healthy things that they can do while in these settings, such as go on a walk or sit in a quiet place.
Let your child deal with feelings.
If your child is angry, let them be angry.
If your child is sad, let them be sad.
Find an activity that helps your child express these emotions, such as punching a pillow, listening to music, or writing in a journal. , Some gifted children don’t know how to relate well to their peers, which can lead to problems at school or in making friends.
They might seek out older friends or get along better with the friends of their siblings.
While this is somewhat normal, encourage the child to make friends with their peers.
Find school activities (such as music or art) after-school activities (such as sports, martial arts, or cooking) that interest your child.Don’t put your child in an activity that you loved when you were their age, but choose one that interests them.
Remind the child that making and keeping friends means they don’t argue with every opinion that is different than theirs.
Enroll the child in a social skills group either at school or at a local mental health clinic as a way to teach and practice skills. , Sometimes, gifted children may have problems with fine motor or gross motor skills, leading to clumsiness and problems with holding a pencil or eating utensils.
This can lead to severe frustration and emotional outbursts.
Some children might have sensory problems and dislike certain sounds, fabrics, textures, tastes, or large groups of people.If your child has any of these problems, consider taking your child to get an evaluation through an occupational therapist.
An occupational therapist can help your child help the child to integrate their senses and build skills around their deficits., Some children act up when bored or not intellectually stimulated.
Especially if tasks are repetitive, the child may become bored and disinterested and look for interest elsewhere.
If the student is often bored, have some more complex tasks available for when the child completes the first tasks.
This can help motivate the child and keep their interest., If a child is uninterested or not engaged with a task, find a way to make it a challenge.
A gifted child may need challenges to feel motivated.If at home, create a point system for completing chores or finishing homework.
The child can then work toward certain goals (such as a toy or a movie) by completing the tasks.
At school, find ways to challenge the child and then providing rewards or verbal praise.
For example, to get a gifted child to complete a series of math problems, time them to see how many can get done in one minute, then see if they can beat that number in the next minute. , A gifted child may dominate group work or try to get the other students on board with all of their ideas.
They might not find it easy to interact with other classmates with differing opinions or ideas.Create opportunities for group work yet with some boundaries.
For example, maintain the same groups yet have different children lead activities, present, and share with the class.
Create activities for the child that break up repetition, or make a game of it. , If a gifted child challenges something you say in the classroom, don’t take it personally.
Often, the child is curious and not trying to undermine your authority.
As a teacher, you can choose whether to engage the comment or not.
You can also show that differing viewpoints are not necessarily ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, just different.You can say, “That’s another way to look at it.
Thanks for bringing that up.”
About the Author
Mary Patel
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
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