How to Survive Moving Back in with Your Parents
Create a plan., Communicate your expectations., Give your parents an opportunity to share their expectations., Discuss the house rules., Be flexible with your musts., Make a plan beyond the time spent back at your parent's place., Use the time...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Create a plan.
Before you rent the moving truck, you need to have a plan—meaning, you have to look ahead and visualize what you want it to look like during your time there.
Do you want Mommy waking you up with scrambled eggs and bacon or would you prefer to wake to your alarm clock and blend a quick smoothie? If you are returning with your child, how involved do you want your parents to be in raising her? Do they have a say in his discipline? How long do you plan to stay? When will you know that it's time to leave? Asking yourself some real questions like these will help you to purposefully return to their home and prepare you to give your parents a clear picture of what to expect. -
Step 2: Communicate your expectations.
Now, that you have a clear image of what it looks like, you need to have a sit down with your parents.
Share the highlights of your vision with them.
For example: "I see myself staying here no more than two years." "I'll handle Sarah's discipline so if she's acting up, just let me know." And so forth. , Maybe they don't want you to have guests over after a certain time, or anticipate you'll pay room and board after your first few months.
Getting these things out in the open can eliminate the inevitable tension that comes from false expectations. , It is also very important to discuss the house rules.
It sounds weird, but it's very likely that the last time you lived in their house, you still had to follow your parents' rules. Without actually discussing it, they may naturally gravitate toward being "in charge." Maybe you still had a curfew or were expected to call when coming in late.
To avoid any misunderstandings, it is essential to express to your parents that although you are their "child," you are an adult, and that you are used to making your own rules.
Together, you can decide what a respectful adult relationship looks like in their home. , By the time you reach adulthood, you've will have somewhat of a grasp on what you like, what you don't, and what are necessities for you.
Now that you're no longer the "king" or "queen of your castle," some adjustments will likely need to be made.
Maybe you enjoy silent meditation on Saturday mornings, but your mom's book club meets at her house once a month.
On those days, maybe you can take a walk or plan to sit by the lake. It is also likely that your tastes differ from your parents.
Rather than come into their home making changes to suit your needs, maybe you can choose to decorate your room to match your tastes and leave it at that. , Start saving for moving on from the day you move in.
Having your own place again is probably a helpful goal to keep you motivated and happy as you "survive" the moving back in period.
Since a lack of finance is the most likely reason why you've moved back home, get budgeting advice as well, and try to stick to very strict spending rules so that you can save that rental or home deposit up for your future. , Moving back home is an awesome opportunity to regroup and start over.
See the blessing in it, not just the need to "survive." It's an opportunity to get to know your parents again, as an adult.
It's an opportunity to use this "safe haven" to fix the problems that drove you there in the first place.
It is also a safe place from which you can try new things in the hope of reorienting your choices in a more successful direction.
If you see the blessings in the time spent back at home, you'll find it far easier to survive this transition in your life. -
Step 3: Give your parents an opportunity to share their expectations.
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Step 4: Discuss the house rules.
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Step 5: Be flexible with your musts.
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Step 6: Make a plan beyond the time spent back at your parent's place.
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Step 7: Use the time wisely.
Detailed Guide
Before you rent the moving truck, you need to have a plan—meaning, you have to look ahead and visualize what you want it to look like during your time there.
Do you want Mommy waking you up with scrambled eggs and bacon or would you prefer to wake to your alarm clock and blend a quick smoothie? If you are returning with your child, how involved do you want your parents to be in raising her? Do they have a say in his discipline? How long do you plan to stay? When will you know that it's time to leave? Asking yourself some real questions like these will help you to purposefully return to their home and prepare you to give your parents a clear picture of what to expect.
Now, that you have a clear image of what it looks like, you need to have a sit down with your parents.
Share the highlights of your vision with them.
For example: "I see myself staying here no more than two years." "I'll handle Sarah's discipline so if she's acting up, just let me know." And so forth. , Maybe they don't want you to have guests over after a certain time, or anticipate you'll pay room and board after your first few months.
Getting these things out in the open can eliminate the inevitable tension that comes from false expectations. , It is also very important to discuss the house rules.
It sounds weird, but it's very likely that the last time you lived in their house, you still had to follow your parents' rules. Without actually discussing it, they may naturally gravitate toward being "in charge." Maybe you still had a curfew or were expected to call when coming in late.
To avoid any misunderstandings, it is essential to express to your parents that although you are their "child," you are an adult, and that you are used to making your own rules.
Together, you can decide what a respectful adult relationship looks like in their home. , By the time you reach adulthood, you've will have somewhat of a grasp on what you like, what you don't, and what are necessities for you.
Now that you're no longer the "king" or "queen of your castle," some adjustments will likely need to be made.
Maybe you enjoy silent meditation on Saturday mornings, but your mom's book club meets at her house once a month.
On those days, maybe you can take a walk or plan to sit by the lake. It is also likely that your tastes differ from your parents.
Rather than come into their home making changes to suit your needs, maybe you can choose to decorate your room to match your tastes and leave it at that. , Start saving for moving on from the day you move in.
Having your own place again is probably a helpful goal to keep you motivated and happy as you "survive" the moving back in period.
Since a lack of finance is the most likely reason why you've moved back home, get budgeting advice as well, and try to stick to very strict spending rules so that you can save that rental or home deposit up for your future. , Moving back home is an awesome opportunity to regroup and start over.
See the blessing in it, not just the need to "survive." It's an opportunity to get to know your parents again, as an adult.
It's an opportunity to use this "safe haven" to fix the problems that drove you there in the first place.
It is also a safe place from which you can try new things in the hope of reorienting your choices in a more successful direction.
If you see the blessings in the time spent back at home, you'll find it far easier to survive this transition in your life.
About the Author
Charlotte Jimenez
Specializes in breaking down complex DIY projects topics into simple steps.
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