How to Develop True Compassion

Practice mindfulness., Be grateful., Use positive self-talk., Forgive yourself., Maintain your health., Do something nice for yourself.

6 Steps 5 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Practice mindfulness.

    Some research suggests being mindful can help you develop self-compassion.This is because being mindful means focusing your thoughts and senses on what you are doing at the time.

    It is the practice of being aware of and accepting your feelings and emotions.

    Accepting your feelings will help you be kinder to yourself and develop self-compassion.

    Focus on only one thing at a time instead of multitasking.

    This will allow you to focus your attention on what you are doing.

    For example, if you are cooking, then focus only on that – not the TV and the report you need to write.

    Think about what you are doing as you do it.

    Narrate your actions to yourself.

    For example, you might say to yourself, “Right now I’m swinging.

    I’m pumping my legs back and forth and leaning back and forth.

    Pay attention to your body and emotions.

    For instance you might think to yourself, “I can feel the wind blowing on my face and hear the leaves rustling.

    I feel exhilarated!”
  2. Step 2: Be grateful.

    Some studies indicate that developing gratitude can help you reduce stress.The less stressed you are, the kinder and more compassionate you can be to yourself.

    Be grateful for the good things that you have in your life so that you can show compassion to others who might not have as much as you.

    Keep a gratitude journal.

    Make a list of the things that you are grateful for.

    They can be small things like your favorite candy to large things life your family.

    Write down at least one thing that you are grateful for every day.

    For example, before you go to bed each night, write down something that happened during the day that you are grateful for.

    Purposely look for things that happen in your life to be grateful for.

    For instance, when you are stuck in traffic, remind yourself to be grateful that you aren’t walking and that you own a car. , You can develop true compassion if you talk to yourself like you are the compassionate person you want to be.When you use positive self-talk you remind yourself and encourage yourself to be compassionate.

    You also show yourself compassion by thinking kind thoughts about yourself.

    Whenever you catch yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, stop yourself and switch to positive self-talk.

    For instance, if you’re thinking “I’m mean”, you could say to yourself, “I’m not mean.

    I shouldn’t call myself things like that.” Tell yourself, “I’m a good person and I deserve to be compassionate with myself.

    I want to and can develop my compassion.” , Everyone has done and will do something that they feel ashamed of or regret.

    One way to increase your self-compassion is to forgive yourself when you need to.While you should definitely learn from your mistakes, you shouldn’t beat yourself up.

    Try telling yourself, “I made a mistake and I feel bad about it.

    I forgive myself and I’m going to learn from this experience.

    You can also write about the situation in your journal and then write a statement of forgiveness to yourself.

    For instance, you might write, “I forgive myself for what happened last week.

    When I spread that rumor it was wrong.

    I’ll never do anything like that again.” , Developing self-compassion doesn’t just mean taking care of your self-esteem and emotions.

    It also means taking care of your physical health, as well.

    Maintaining your health also gives you the energy and focus you need to develop true compassion towards others.

    Go to bed and wake-up at regular times.

    Make sure you are getting 6-8 hours of sleep each night.

    Choose nutritious foods for your meals and snacks.

    For example, whole grains, unprocessed foods, and fresh fruits and vegetables are good choices.

    Try water, tea, and natural juices rather than alcohol, soft drinks, and beverages with added sugars.

    You could add some lemon or mint to your water for a fresh taste or substitute an energy drink with a cup of green tea.

    Get active.

    Participate in a team sport like softball or volleyball or a group class like taekwondo to add a social element.

    Or you could go for a daily walk or jog or try yoga or tai chi. , Treat yourself, just as you might show compassion for a friend by doing something nice for them just to show you care.

    Do things that make you happy simply because they make you happy and you deserve it to help develop true self-compassion and compassion for others.For example, when you finish a hard week of exams, treat yourself to some pizza and a movie or hit the social scene with your friends.

    Take the extra time to do something special with your appearance every now and then.

    Change your hairstyle, try a new outfit, or even reward yourself with that new shirt you’ve been wanting.
  3. Step 3: Use positive self-talk.

  4. Step 4: Forgive yourself.

  5. Step 5: Maintain your health.

  6. Step 6: Do something nice for yourself.

Detailed Guide

Some research suggests being mindful can help you develop self-compassion.This is because being mindful means focusing your thoughts and senses on what you are doing at the time.

It is the practice of being aware of and accepting your feelings and emotions.

Accepting your feelings will help you be kinder to yourself and develop self-compassion.

Focus on only one thing at a time instead of multitasking.

This will allow you to focus your attention on what you are doing.

For example, if you are cooking, then focus only on that – not the TV and the report you need to write.

Think about what you are doing as you do it.

Narrate your actions to yourself.

For example, you might say to yourself, “Right now I’m swinging.

I’m pumping my legs back and forth and leaning back and forth.

Pay attention to your body and emotions.

For instance you might think to yourself, “I can feel the wind blowing on my face and hear the leaves rustling.

I feel exhilarated!”

Some studies indicate that developing gratitude can help you reduce stress.The less stressed you are, the kinder and more compassionate you can be to yourself.

Be grateful for the good things that you have in your life so that you can show compassion to others who might not have as much as you.

Keep a gratitude journal.

Make a list of the things that you are grateful for.

They can be small things like your favorite candy to large things life your family.

Write down at least one thing that you are grateful for every day.

For example, before you go to bed each night, write down something that happened during the day that you are grateful for.

Purposely look for things that happen in your life to be grateful for.

For instance, when you are stuck in traffic, remind yourself to be grateful that you aren’t walking and that you own a car. , You can develop true compassion if you talk to yourself like you are the compassionate person you want to be.When you use positive self-talk you remind yourself and encourage yourself to be compassionate.

You also show yourself compassion by thinking kind thoughts about yourself.

Whenever you catch yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, stop yourself and switch to positive self-talk.

For instance, if you’re thinking “I’m mean”, you could say to yourself, “I’m not mean.

I shouldn’t call myself things like that.” Tell yourself, “I’m a good person and I deserve to be compassionate with myself.

I want to and can develop my compassion.” , Everyone has done and will do something that they feel ashamed of or regret.

One way to increase your self-compassion is to forgive yourself when you need to.While you should definitely learn from your mistakes, you shouldn’t beat yourself up.

Try telling yourself, “I made a mistake and I feel bad about it.

I forgive myself and I’m going to learn from this experience.

You can also write about the situation in your journal and then write a statement of forgiveness to yourself.

For instance, you might write, “I forgive myself for what happened last week.

When I spread that rumor it was wrong.

I’ll never do anything like that again.” , Developing self-compassion doesn’t just mean taking care of your self-esteem and emotions.

It also means taking care of your physical health, as well.

Maintaining your health also gives you the energy and focus you need to develop true compassion towards others.

Go to bed and wake-up at regular times.

Make sure you are getting 6-8 hours of sleep each night.

Choose nutritious foods for your meals and snacks.

For example, whole grains, unprocessed foods, and fresh fruits and vegetables are good choices.

Try water, tea, and natural juices rather than alcohol, soft drinks, and beverages with added sugars.

You could add some lemon or mint to your water for a fresh taste or substitute an energy drink with a cup of green tea.

Get active.

Participate in a team sport like softball or volleyball or a group class like taekwondo to add a social element.

Or you could go for a daily walk or jog or try yoga or tai chi. , Treat yourself, just as you might show compassion for a friend by doing something nice for them just to show you care.

Do things that make you happy simply because they make you happy and you deserve it to help develop true self-compassion and compassion for others.For example, when you finish a hard week of exams, treat yourself to some pizza and a movie or hit the social scene with your friends.

Take the extra time to do something special with your appearance every now and then.

Change your hairstyle, try a new outfit, or even reward yourself with that new shirt you’ve been wanting.

About the Author

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Isabella Turner

Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.

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