How to Give Up Control
Identify areas of your life where you could relax a little., Adjust your expectations., Imagine the worst-case scenario., Practice mindfulness.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Identify areas of your life where you could relax a little.
Think about which of your controlling behaviors are stressing you out or making your life more difficult.
Ask yourself whether you’re trying to manage things which you can’t realistically control anyways, or whether you’re too perfectionistic in some areas.For instance, you might want to improve your relationships by not trying to control other people’s behavior. -
Step 2: Adjust your expectations.
Think about what kind of expectations you have of yourself, other people, and the world in general.
If your standards are unrealistically high, bring them down to a more reasonable level.
Focus on doing your best instead of doing everything.If you’re not sure whether your expectations are reasonable or not, ask someone whose judgment you trust to give you their perspective.
For example, you might expect your nanny to discipline your children in the exact same way you do, but this may be unreasonable.
Check with others to see if your expectations need adjusting. , When you’re stressing about a situation or event, regain your perspective by asking yourself what the worst outcome could possibly be and whether you could handle it.
You’ll probably realize that the world won’t fall apart, even if you can’t control the way something turns out.For instance, if you’re worried about not knowing what to do at your new job, the worst-case scenario might be that you make a mistake or need to ask for help, neither of which are major catastrophes. , Establish the habit of just being present in the world.
Don’t judge what’s happening right now or worry about what might happen later.
When you accept the present moment without expectations or criticism, you’ll realize it’s okay to not be in control of everything.When you are in a mindful state, you’ll be able to recognize your urges for control and figure out where they’re coming from, instead of immediately acting on them.
Regular meditation can help you become more mindful. -
Step 3: Imagine the worst-case scenario.
-
Step 4: Practice mindfulness.
Detailed Guide
Think about which of your controlling behaviors are stressing you out or making your life more difficult.
Ask yourself whether you’re trying to manage things which you can’t realistically control anyways, or whether you’re too perfectionistic in some areas.For instance, you might want to improve your relationships by not trying to control other people’s behavior.
Think about what kind of expectations you have of yourself, other people, and the world in general.
If your standards are unrealistically high, bring them down to a more reasonable level.
Focus on doing your best instead of doing everything.If you’re not sure whether your expectations are reasonable or not, ask someone whose judgment you trust to give you their perspective.
For example, you might expect your nanny to discipline your children in the exact same way you do, but this may be unreasonable.
Check with others to see if your expectations need adjusting. , When you’re stressing about a situation or event, regain your perspective by asking yourself what the worst outcome could possibly be and whether you could handle it.
You’ll probably realize that the world won’t fall apart, even if you can’t control the way something turns out.For instance, if you’re worried about not knowing what to do at your new job, the worst-case scenario might be that you make a mistake or need to ask for help, neither of which are major catastrophes. , Establish the habit of just being present in the world.
Don’t judge what’s happening right now or worry about what might happen later.
When you accept the present moment without expectations or criticism, you’ll realize it’s okay to not be in control of everything.When you are in a mindful state, you’ll be able to recognize your urges for control and figure out where they’re coming from, instead of immediately acting on them.
Regular meditation can help you become more mindful.
About the Author
Joe Gomez
Joe Gomez has dedicated 5 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Joe focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: