How to Overcome Emotional Dependency
Identify your fear., Spend time alone., Strengthen your sense of identity., Stop trying to control others., Get help breaking the pattern.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify your fear.
Most of the time, feelings of neediness or dependence are rooted in fear.
Think about how you would feel if the person you’re dependent on left.
Ask yourself what in particular scares you about that scenario.For instance, if you’re emotionally dependent on the person you’re dating, you might have an underlying fear of feeling unlovable. -
Step 2: Spend time alone.
Find a time when you won’t be interrupted, and sit quietly with yourself for a while.
Notice where your mind goes and what kind of urges you experience.
You may find some thought patterns or habits you weren’t previously aware of.Don’t distract yourself by checking your phone or tidying your room when you do this exercise.
Devote all your attention to introspection, even if it’s uncomfortable. , Think about who you really are when you’re not trying to please anybody else.
Identify your core values, the things you want to achieve, and your idiosyncrasies.
Work on building a sense of self that doesn’t depend on external validation.If you don’t have a strong sense of identity, step out of your comfort zone and explore some new things by yourself.
See which activities, people, and ideas resonate with you. , When you depend too much on other people, you may end up trying to control them – or feeling miserable because you can’t.
Accept that other people have the right to their own thoughts, feelings, and choices, and realize that these won’t always involve you.
Channel your energy into taking control of your own choices and thoughts.For example, if you get jealous when your friend wants to spend time with other people, don’t try to guilt-trip them.
Take a deep breath, remember that people can have many friends, and think about what you’ll do with your free time instead. , If you feel locked in a cycle of emotional dependency and can’t manage to break out on your own, don’t be afraid to seek help.
Talk to a trusted friend or relative, or get help from a counselor or therapist. -
Step 3: Strengthen your sense of identity.
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Step 4: Stop trying to control others.
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Step 5: Get help breaking the pattern.
Detailed Guide
Most of the time, feelings of neediness or dependence are rooted in fear.
Think about how you would feel if the person you’re dependent on left.
Ask yourself what in particular scares you about that scenario.For instance, if you’re emotionally dependent on the person you’re dating, you might have an underlying fear of feeling unlovable.
Find a time when you won’t be interrupted, and sit quietly with yourself for a while.
Notice where your mind goes and what kind of urges you experience.
You may find some thought patterns or habits you weren’t previously aware of.Don’t distract yourself by checking your phone or tidying your room when you do this exercise.
Devote all your attention to introspection, even if it’s uncomfortable. , Think about who you really are when you’re not trying to please anybody else.
Identify your core values, the things you want to achieve, and your idiosyncrasies.
Work on building a sense of self that doesn’t depend on external validation.If you don’t have a strong sense of identity, step out of your comfort zone and explore some new things by yourself.
See which activities, people, and ideas resonate with you. , When you depend too much on other people, you may end up trying to control them – or feeling miserable because you can’t.
Accept that other people have the right to their own thoughts, feelings, and choices, and realize that these won’t always involve you.
Channel your energy into taking control of your own choices and thoughts.For example, if you get jealous when your friend wants to spend time with other people, don’t try to guilt-trip them.
Take a deep breath, remember that people can have many friends, and think about what you’ll do with your free time instead. , If you feel locked in a cycle of emotional dependency and can’t manage to break out on your own, don’t be afraid to seek help.
Talk to a trusted friend or relative, or get help from a counselor or therapist.
About the Author
Emily Mitchell
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in hobbies and beyond.
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