How to Stand up Against Bullying Without Getting in Trouble
Learn to say no., Redirect the conversation respectfully., Ask your bully for an explanation., Show confidence when interacting with your bully., Stay calm and unemotional., Make eye contact., Defend yourself physically as a last resort., Stand up...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Learn to say no.
Bullies look for targets who will not assert themselves.
One simple way to deal with bullies is to just tell them no.
If they’re trying to make you do things for them or boss you around, say no and walk away.
Don’t let the bully dictate how you should act.
The more you give in, the more likely the bully is to continue harassing you.
That’s why the first step to getting rid of a bully is simply saying no and sticking to it.If a bully asks you to do something for them, try saying no politely.
For example, if a bully says, "Can you answer these homework questions for me?" You can say something like, "I'm sorry I was just about to leave." Then, walk away.
If you can't leave the situation, you can try something like, "I don't think I'll be able to help you.
I'm struggling with this assignment as well." If you have the time and think the bully may be open to listening, you can say something like, "No I can't answer them for you, but I can help you with the assignment." -
Step 2: Redirect the conversation respectfully.
This can be difficult, especially if you feel your bully has disrespected you, your loved ones, or your friends.
However, most bullies won’t enjoy their bullying behaviors if the person being bullied continues to treat them with respect.
Don’t engage with their bullying talk.
Instead, redirect the bully to a different topic.
If you feel confident enough to do so, you can even try making a joke to diffuse the situation.
An example of redirecting the bullying talk may be, if your bully says something like, “There’s that stupid kid.” Respond politely with something as simple as, “My name is Sam.” An example of using a joke to diffuse the situation could be, responding to the same comment, “There’s that stupid kid,” by saying something funny like, “I’m not that stupid.” Don’t make the joke at the bully’s expense.
This will likely only make them angrier, and turn you into a bully.
As long as the bully continues to harass you verbally, you can continue to respond to them with respect.
If they begin to physically harm you, it’s time to avoid them or ask for help., If you’re unable to redirect the bullying talk or make a joke, you can attempt to address the issue directly.
When you have an opportunity to talk to the bully one-on-one, ask them why they are harassing you.
In some cases, pointing out the bully’s behavior may be enough to make them stop.
This direct approach will let them know you can stand up for yourself, and in some cases, they may not even realize their behavior is affecting you.
Make sure you talk to your bully privately, but always be close enough to other people that you can call for help.
You never know when a bully will escalate from verbal harassment to physical abuse.
Use specific incidents rather than generalizations.
For instance, say, “Why do you keep calling me stupid?” Instead of, “Why do you keep making fun of me?” If your bully refuses to respond or responds with more harassment, walk away.
Don’t push the issue.
Remember that people often use bullying as a tactic to deal with unpleasant issues in their own life, and prodding into those issues may cause them to take it out on you., Don’t turn away, look down, or look scared.
Hold your head up high.
Try to seem confident, even if you aren't.
If your bully sees you as being weak or scared, they’ll consider you an easy target for their harassment for two reasons: they think you won’t defend yourself and they think what they say will affect you.
Show your bully that you are confident in who you are and that their bulling doesn’t upset you.
Remember that despite what a bully says about you, you are a valuable person with valid opinions and insights.
You have every right to expect people to treat you with respect.
If you take what a bully says personally, it may be an indication that you hold negative beliefs about certain aspects of your life.
If you internalize their comments, you may want to think about why they impact you so much.
This can be used as a tool for growth.
You may look and feel more confident if you wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable, so select outfits that boost your self-confidence.
Don’t allow the bully’s comments to make you doubt yourself., No matter how upset you are, don't cry, yell, or show emotion in front of the bully.
In many cases, this is exactly what they want.
This will let them know that what they are doing is working.
Bullies like getting to you, and they will come back for more.
Don’t react to their harassment, and many bullies will stop simply because they aren’t getting the reaction they want out of you., If you notice the bully looking at you, look them in the eyes.
Keep your face free from emotion, and try to maintain eye contact to let them know you’re not scared of them.
Don't look worried.
You’d be surprised how uncomfortable eye contact can make your bully.
This shows you are confident and unconcerned, and it will make them second guess themselves., Don’t ever start a physical fight with a bully.
This will almost certainly lead to you getting into trouble.
However, if your bully does try to fight, you may want to be able to protect yourself.
Run away if this is possible.
Curl into a ball with your face and head protected.
As a last resort, fight back.
You don’t want to take this approach if you can avoid it, but sometimes, you need to protect yourself.
Consider taking self-defense courses, if your bully is physically harassing you regularly.
Avoid your bully to prevent physical altercations, whenever possible.
Remember that unwanted physical contact is considered assault, and is a crime.
You can always threaten to call the authorities if things get physical.
Always seek help from a person in authority if your bully is physically assaulting you., If you notice your bully is harassing other people too, offer your support to the people being bullied.
Even if the other people are harassed by a different bully, stopping to make sure they're okay and helping them address the bully will not only make them feel better it will continue to improve your confidence. -
Step 3: Ask your bully for an explanation.
-
Step 4: Show confidence when interacting with your bully.
-
Step 5: Stay calm and unemotional.
-
Step 6: Make eye contact.
-
Step 7: Defend yourself physically as a last resort.
-
Step 8: Stand up for others who are bullied.
Detailed Guide
Bullies look for targets who will not assert themselves.
One simple way to deal with bullies is to just tell them no.
If they’re trying to make you do things for them or boss you around, say no and walk away.
Don’t let the bully dictate how you should act.
The more you give in, the more likely the bully is to continue harassing you.
That’s why the first step to getting rid of a bully is simply saying no and sticking to it.If a bully asks you to do something for them, try saying no politely.
For example, if a bully says, "Can you answer these homework questions for me?" You can say something like, "I'm sorry I was just about to leave." Then, walk away.
If you can't leave the situation, you can try something like, "I don't think I'll be able to help you.
I'm struggling with this assignment as well." If you have the time and think the bully may be open to listening, you can say something like, "No I can't answer them for you, but I can help you with the assignment."
This can be difficult, especially if you feel your bully has disrespected you, your loved ones, or your friends.
However, most bullies won’t enjoy their bullying behaviors if the person being bullied continues to treat them with respect.
Don’t engage with their bullying talk.
Instead, redirect the bully to a different topic.
If you feel confident enough to do so, you can even try making a joke to diffuse the situation.
An example of redirecting the bullying talk may be, if your bully says something like, “There’s that stupid kid.” Respond politely with something as simple as, “My name is Sam.” An example of using a joke to diffuse the situation could be, responding to the same comment, “There’s that stupid kid,” by saying something funny like, “I’m not that stupid.” Don’t make the joke at the bully’s expense.
This will likely only make them angrier, and turn you into a bully.
As long as the bully continues to harass you verbally, you can continue to respond to them with respect.
If they begin to physically harm you, it’s time to avoid them or ask for help., If you’re unable to redirect the bullying talk or make a joke, you can attempt to address the issue directly.
When you have an opportunity to talk to the bully one-on-one, ask them why they are harassing you.
In some cases, pointing out the bully’s behavior may be enough to make them stop.
This direct approach will let them know you can stand up for yourself, and in some cases, they may not even realize their behavior is affecting you.
Make sure you talk to your bully privately, but always be close enough to other people that you can call for help.
You never know when a bully will escalate from verbal harassment to physical abuse.
Use specific incidents rather than generalizations.
For instance, say, “Why do you keep calling me stupid?” Instead of, “Why do you keep making fun of me?” If your bully refuses to respond or responds with more harassment, walk away.
Don’t push the issue.
Remember that people often use bullying as a tactic to deal with unpleasant issues in their own life, and prodding into those issues may cause them to take it out on you., Don’t turn away, look down, or look scared.
Hold your head up high.
Try to seem confident, even if you aren't.
If your bully sees you as being weak or scared, they’ll consider you an easy target for their harassment for two reasons: they think you won’t defend yourself and they think what they say will affect you.
Show your bully that you are confident in who you are and that their bulling doesn’t upset you.
Remember that despite what a bully says about you, you are a valuable person with valid opinions and insights.
You have every right to expect people to treat you with respect.
If you take what a bully says personally, it may be an indication that you hold negative beliefs about certain aspects of your life.
If you internalize their comments, you may want to think about why they impact you so much.
This can be used as a tool for growth.
You may look and feel more confident if you wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable, so select outfits that boost your self-confidence.
Don’t allow the bully’s comments to make you doubt yourself., No matter how upset you are, don't cry, yell, or show emotion in front of the bully.
In many cases, this is exactly what they want.
This will let them know that what they are doing is working.
Bullies like getting to you, and they will come back for more.
Don’t react to their harassment, and many bullies will stop simply because they aren’t getting the reaction they want out of you., If you notice the bully looking at you, look them in the eyes.
Keep your face free from emotion, and try to maintain eye contact to let them know you’re not scared of them.
Don't look worried.
You’d be surprised how uncomfortable eye contact can make your bully.
This shows you are confident and unconcerned, and it will make them second guess themselves., Don’t ever start a physical fight with a bully.
This will almost certainly lead to you getting into trouble.
However, if your bully does try to fight, you may want to be able to protect yourself.
Run away if this is possible.
Curl into a ball with your face and head protected.
As a last resort, fight back.
You don’t want to take this approach if you can avoid it, but sometimes, you need to protect yourself.
Consider taking self-defense courses, if your bully is physically harassing you regularly.
Avoid your bully to prevent physical altercations, whenever possible.
Remember that unwanted physical contact is considered assault, and is a crime.
You can always threaten to call the authorities if things get physical.
Always seek help from a person in authority if your bully is physically assaulting you., If you notice your bully is harassing other people too, offer your support to the people being bullied.
Even if the other people are harassed by a different bully, stopping to make sure they're okay and helping them address the bully will not only make them feel better it will continue to improve your confidence.
About the Author
Deborah Brooks
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: