How to Uninvite Annoying Relatives
Recognize that you may be labeled as the "bad guy.", Weigh the pros and cons., Ask for advice., Decide if an alternative arrangement would work better.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Recognize that you may be labeled as the "bad guy."
If you are rescinding an invitation that you sent previously, understand that doing so may not win you any favors with the person or the other guests.
Typically, it’s poor etiquette to withdraw an invitation after it has already gone out.The person will likely be offended by your decision.
This may even jeopardize your relationship with them or others. -
Step 2: Weigh the pros and cons.
Since there may be some negative fallout from revoking an invitation from a family member, you should carefully consider your reasons for doing so.
What has the person done to warrant no longer being invited? Did you have a disagreement with the person recently and are choosing to withdraw the invitation for emotional reasons? Has there been an incident that caused you to doubt their ability to behave appropriately? Make a list of pros and cons for not having this person in attendance.
A pro might be “avoiding a scene after they have too much to drink.” A con might be “them causing a fuss if you take back the invite.” Review your list to help you decide if revoking the invitation is the best course of action.Keep in mind that you can't always take back the invitation.
In some cases, not taking back the invitation will be the best course of action. , Choosing to uninvite a relative is a difficult decision, one you shouldn’t take lightly.
It may help to discuss the matter with a close friend or other relative whom you can trust.
Reach out to this person and get their opinion.
You might say, “I’m seriously considering uninviting Rachel from the barbecue.
I heard about the fiasco she caused at the Andersons' gathering the other week and I don’t want to have that kind of drama at my event.
What do you think?”, Before making the leap to fully uninviting the person, determine if there are other ways you can manage their behavior while still allowing them to attend.
For instance, if your relative has trouble controlling their behavior when drinking, you might limit their access to alcohol or totally remove alcoholic beverages from the menu for all guests.
If two relatives are at war with one another, you may be able to have both in attendance by separating them.
Seat them far away from each other and assign a point-person to make sure contact is restricted.
If you have a relative who tends to curse, tell inappropriate jokes, or start drama in some other way, decide if they might agree to modify their behavior for the event.
For example, you might tell them, “Hi, Joel, I know you have a trouble reeling in that potty mouth, but there will be some conservative guests in attendance who aren’t comfortable with curse words.
Can you be mindful of your language? If so, then I would love for you to attend.” -
Step 3: Ask for advice.
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Step 4: Decide if an alternative arrangement would work better.
Detailed Guide
If you are rescinding an invitation that you sent previously, understand that doing so may not win you any favors with the person or the other guests.
Typically, it’s poor etiquette to withdraw an invitation after it has already gone out.The person will likely be offended by your decision.
This may even jeopardize your relationship with them or others.
Since there may be some negative fallout from revoking an invitation from a family member, you should carefully consider your reasons for doing so.
What has the person done to warrant no longer being invited? Did you have a disagreement with the person recently and are choosing to withdraw the invitation for emotional reasons? Has there been an incident that caused you to doubt their ability to behave appropriately? Make a list of pros and cons for not having this person in attendance.
A pro might be “avoiding a scene after they have too much to drink.” A con might be “them causing a fuss if you take back the invite.” Review your list to help you decide if revoking the invitation is the best course of action.Keep in mind that you can't always take back the invitation.
In some cases, not taking back the invitation will be the best course of action. , Choosing to uninvite a relative is a difficult decision, one you shouldn’t take lightly.
It may help to discuss the matter with a close friend or other relative whom you can trust.
Reach out to this person and get their opinion.
You might say, “I’m seriously considering uninviting Rachel from the barbecue.
I heard about the fiasco she caused at the Andersons' gathering the other week and I don’t want to have that kind of drama at my event.
What do you think?”, Before making the leap to fully uninviting the person, determine if there are other ways you can manage their behavior while still allowing them to attend.
For instance, if your relative has trouble controlling their behavior when drinking, you might limit their access to alcohol or totally remove alcoholic beverages from the menu for all guests.
If two relatives are at war with one another, you may be able to have both in attendance by separating them.
Seat them far away from each other and assign a point-person to make sure contact is restricted.
If you have a relative who tends to curse, tell inappropriate jokes, or start drama in some other way, decide if they might agree to modify their behavior for the event.
For example, you might tell them, “Hi, Joel, I know you have a trouble reeling in that potty mouth, but there will be some conservative guests in attendance who aren’t comfortable with curse words.
Can you be mindful of your language? If so, then I would love for you to attend.”
About the Author
Donna Price
Experienced content creator specializing in organization guides and tutorials.
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