How to Accept a Family Member's Spouse
Find out why you are struggling to accept the person., Give them some space., Talk to your family member., Try to be friends with the spouse., Let the person know., Look for what your family member sees in them., Share., Be forgiving., Make up.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out why you are struggling to accept the person.
There can be many reasons for this.
Maybe the addition in the house was unexpected or against the will of the family, perhaps you dislike their attitude or behavior, it might be a gay couple, etc.
Find out why you are having difficulties with that person.
If the spouse is causing physical or emotional damage to your loved one, this is a serious problem.
Get help right away. -
Step 2: Give them some space.
Realise that it is as difficult for the person to accept your family as it is for you to accept him/her.
Give the person space to open up and try to make him/her feel at home.
It takes time to adjust for anyone in a new home, give the person that time.Put yourself in his/her shoes and try to think of the situation from his/her point of view too. , Your loved one has probably noticed your less-than-happy attitude about their spouse.
Take them aside to a quiet place and have a heart-to-heart about your relationship with their spouse.
Phrase it as your problem and use "I" language. "I need help because I am having trouble getting along with your spouse." Make it clear that you are not attacking their spouse or their taste in partners. , Find out what you have in common with the person.
You both might like the same TV show, music or you both share might share the same hobby.
Ask him/her about his/her dreams, aspiration and goals.
Share family jokes.
You can also talk about his/her partner. You might find a good friend in that person. , Tell the person why you have difficulty in accepting him/her.
Act compassionate, and apologize if needed. "Kiante, I realize that I've been a little aloof and distant towards you.
I guess I've been having a hard time accepting that my baby bro is gay.
That's my problem, not yours, and I realize that you're the type of guy who will treat him right.
I'm truly sorry, and I hope we can be friends."
After all, they are married to your loved one, not to you.
Search for their individual strengths.
Try to see how, even if they aren't a good match for you, they are right for your family member. , You have to do a lot of sharing when a new person joins the family.
You'll share dinner tables, company, and loved ones.
But the good part is that you also get to share your responsibilities, love, thoughts and feelings.
Look for ways to share positive experiences together. , Everyone has faults.
How would you feel if someone judged you as harshly as you were judging the spouse? Try to ease up a little and give them the benefit of doubt. , Even if you fight with the person make it up as soon as you can.
Do not let the bitterness of a fight affect your relationship. -
Step 3: Talk to your family member.
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Step 4: Try to be friends with the spouse.
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Step 5: Let the person know.
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Step 6: Look for what your family member sees in them.
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Step 7: Share.
-
Step 8: Be forgiving.
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Step 9: Make up.
Detailed Guide
There can be many reasons for this.
Maybe the addition in the house was unexpected or against the will of the family, perhaps you dislike their attitude or behavior, it might be a gay couple, etc.
Find out why you are having difficulties with that person.
If the spouse is causing physical or emotional damage to your loved one, this is a serious problem.
Get help right away.
Realise that it is as difficult for the person to accept your family as it is for you to accept him/her.
Give the person space to open up and try to make him/her feel at home.
It takes time to adjust for anyone in a new home, give the person that time.Put yourself in his/her shoes and try to think of the situation from his/her point of view too. , Your loved one has probably noticed your less-than-happy attitude about their spouse.
Take them aside to a quiet place and have a heart-to-heart about your relationship with their spouse.
Phrase it as your problem and use "I" language. "I need help because I am having trouble getting along with your spouse." Make it clear that you are not attacking their spouse or their taste in partners. , Find out what you have in common with the person.
You both might like the same TV show, music or you both share might share the same hobby.
Ask him/her about his/her dreams, aspiration and goals.
Share family jokes.
You can also talk about his/her partner. You might find a good friend in that person. , Tell the person why you have difficulty in accepting him/her.
Act compassionate, and apologize if needed. "Kiante, I realize that I've been a little aloof and distant towards you.
I guess I've been having a hard time accepting that my baby bro is gay.
That's my problem, not yours, and I realize that you're the type of guy who will treat him right.
I'm truly sorry, and I hope we can be friends."
After all, they are married to your loved one, not to you.
Search for their individual strengths.
Try to see how, even if they aren't a good match for you, they are right for your family member. , You have to do a lot of sharing when a new person joins the family.
You'll share dinner tables, company, and loved ones.
But the good part is that you also get to share your responsibilities, love, thoughts and feelings.
Look for ways to share positive experiences together. , Everyone has faults.
How would you feel if someone judged you as harshly as you were judging the spouse? Try to ease up a little and give them the benefit of doubt. , Even if you fight with the person make it up as soon as you can.
Do not let the bitterness of a fight affect your relationship.
About the Author
Nicholas Fox
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
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