How to Be a Good Boyfriend
Be honest., Trust her., Contribute equally to conversations., Be a good listener., Learn to compromise., Be supportive., Be sympathetic.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Be honest.
In any relationship, and with only very rare exceptions, honesty is the best policy.
If you're honest from the beginning of your relationship, then you'll be less likely to run into trouble down the line.You should tell her what she needs to know without overwhelming her with the truth.
For example, if you had a serious past relationship, you can let her know without revealing every little detail about your ex.
Temper your honesty with kindness.
Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment.
Instead, offer an alternative.
For example, if she asks you if you like something she is trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it shows off her great eyes.
You should not only be comfortable with being honest, but you should be accepting of her honesty as well.
If you want to be a good boyfriend, you should be able to handle the truth. -
Step 2: Trust her.
Trust your girlfriend and give her reason to trust you.
Trust should form the foundation of your relationship.
This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs.You can show that you trust your girlfriend by telling her something that a lot of people don't know about you.
You can secure her trust in you by showing that you care and are concerned if she tells you something personal and important to her. , When you talk, try to seek some amount of balance in the flow of conversation.
If you're too quiet, she may think you're losing interest in her.
If you're too talkative, she may think you're self-obsessed or plain impolite.Conversations are about give and take.
The same is true for relationships.
They never succeed when they're one-sided.
Obviously, there will be occasions when you do talk a lot (such as when something exciting or important happens) or when you retreat a bit (such as when something bad happens).
On the whole, though, aim for a balance of conversation. , Instead of thinking about the next thing you want to say, or something else entirely, focus on listening to her.
Think about what she is saying.
Always seem interested and fully engaged in her presence.Remember, a conversation with your girlfriend isn't just acknowledging, it's also about remembering.
If your girlfriend is telling you about an important experience, make a mental note of it.
If she's told you something twice before and you have no idea what she's talking about because you weren't really listening, she'll know and she won't be happy about it. "Listen" to her non-verbal "conversations" as well.
Learn to tell when something is bothering her even when she won't say it.
What does her expression, her body language, or even the way she keeps twirling her hair tell you? , Compromise is a big part of successful communication.
If you and your girlfriend can't disagree without getting into a big fight or without one person immediately giving in to the needs of the other, then you have a problem.
To be good at compromising, you should be able to talk about your needs and wants while understanding where your girlfriend is coming from, instead of ignoring her side of the story.After you and your girl discuss your thoughts on a certain situation, you can work together to make a pros and cons list, and decide what will be best for both of you.
Sometimes, you and your girlfriend will have to give in to one another.
That's okay, as long as you're taking turns.
If she picks the movie for date night, for example, you should pick the dinner location.
Part of learning to compromise is using a calm, even voice when you have a disagreement.
Never yell, swear, or (under any circumstances, ever) hit her, no matter how angry you become.
Walk away for a while if you have to, and come back when you can talk rationally., You can show support by being available, listening attentively, and showing interest in the things she tells you.
When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to her needs.
By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship.
And if you support her goals and dreams, then she'll support yours in turn.Be there when she has to study for a big exam or finish college applications, or when she's stressed about anything else that can affect her future.
If she's having a busy week or month, you should be there to help her out by doing small favors, like picking up lunch or giving her a ride to class, to make her days easier. , If it means something to her, it should mean something to you.
It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for her––a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive.
When she's upset, try to put yourself in her shoes and understand where she's coming from.
Don't just dismiss her feelings because you think it's "not that big of a deal."Always confirm that you are listening and sound sincere when you comfort her.
If you don't feel like you are genuinely sorry, try to change the way you think.
Think about things from her perspective.
Sometimes, she may just want to cry and to be comforted.
Don't try to fix her problems right away.
Instead, wait for her to deal with all of her emotions before being practical.
If she's upset, it's important to ask, "Do you want to talk about it?" Make her see that you really care.
And if she's not ready to talk about it yet, don't pry. -
Step 3: Contribute equally to conversations.
-
Step 4: Be a good listener.
-
Step 5: Learn to compromise.
-
Step 6: Be supportive.
-
Step 7: Be sympathetic.
Detailed Guide
In any relationship, and with only very rare exceptions, honesty is the best policy.
If you're honest from the beginning of your relationship, then you'll be less likely to run into trouble down the line.You should tell her what she needs to know without overwhelming her with the truth.
For example, if you had a serious past relationship, you can let her know without revealing every little detail about your ex.
Temper your honesty with kindness.
Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment.
Instead, offer an alternative.
For example, if she asks you if you like something she is trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it shows off her great eyes.
You should not only be comfortable with being honest, but you should be accepting of her honesty as well.
If you want to be a good boyfriend, you should be able to handle the truth.
Trust your girlfriend and give her reason to trust you.
Trust should form the foundation of your relationship.
This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs.You can show that you trust your girlfriend by telling her something that a lot of people don't know about you.
You can secure her trust in you by showing that you care and are concerned if she tells you something personal and important to her. , When you talk, try to seek some amount of balance in the flow of conversation.
If you're too quiet, she may think you're losing interest in her.
If you're too talkative, she may think you're self-obsessed or plain impolite.Conversations are about give and take.
The same is true for relationships.
They never succeed when they're one-sided.
Obviously, there will be occasions when you do talk a lot (such as when something exciting or important happens) or when you retreat a bit (such as when something bad happens).
On the whole, though, aim for a balance of conversation. , Instead of thinking about the next thing you want to say, or something else entirely, focus on listening to her.
Think about what she is saying.
Always seem interested and fully engaged in her presence.Remember, a conversation with your girlfriend isn't just acknowledging, it's also about remembering.
If your girlfriend is telling you about an important experience, make a mental note of it.
If she's told you something twice before and you have no idea what she's talking about because you weren't really listening, she'll know and she won't be happy about it. "Listen" to her non-verbal "conversations" as well.
Learn to tell when something is bothering her even when she won't say it.
What does her expression, her body language, or even the way she keeps twirling her hair tell you? , Compromise is a big part of successful communication.
If you and your girlfriend can't disagree without getting into a big fight or without one person immediately giving in to the needs of the other, then you have a problem.
To be good at compromising, you should be able to talk about your needs and wants while understanding where your girlfriend is coming from, instead of ignoring her side of the story.After you and your girl discuss your thoughts on a certain situation, you can work together to make a pros and cons list, and decide what will be best for both of you.
Sometimes, you and your girlfriend will have to give in to one another.
That's okay, as long as you're taking turns.
If she picks the movie for date night, for example, you should pick the dinner location.
Part of learning to compromise is using a calm, even voice when you have a disagreement.
Never yell, swear, or (under any circumstances, ever) hit her, no matter how angry you become.
Walk away for a while if you have to, and come back when you can talk rationally., You can show support by being available, listening attentively, and showing interest in the things she tells you.
When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to her needs.
By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship.
And if you support her goals and dreams, then she'll support yours in turn.Be there when she has to study for a big exam or finish college applications, or when she's stressed about anything else that can affect her future.
If she's having a busy week or month, you should be there to help her out by doing small favors, like picking up lunch or giving her a ride to class, to make her days easier. , If it means something to her, it should mean something to you.
It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for her––a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive.
When she's upset, try to put yourself in her shoes and understand where she's coming from.
Don't just dismiss her feelings because you think it's "not that big of a deal."Always confirm that you are listening and sound sincere when you comfort her.
If you don't feel like you are genuinely sorry, try to change the way you think.
Think about things from her perspective.
Sometimes, she may just want to cry and to be comforted.
Don't try to fix her problems right away.
Instead, wait for her to deal with all of her emotions before being practical.
If she's upset, it's important to ask, "Do you want to talk about it?" Make her see that you really care.
And if she's not ready to talk about it yet, don't pry.
About the Author
Jean Chapman
Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: