How to End a Marriage
Make sure it's the right decision., Think about your options., Consider keeping your plan private for now., Tell your spouse when it's time.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make sure it's the right decision.
If you're reading this article, you've probably decided it's over.
But take some time to make sure you're certain this is the right choice.
You may be angry, upset over a big argument or depressed, but is the marriage salvageable? Have you talked it through with your spouse, and tried your best to make it work? Is there anything you can do to save the marriage? In the end, when you know, you know.
Think about whether the following is true:
Are you and your spouse already essentially living separate lives, spending little time together? Are you uninvolved in each other's daily wants and needs? Have you stopped making decisions together?Have you or your spouse turned to people outside the marriage to meet your emotional needs? If this has gone on long enough, it might be time to end it.If the relationship is abusive, and you feel your health or life is in danger, there's no question that it should end.
You need to get to safety as soon as possible.
Have you gotten outside help? Consider talking to a marriage counselor before making this decision.
Having a third party's input can be really helpful.
If nothing else, talking with a marriage counselor might help you decide for sure whether this is the right thing to do. -
Step 2: Think about your options.
The end of a marriage usually implies divorce, but before you jump straight to making plans to divorce you might want to consider other options, like just living apart for awhile or getting a legal separation.That will give you time to live separate lives and see how it feels for your family.
Being away from your spouse might make you see things a little differently.
This trial period can also help you ease into changes that would otherwise seem very abrupt.
You might consider staying with a friend or relative for awhile so that you can sort out your plans without worrying about the legal side of things just yet.
In some cases there's no time for thinking things through.
If you're in an abusive marriage, take steps to end it so you can get out right away. , Ending a marriage changes everything between you and your spouse.
In some cases, things can get very contentious.
In order to protect yourself and make sure it goes the way you want it to, you might want to keep your decision to yourself while you make plans to separate your finances and set up a new living situation.
You can tell a few trusted people who can help you make preparations, but don't tell someone who might share it with your spouse.
This give you a chance to leave with your finances in order.
If everything you own is also in your spouse's name, you'll need time to sort things out so you'll be able to start life as a single person and support yourself.
Your spouse could make this very difficult.
If you think the divorce could be contentious, start planning a few months before you break the news.
This is especially important if you're leaving an abusive situation.
Don't tell your spouse
- make plans, then leave.
Your spouse will find out before long. , You know best how to break the news.
If you've been fighting for months, maybe it's already clear that things have come to an end, but for the sake of closure and clarity it's a good idea to have a straightforward conversation.
You could arrange a quiet time at home to have the discussion, or do it in public, where the discussion might be less likely to devolve into another fight.
Figure out a place and time and mark your calendar, so you know it will happen that day.
If you're searching for the right words to say, you could start with "We both know this is not working out.
I'm ready to end the marriage." Your spouse will either agree or be upset.
In the best case scenario, you'll be able to remain friends, but a marriage's end can be very unpredictable. -
Step 3: Consider keeping your plan private for now.
-
Step 4: Tell your spouse when it's time.
Detailed Guide
If you're reading this article, you've probably decided it's over.
But take some time to make sure you're certain this is the right choice.
You may be angry, upset over a big argument or depressed, but is the marriage salvageable? Have you talked it through with your spouse, and tried your best to make it work? Is there anything you can do to save the marriage? In the end, when you know, you know.
Think about whether the following is true:
Are you and your spouse already essentially living separate lives, spending little time together? Are you uninvolved in each other's daily wants and needs? Have you stopped making decisions together?Have you or your spouse turned to people outside the marriage to meet your emotional needs? If this has gone on long enough, it might be time to end it.If the relationship is abusive, and you feel your health or life is in danger, there's no question that it should end.
You need to get to safety as soon as possible.
Have you gotten outside help? Consider talking to a marriage counselor before making this decision.
Having a third party's input can be really helpful.
If nothing else, talking with a marriage counselor might help you decide for sure whether this is the right thing to do.
The end of a marriage usually implies divorce, but before you jump straight to making plans to divorce you might want to consider other options, like just living apart for awhile or getting a legal separation.That will give you time to live separate lives and see how it feels for your family.
Being away from your spouse might make you see things a little differently.
This trial period can also help you ease into changes that would otherwise seem very abrupt.
You might consider staying with a friend or relative for awhile so that you can sort out your plans without worrying about the legal side of things just yet.
In some cases there's no time for thinking things through.
If you're in an abusive marriage, take steps to end it so you can get out right away. , Ending a marriage changes everything between you and your spouse.
In some cases, things can get very contentious.
In order to protect yourself and make sure it goes the way you want it to, you might want to keep your decision to yourself while you make plans to separate your finances and set up a new living situation.
You can tell a few trusted people who can help you make preparations, but don't tell someone who might share it with your spouse.
This give you a chance to leave with your finances in order.
If everything you own is also in your spouse's name, you'll need time to sort things out so you'll be able to start life as a single person and support yourself.
Your spouse could make this very difficult.
If you think the divorce could be contentious, start planning a few months before you break the news.
This is especially important if you're leaving an abusive situation.
Don't tell your spouse
- make plans, then leave.
Your spouse will find out before long. , You know best how to break the news.
If you've been fighting for months, maybe it's already clear that things have come to an end, but for the sake of closure and clarity it's a good idea to have a straightforward conversation.
You could arrange a quiet time at home to have the discussion, or do it in public, where the discussion might be less likely to devolve into another fight.
Figure out a place and time and mark your calendar, so you know it will happen that day.
If you're searching for the right words to say, you could start with "We both know this is not working out.
I'm ready to end the marriage." Your spouse will either agree or be upset.
In the best case scenario, you'll be able to remain friends, but a marriage's end can be very unpredictable.
About the Author
Kenneth Brooks
A passionate writer with expertise in creative arts topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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