How to Find Someone to Date at the Bookstore
Choose a bookstore., Choose your most likely scouting options., Be astute about the person you have your eye on., Find ways to break the ice and start a chat., If things appear to be going well at this stage, casually suggest a coffee (or another...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Choose a bookstore.
You might like to start with a bookstore of a decent size so that you don't have the bookseller and everyone else listening to your dating overtures when you clap eyes on someone.
Then again, some of the smaller more specialist bookstores might have the very person for you if they stock those comics, sci-fi or poetry books that you're really into – it's a good sign the person of your dreams will also like those very things too.
Perhaps try a mixture of different bookstores rather than tying yourself down to one; it's really about being more alert for date possibilities when you're in the bookstore, so the size of the store might not make much difference as long as the place actually has patrons! A bookstore with a cafe can have an edge over one without because you can always suggest the two of you have a coffee.
However, a bookstore with a cafe close by will also work.
Find a bookstore that is open longer hours or during the weekends.
You'll probably be better off looking for potential dates when people are in down mode than rushing about at lunchtime or at peak home time.
Then again, more people means more possibilities! -
Step 2: Choose your most likely scouting options.
There are several ways to approach this and you might like to try them all in turn to see what works for you.
Most of all, you'll need both patience and tenacity because picking up someone in a bookstore isn't necessarily going to be easy! Hang around the area of books that you enjoy reading.
If you spot someone you fancy enjoying books you fancy, there might be a match made in heaven.
Lurk near the magazine section.
People are easily attracted to the magazine section, especially if there is seating nearby.
This area can be rife with excuses for opening a conversation such as "Could you please pass me that magazine you're in front of?" to "I can't find the last copy of "X"
- oh look! You've got it! Would you mind awfully if I looked at page 20?" Check out the cafe.
Cafes in bookstores are a boon because people usually settle in for at least one drink and a leisurely read of a book or even a pile of books that they've collected in the store.
You have a lot of opportunities to sidle up and ask if the seat is free, then start discussing the merits of the book or books on the table.
Sit in seating areas of the store.
People are at their most relaxed when seated and reading and this can be an excellent opportunity to ask them about their reading matter and casually engage them in conversation.
Staff counters or staff putting away books on shelves.
Don't discount the possibility of your new love being one of the staff! Just be sure that when you're trying to charm them that you don't take up too much of their time – you don't want to get them in trouble and you can always suggest the two of you meet up when it's knock-off work time. , You can't be sure of their relationship status just by looking unless there is an evident wedding ring.
If you see a ring, clearly you'll need to back off.
If you see a girlfriend or boyfriend hovering nearby, you've been warned! Otherwise, there is no harm probing for relationship status as you continue your chat with this person.
Read How to ask a person if they're single for more details.
Some people are so bold as to still ask even if they discover someone is dating already – read How to ask a girl out if she is already dating for more ideas. , You're in a bookstore, so the list of potential chat topics is as wide as the book subject matter in the store.
However, initially you need to get that person's attention.
Here are some suggestions:
Casually stand near the person and look over at them every now and then.
Gauge whether or not they've noticed you and if they seem to be looking back.
Find ways of interrupting them, such as pretending that you're looking for a book and asking them if they've seen it on the shelf.
Or, drop a book near their feet and apologize profusely as they bend to pick it up for you.
Or, spot a book in front of them and ask if they mind passing it to you.
Comment on what they're looking at, especially if you're aware of what it's about.
With any luck, you may have read it yourself or know enough about it or the author/genre to start a good conversation about it.
Seek to appear friendly and knowledgeable about the book, genre, author or even the store, without coming across as annoying.
Offer some good advice about their read and perhaps additional advice about books you'd recommend. , Make it seem that you're extra keen to pursue the conversation on the topics you've raised and that your targeted person seems genuinely interested in.
If you're lucky, the other person will agree to further discussion over coffee and you can start getting to know one another more.
Don't forget to ask for their contact details at the end of your coffee.
Suggest that it'd be great to meet up again to compare notes on what the other person thought about the book, etc.
Even if you don't manage to have a coffee together, you can still suggest that the two of you get in touch again later, perhaps through email, Facebook, etc., to discuss the reading and to keep in touch. , As with any potential date, you need to be conscious of the other person's level of responsiveness.
If it's clear that you're crowding them out and bothering them, leave things where they stand and don't pressure the other person any further.
On the other hand, if you're certain that there's a spark of interest and a willingness to continue the tango of getting to know one another, go with the flow! Even if they don't want to catch up with you again, thank them for the discussion and wish them well.
Not everyone is thrilled at the thought of being checked out when they're pursuing quiet intellectual time in their own head space and you need to take into account that they may just want to be left alone. , If at first you don't succeed, try with different people who appear interesting to you and try in different bookstores.
While a bookstore isn't a place high on the list of "where to find dates"
the fact that the people in them clearly like reading and have similar interests to your own does make this a worthwhile way to try to find a date.
If you're persistent enough, even if you don't find a love interest, it's always possible that you just might make a new friend. , -
Step 3: Be astute about the person you have your eye on.
-
Step 4: Find ways to break the ice and start a chat.
-
Step 5: If things appear to be going well at this stage
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Step 6: casually suggest a coffee (or another coffee if you're already at the cafe).
-
Step 7: Be alert to the cues.
-
Step 8: Give it a few more tries.
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Step 9: Finished.
Detailed Guide
You might like to start with a bookstore of a decent size so that you don't have the bookseller and everyone else listening to your dating overtures when you clap eyes on someone.
Then again, some of the smaller more specialist bookstores might have the very person for you if they stock those comics, sci-fi or poetry books that you're really into – it's a good sign the person of your dreams will also like those very things too.
Perhaps try a mixture of different bookstores rather than tying yourself down to one; it's really about being more alert for date possibilities when you're in the bookstore, so the size of the store might not make much difference as long as the place actually has patrons! A bookstore with a cafe can have an edge over one without because you can always suggest the two of you have a coffee.
However, a bookstore with a cafe close by will also work.
Find a bookstore that is open longer hours or during the weekends.
You'll probably be better off looking for potential dates when people are in down mode than rushing about at lunchtime or at peak home time.
Then again, more people means more possibilities!
There are several ways to approach this and you might like to try them all in turn to see what works for you.
Most of all, you'll need both patience and tenacity because picking up someone in a bookstore isn't necessarily going to be easy! Hang around the area of books that you enjoy reading.
If you spot someone you fancy enjoying books you fancy, there might be a match made in heaven.
Lurk near the magazine section.
People are easily attracted to the magazine section, especially if there is seating nearby.
This area can be rife with excuses for opening a conversation such as "Could you please pass me that magazine you're in front of?" to "I can't find the last copy of "X"
- oh look! You've got it! Would you mind awfully if I looked at page 20?" Check out the cafe.
Cafes in bookstores are a boon because people usually settle in for at least one drink and a leisurely read of a book or even a pile of books that they've collected in the store.
You have a lot of opportunities to sidle up and ask if the seat is free, then start discussing the merits of the book or books on the table.
Sit in seating areas of the store.
People are at their most relaxed when seated and reading and this can be an excellent opportunity to ask them about their reading matter and casually engage them in conversation.
Staff counters or staff putting away books on shelves.
Don't discount the possibility of your new love being one of the staff! Just be sure that when you're trying to charm them that you don't take up too much of their time – you don't want to get them in trouble and you can always suggest the two of you meet up when it's knock-off work time. , You can't be sure of their relationship status just by looking unless there is an evident wedding ring.
If you see a ring, clearly you'll need to back off.
If you see a girlfriend or boyfriend hovering nearby, you've been warned! Otherwise, there is no harm probing for relationship status as you continue your chat with this person.
Read How to ask a person if they're single for more details.
Some people are so bold as to still ask even if they discover someone is dating already – read How to ask a girl out if she is already dating for more ideas. , You're in a bookstore, so the list of potential chat topics is as wide as the book subject matter in the store.
However, initially you need to get that person's attention.
Here are some suggestions:
Casually stand near the person and look over at them every now and then.
Gauge whether or not they've noticed you and if they seem to be looking back.
Find ways of interrupting them, such as pretending that you're looking for a book and asking them if they've seen it on the shelf.
Or, drop a book near their feet and apologize profusely as they bend to pick it up for you.
Or, spot a book in front of them and ask if they mind passing it to you.
Comment on what they're looking at, especially if you're aware of what it's about.
With any luck, you may have read it yourself or know enough about it or the author/genre to start a good conversation about it.
Seek to appear friendly and knowledgeable about the book, genre, author or even the store, without coming across as annoying.
Offer some good advice about their read and perhaps additional advice about books you'd recommend. , Make it seem that you're extra keen to pursue the conversation on the topics you've raised and that your targeted person seems genuinely interested in.
If you're lucky, the other person will agree to further discussion over coffee and you can start getting to know one another more.
Don't forget to ask for their contact details at the end of your coffee.
Suggest that it'd be great to meet up again to compare notes on what the other person thought about the book, etc.
Even if you don't manage to have a coffee together, you can still suggest that the two of you get in touch again later, perhaps through email, Facebook, etc., to discuss the reading and to keep in touch. , As with any potential date, you need to be conscious of the other person's level of responsiveness.
If it's clear that you're crowding them out and bothering them, leave things where they stand and don't pressure the other person any further.
On the other hand, if you're certain that there's a spark of interest and a willingness to continue the tango of getting to know one another, go with the flow! Even if they don't want to catch up with you again, thank them for the discussion and wish them well.
Not everyone is thrilled at the thought of being checked out when they're pursuing quiet intellectual time in their own head space and you need to take into account that they may just want to be left alone. , If at first you don't succeed, try with different people who appear interesting to you and try in different bookstores.
While a bookstore isn't a place high on the list of "where to find dates"
the fact that the people in them clearly like reading and have similar interests to your own does make this a worthwhile way to try to find a date.
If you're persistent enough, even if you don't find a love interest, it's always possible that you just might make a new friend. ,
About the Author
Theresa Hughes
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
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