How to Have Sex Without Falling in Love
Know that having sex does not mean that you need to fall in love., Avoid sleeping with people you share romantic history with., Ask yourself what you are looking for in the hook-up., Casual hook-ups aren't for everyone, but that is okay., Set your...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Know that having sex does not mean that you need to fall in love.
Having sex and falling in love are very different things.
Most people are taught by movies, TV, and even friends/family that having sex will always lead to love.
Love, however, is a complex and nuanced emotion that develops over time, building as you get to know someone emotionally and socially, not just physically.
After orgasm women release a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the "cuddle chemical" that mimics feelings of connection and love.
This is why, regardless of their logical thoughts about a person, love is often confused with sex. -
Step 2: Avoid sleeping with people you share romantic history with.
It is hard to return to friendship after a romantic or sexual relationship.
Adding sex back into the mix, however, will always resurface feelings of love and attraction.
One of the things that separate friends from couples is a lack of sexual connection.
Rekindling your sex life together will rekindle the feelings involved as well, whether you want them or not.
This includes sleeping with close friends, as your existing connection, when mixed with sex, leaves very little separating you from becoming a couple., Why do you want to have sex with someone? Are you trying to have a little fun, experiment with new people, or feel lonely? You need to know your goals going in, because they will profoundly affect how attached you get to someone.
Be honest with yourself to prevent confusion in the aftermath of the hook-up., If you tend to fall for every person you sleep with or are looking for a partner, then you should think twice about having casual sex.
If you just want to have fun, have no interest or desire for a relationship, and feel like experimenting a bit, you should feel free to proceed.Hooking-up without developing strings is easier if you just want to have some fun and learn more about your sexual needs.
Hooking-up because you are lonely, recently heartbroken, or hurting is often a recipe for unwanted attraction, as you try and compensate for your feelings with your new sexual partner. , Are their things that automatically signal intimacy? Some people refrain from kissing their hook-up partner, as it feels too close to a real relationship.
Other people prefer not to cuddle after the fact, or won't hook up with strangers.
Have your boundaries set before you head out for the night and stick to them, as this will protect you and your heart from getting too invested.
Long conversations spent getting to know one another, especially on an intimate level (goals, worries/fears, personal history), often lead to love and feelings of attraction.Always wear protection when hooking up with someone., Spend time apart to protect your feelings from turning into something more serious.
If you've established with your partner that you are seeing other people casually as well, mix things up so that you don't fall too far for one person. , Don't stay over and cuddle, go on dates, or spend time talking late into the night.
If you want to maintain a no-strings-attached, purely physical relationship, you need to stay purely physical.
Focus on enjoying your time together, making sure both of you are satisfied when you leave but little else.
A direct line on pleasure, instead of intimacy, is crucial to keep the relationship from developing into broader feelings.
Gifts, dates, and sleepovers all lead to more intimate feelings.
Focus on what feels good and, once you are happy, leave., Do you feel yourself developing feelings for someone? More importantly
-- are you enjoying the "No Strings Attached" lifestyle? Some people find hooking up with random sexual partners hollow, unfulfilling, and awkward despite the immediate pleasure.
You are constantly evolving, growing, and changing, and your sexual preferences are no exception.How do you feel after a hook-up? Do you want to stay around but feel compelled to leave? Do you feel like trying something more permanent? Are you leaving something special because you told yourself you didn't want a relationship, or because you actually don't love this person? , If the type of sex your partner is giving you isn't what you want, leave.
Sex without love is for the physical benefit for both of you, and if one person is not interested or doesn't care for what the other party is giving then they are free to leave.
Remember, this is not a romantic relationship.
There is no need to fear emotional baggage and how the other party might feel if you break things off casually. "I think I'm ready to look for something more permanent, but this has been fun." "I'd rather not keep doing this casually." "I'd love to keep in touch, but I'm ready to see other people now." -
Step 3: Ask yourself what you are looking for in the hook-up.
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Step 4: Casual hook-ups aren't for everyone
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Step 5: but that is okay.
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Step 6: Set your boundaries.
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Step 7: Don't hook up every chance you get with the same person.
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Step 8: Make pleasure the priority in the relationship.
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Step 9: Re-examine your relationship goals every few weeks.
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Step 10: Leave when you're uncomfortable.
Detailed Guide
Having sex and falling in love are very different things.
Most people are taught by movies, TV, and even friends/family that having sex will always lead to love.
Love, however, is a complex and nuanced emotion that develops over time, building as you get to know someone emotionally and socially, not just physically.
After orgasm women release a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the "cuddle chemical" that mimics feelings of connection and love.
This is why, regardless of their logical thoughts about a person, love is often confused with sex.
It is hard to return to friendship after a romantic or sexual relationship.
Adding sex back into the mix, however, will always resurface feelings of love and attraction.
One of the things that separate friends from couples is a lack of sexual connection.
Rekindling your sex life together will rekindle the feelings involved as well, whether you want them or not.
This includes sleeping with close friends, as your existing connection, when mixed with sex, leaves very little separating you from becoming a couple., Why do you want to have sex with someone? Are you trying to have a little fun, experiment with new people, or feel lonely? You need to know your goals going in, because they will profoundly affect how attached you get to someone.
Be honest with yourself to prevent confusion in the aftermath of the hook-up., If you tend to fall for every person you sleep with or are looking for a partner, then you should think twice about having casual sex.
If you just want to have fun, have no interest or desire for a relationship, and feel like experimenting a bit, you should feel free to proceed.Hooking-up without developing strings is easier if you just want to have some fun and learn more about your sexual needs.
Hooking-up because you are lonely, recently heartbroken, or hurting is often a recipe for unwanted attraction, as you try and compensate for your feelings with your new sexual partner. , Are their things that automatically signal intimacy? Some people refrain from kissing their hook-up partner, as it feels too close to a real relationship.
Other people prefer not to cuddle after the fact, or won't hook up with strangers.
Have your boundaries set before you head out for the night and stick to them, as this will protect you and your heart from getting too invested.
Long conversations spent getting to know one another, especially on an intimate level (goals, worries/fears, personal history), often lead to love and feelings of attraction.Always wear protection when hooking up with someone., Spend time apart to protect your feelings from turning into something more serious.
If you've established with your partner that you are seeing other people casually as well, mix things up so that you don't fall too far for one person. , Don't stay over and cuddle, go on dates, or spend time talking late into the night.
If you want to maintain a no-strings-attached, purely physical relationship, you need to stay purely physical.
Focus on enjoying your time together, making sure both of you are satisfied when you leave but little else.
A direct line on pleasure, instead of intimacy, is crucial to keep the relationship from developing into broader feelings.
Gifts, dates, and sleepovers all lead to more intimate feelings.
Focus on what feels good and, once you are happy, leave., Do you feel yourself developing feelings for someone? More importantly
-- are you enjoying the "No Strings Attached" lifestyle? Some people find hooking up with random sexual partners hollow, unfulfilling, and awkward despite the immediate pleasure.
You are constantly evolving, growing, and changing, and your sexual preferences are no exception.How do you feel after a hook-up? Do you want to stay around but feel compelled to leave? Do you feel like trying something more permanent? Are you leaving something special because you told yourself you didn't want a relationship, or because you actually don't love this person? , If the type of sex your partner is giving you isn't what you want, leave.
Sex without love is for the physical benefit for both of you, and if one person is not interested or doesn't care for what the other party is giving then they are free to leave.
Remember, this is not a romantic relationship.
There is no need to fear emotional baggage and how the other party might feel if you break things off casually. "I think I'm ready to look for something more permanent, but this has been fun." "I'd rather not keep doing this casually." "I'd love to keep in touch, but I'm ready to see other people now."
About the Author
Jason Collins
Experienced content creator specializing in lifestyle guides and tutorials.
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