How to Keep a Relationship Fresh
Appreciate your past but don’t idealize it too much., Relive your early relationship as you are now., Flirt, kiss, and be a bit naughty., Show gratitude for your partner’s very presence.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Appreciate your past but don’t idealize it too much.
Studies indicate the couples in stagnant relationships tend to have less accurate recollections of their history together.
They often overemphasize or exaggerate the good times to avoid the difficulties and disappointments that have always existed and are more serious now.
For instance, replicating the dinner-and-a-movie pattern of your early relationship and expecting to fall head-over-heels all over again is unrealistic and ignores the ups-and-downs that certainly accompanied the getting-to-know-you period.
Using those memories to think about the qualities that brought you together in the first place, however, is a good use of your past experiences.
Relationships always start full of energy and excitement, and working to recapture some of that early magic is a good way to freshen things up further down the line.
Trying to recapture an unrealistic idealization of your past, however, will only lead to further disappointment.
The goal should be to recreate some of your early, happy memories together while remaining aware that each of you and your partnership are very different now.
The past needs to be a spark for progress moving forward. -
Step 2: Relive your early relationship as you are now.
It can be a nice touch to replicate your first date, from the flowers to the so-so dinner at the best restaurant you could afford to the awkward kiss goodnight.
Use it as a reason to look at your partner as he or she is now with fresh eyes.Planning regular “date nights,” and pulling out all the stops when you do, can be a fun way to spend some one-on-one time together reconnecting.
This may be especially helpful if you have kids.Take turns planning the dates, so each of you can enjoy trying to one-up each other by crafting the ideal night. , Not all routines have to be dull.
Make a point of kissing your partner daily — not a peck, but a real, early relationship kind of passionate smooch.Try out your flirting technique, which has probably been on hiatus for a while.
Even if the result ends up with the two of you laughing together instead of heading to the bedroom, it’s a fun and easy way to liven up the day for a bit.
Love can become assumed over time.
Make sure you don’t just say it, but show it, even by simply holding hands or making deep eye contact.
Make a point of saying and showing your love during your sexual encounters as well, be it by cuddling, “dirty talk,” or whatever works for the two of you., Early in a relationship, you tend to cherish each moment together.
Once you get stuck in a rut later on, though, it can be easy to lose sight of all the reasons you have to be thankful for each other.Say a meaningful thank-you for even small tasks that you appreciate, like taking out the trash or balancing the checkbook.
Or leave a nice note on the fridge or in your partner’s work bag.If you need help spurring your gratitude, try to think about what your life would be like if your partner either never entered your life or vanished from it.If you feel like things would be better this way, you have bigger problems in your relationship than some stagnation. -
Step 3: and be a bit naughty.
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Step 4: Show gratitude for your partner’s very presence.
Detailed Guide
Studies indicate the couples in stagnant relationships tend to have less accurate recollections of their history together.
They often overemphasize or exaggerate the good times to avoid the difficulties and disappointments that have always existed and are more serious now.
For instance, replicating the dinner-and-a-movie pattern of your early relationship and expecting to fall head-over-heels all over again is unrealistic and ignores the ups-and-downs that certainly accompanied the getting-to-know-you period.
Using those memories to think about the qualities that brought you together in the first place, however, is a good use of your past experiences.
Relationships always start full of energy and excitement, and working to recapture some of that early magic is a good way to freshen things up further down the line.
Trying to recapture an unrealistic idealization of your past, however, will only lead to further disappointment.
The goal should be to recreate some of your early, happy memories together while remaining aware that each of you and your partnership are very different now.
The past needs to be a spark for progress moving forward.
It can be a nice touch to replicate your first date, from the flowers to the so-so dinner at the best restaurant you could afford to the awkward kiss goodnight.
Use it as a reason to look at your partner as he or she is now with fresh eyes.Planning regular “date nights,” and pulling out all the stops when you do, can be a fun way to spend some one-on-one time together reconnecting.
This may be especially helpful if you have kids.Take turns planning the dates, so each of you can enjoy trying to one-up each other by crafting the ideal night. , Not all routines have to be dull.
Make a point of kissing your partner daily — not a peck, but a real, early relationship kind of passionate smooch.Try out your flirting technique, which has probably been on hiatus for a while.
Even if the result ends up with the two of you laughing together instead of heading to the bedroom, it’s a fun and easy way to liven up the day for a bit.
Love can become assumed over time.
Make sure you don’t just say it, but show it, even by simply holding hands or making deep eye contact.
Make a point of saying and showing your love during your sexual encounters as well, be it by cuddling, “dirty talk,” or whatever works for the two of you., Early in a relationship, you tend to cherish each moment together.
Once you get stuck in a rut later on, though, it can be easy to lose sight of all the reasons you have to be thankful for each other.Say a meaningful thank-you for even small tasks that you appreciate, like taking out the trash or balancing the checkbook.
Or leave a nice note on the fridge or in your partner’s work bag.If you need help spurring your gratitude, try to think about what your life would be like if your partner either never entered your life or vanished from it.If you feel like things would be better this way, you have bigger problems in your relationship than some stagnation.
About the Author
Eric Rivera
Creates helpful guides on pet care to inspire and educate readers.
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