How to Tell Your Wife You Don't Want Any More Children

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Pick a non-stressful time to talk.

   When bringing up this heavy topic, pick a time when you both have the least going on.
   
   If you know your spouse has a tough week at work ahead, delay the conversation until afterwards.
   
   Choose a time during the weekend after the kids have gone to bed.Avoid picking important dates like birthdays or anniversaries, as well.
   
   Be mindful of the location, too.
   
   Tell her at home and in private.
2. 2

   Step 2: Ease into the conversation.

   Don’t just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it.
   
   Start off by talking about your family, how you’re feeling about work and home in general, and your love for your wife.
   
   Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they’ve made lately or even the trouble they’ve gotten into.
   
   Talk about your own feelings of being a parent.
   
   This will provide a natural segway into talking about not having more kids.You might say something like “Josiah is a really good kid and I love him more than life.
   
   I didn’t realize parenting was gonna be this hard though, did you?” , Once you have opened up the conversation, break the news to your wife.
   
   Be open, honest, and direct with her about your decision.
   
   Let her know if this is final for you or if you are open to having future discussions about it.
   
   Know that if your wife truly wants more children, having more than one discussion will probably be necessary.
   
   Say “I was looking at you, Isaiah, and Chloe today and I just felt like our family is complete.
   
   I don’t think that I want to have any more children and I wanted to see how you feel about that.
   
   But, this is a really big topic so I don’t want you to feel like we have to only discuss it today.” , Explain to your wife your reasons for not wanting more children.
   
   It could be because of finances, marital discord, or general contentment with how things are.
   
   Say, “With how things are financially, I just don’t think we can afford another kid.
   
   I didn’t realize children were going to be so expensive, and I would never not want Amy in our lives, but I just don’t want any more children.” , Once you tell her how you feel, allow her time to tell you her own thoughts.
   
   She might react negatively to this news; if so, remain calm, without yelling or walking away from her.
   
   Find out why she wants or doesn’t want to have more children., To truly hear and understand, don’t interrupt your wife when she is talking.
   
   Avoid looking at the television or your phone, as well.
   
   Try summarizing and repeating back to her what she says so that she knows you are listening.For instance, you might say, “It sounds like you’re confused because when we got married, I told you I wanted three kids.
   
   And now you feel like I’ve gone back on my promise.” , If your wife is set on having another child, she will likely feel confused, hurt or angry.
   
   Should she have questions for you, answer them to the best of your ability.
   
   She deserves your honesty., At the end of the talk, be sure to tell her that you love her and are still committed to the family.
   
   Your revelation may have her feeling confused or insecure, so work to reverse that.
   
   You might say “Even though I don’t want to have more kids, I'm blessed to have these beautiful children with you.
   
   And I’m glad you’re my wife.
   
   I love you.”
3. 3

   Step 3: Tell her you don’t want to have more kids.

4. 4

   Step 4: Explain why you don’t want more children.

5. 5

   Step 5: Talk about your wife’s desires.

6. 6

   Step 6: Focus on understanding your wife.

7. 7

   Step 7: Answer her questions.

8. 8

   Step 8: Reaffirm your love and commitment.

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