How to Deal With Your Friend Who Is Being Jealous of Your Other Friends

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Invite your friend to join the group.

   This might feel hard if your friend has made occasions with your other friends uncomfortable in the past.
   
   However, stay positive.
   
   If your friend knows they’re wanted in a situation, they may be less likely to act out of jealousy.Don’t remind your friend of times they may have made social situations uncomfortable in the past.
   
   This may make them feel more insecure about re-entering a situation like that.
   
   Emphasize that it’s their choice.
   
   They don’t need to feel obligated to hang out if the idea makes them uncomfortable.
   
   If your friend has been cruel or manipulative to your other friends in the past, inviting them to join the group may do more harm than good.
2. 2

   Step 2: Help boost your friend’s confidence.

   Jealousy is usually a sign that someone feels insecure.
   
   Helping your friend build self-esteem may help some of their jealous feelings subside.Tell your friend things you appreciate about them.
   
   It’s great if you can emphasize reasons you value spending time with them.
   
   You can say something like, “You’re so funny.
   
   That’s part of why it’s so fun to spend time with you.” Or, you can offer something like, “You always have such good ideas of where to go to eat.” , A friend who is jealous of your other friends may think that your other friends are more valuable to you.
   
   Let your friend know that you’re not planning to replace them with other friends.Even if your friend hasn’t said it, they may be afraid you’re going to forget them or abandon the friendship.
   
   Make it clear that this isn’t true.
   
   You can say something like, “I really like hanging out with my other friends, but it’s always more fun when you’re around.” You can also say, “I really hope you’ll want to hang out with all of us.
   
   I miss you when you’re not around.” , If you truly want to include your friend, make sure you invite them to do something that they would enjoy.
   
   Otherwise, you could end up fueling their feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
   
   Choose a place that’s easy for your friend to get to, and where they feel comfortable.
   
   For example, don’t choose somewhere that is close to you and your other friends but a long bus ride from where your friend lives.
   
   Pick something that you already know they enjoy.
   
   For example, don’t invite them over to play a game that your other friends know but your one friend doesn’t.
   
   If you’re going to go out to eat, you can ask your one friend to pick the restaurant.
   
   You want your friend to feel comfortable, but you don't want them to have all of the control.
   
   Make sure you're not being manipulated into simply doing whatever this one friend wants to do. , If you haven’t spent much time with your one friend and the rest of your friends together, you might feel a little uncomfortable at first.
   
   Stay true to yourself.
   
   Don’t worry about how your friends may expect you to behave.If you have inside jokes with a certain friend, you can acknowledge them without excluding the others.
   
   You can simply say, “I’m sorry.
   
   That was just a reference to something funny that happened to us last week.” Or, if it makes sense, you could take the time to explain the joke.
   
   If a friend accuses you of not acting genuinely, you can explain yourself.
   
   For example, if a friend says, “I thought you didn’t like those kinds of movies,” you can explain that, “I actually have started watching movies like that recently and I do like them.
   
   I guess I just haven’t talked to you about it.” , The great thing about friendship is that you can have multiple friends.
   
   Let your friend know that it’s important to you to have friendships that don’t threaten each other.
   
   Always make sure your friend knows what you value about them.
   
   If they are a reliable, helpful friend, tell them and thank them for that.
   
   You can also gently let them know what you like about your other friends.
   
   You can say, “I really enjoy the intellectual conversations I have with that person.
   
   I don’t need to do that all the time, but I like getting to engage that way occasionally.”
3. 3

   Step 3: Let them know there’s no need to feel threatened.

4. 4

   Step 4: Choose an activity that will be comfortable for them.

5. 5

   Step 5: Be yourself when combining friend groups.

6. 6

   Step 6: Remind your friend that you value them and your other friends.

Detailed Guide

About the Author