How to Tell if You Talk Too Much

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Assess your usual conversations.

   Say that you just met your friend for lunch and you're worried that you may have dominated the conversation ... again.
   
   Replay the lunch date in your head, resisting the urge to defend yourself.
   
   This will help you to see clearly whether or not you talk a lot in comparison to other people.
   
   Ask yourself some pointed questions, like: "Who did most of the talking?" "Did we talk more about me or about my friend?" "How often did I interrupt my friend?"
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   Step 2: Don't limit these "replay sessions" to your social circle.

   Think about the way you talk to everyone, including — but not limited to — your boss, co-workers, mother, and the restaurant staff. , Do you open the conversation by jumping in with a funny story of your life and your observations without being asked? Or are you likely to ask someone a question and let them tell you a story, tell you about their life and their observations? Conversation is a balance between both participants, and although you should take Sheryl Sandberg's advice and lean in, you hog the limelight when you focus too much on yourself. , Do people sometimes roll their eyes when you start to talk, or maybe tap their foot impatiently? Do people begin to phase out, looking glazed or distracted when you begin to elaborate on something? Do people simply nod their head and throw out irrelevant "Yeahs" and "Uh-huhs" without wanting you to elaborate any further? Or worse, do people sometimes ignore you completely when you get on a verbal roll, turn the other way and start a conversation with the next person? An ultimate sign is a very simple one — the other person may say something as simple as "you talk too much" and move away.
   
   All of these provide some good indicators of whether you're boring or frustrating people by talking too much.
   
   If signs like these are consistent factors in your conversations, you're talking too much. , Do you find yourself often giving away bits of information you don't mean to? A friend's confidence, or your own (sometimes embarrassing) problems? Or maybe you let slip rude or hurtful opinions about other people.
   
   Note how often this occurs in day-to-day conversations.
   
   If it helps, keep a small notebook and mark in the times that you feel you've slipped up in this way.
   
   It'll help you to gauge how much this is happening.
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   Step 3: Assess the way you are most likely to begin a conversation.

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   Step 4: Pay attention to the body language of others.

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   Step 5: Keep count of all the times you accidentally say more than you mean to say (also known as TMI

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   Step 6: or too much information).

Detailed Guide

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