How to Persuade Someone to Do Something
Tell a good backstory., Use ethos, pathos, and logos., Put your request in the right order., Don’t ask them to make a decision., Speak in the affirmative.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell a good backstory.
People are compelled by personal stories.
When you ask for something, start at the beginning and tell a coherent narrative.
Why are you asking for this? What are the emotional and/or personal elements tied to this need? Sharing this info will significantly up your persuasion points.In general, just tell the truth! You didn't come upon this opportunity or develop this need out of thin air.
Tell the story of how you arrived here.
It is OK to add some drama to the story.
What obstacles have you overcome? What continues to stand in your way? How has your passion, diligence, or street-smarts allowed you to persevere? -
Step 2: Use ethos
According to Aristotle, there are three pillars of rhetorical persuasion.
These are ethos (a speaker’s credibility), pathos (emotional appeals), and logos (appeals to logic).
When you converse with the person you’re trying to convince, include information about your credibility, provide a logical argument, and find a way to tug at their heartstrings.Explain your credentials.
How long have you been working in a given field or researching a particular investment opportunity? This speaks to your ethos.
Lay out what you need logically.
How can this be a benefit to them as well as to you? This will be a logos-based argument.
Try to get them emotionally invested.
What would it mean to you if they were to help? This is an appeal to pathos. , Commonly, we have the tendency to try and sweet talk the person we’re requesting something from.
Unfortunately, this often has the opposite effect: making your kind words seem disingenuous.
Instead, come right out and ask for what you want, and then say a few nice things.Instead of saying: “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long.
Congratulations on everything you’ve been up to! It all looks great.
By the way, I am wondering if you would be able to help with a project.” Try it this way: “Hi! I am wondering to see if you can help me with a project.
I haven’t seen you in so long.
Congratulations on everything you’ve been up to! It all looks great.” Using the second format surprisingly makes you seem more sincere. , Generally speaking, people don’t like to make decisions.
Even simple choices can be stressful.
So don’t give the person you’re persuading a surplus of options.
Simply ask for what you need as directly as possible and make it easy for them to say yes.For example, if you would like someone to help you move into a new apartment, simply tell them the date, the time, and exactly what you need from them.
You may be tempted to offer flexible moving dates, flexible times, or other accommodations, but ironically, these excess decisions are more likely to cause stress and influence them to say no. , People respond most effectively to declarative, positive statements.
Don’t dance around what you want to say.
Give clear directions, and provide affirmative statements.Rather than saying, “Don’t hesitate to call me,” you should say, “Give me a call on Friday.” -
Step 3: pathos
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Step 4: and logos.
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Step 5: Put your request in the right order.
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Step 6: Don’t ask them to make a decision.
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Step 7: Speak in the affirmative.
Detailed Guide
People are compelled by personal stories.
When you ask for something, start at the beginning and tell a coherent narrative.
Why are you asking for this? What are the emotional and/or personal elements tied to this need? Sharing this info will significantly up your persuasion points.In general, just tell the truth! You didn't come upon this opportunity or develop this need out of thin air.
Tell the story of how you arrived here.
It is OK to add some drama to the story.
What obstacles have you overcome? What continues to stand in your way? How has your passion, diligence, or street-smarts allowed you to persevere?
According to Aristotle, there are three pillars of rhetorical persuasion.
These are ethos (a speaker’s credibility), pathos (emotional appeals), and logos (appeals to logic).
When you converse with the person you’re trying to convince, include information about your credibility, provide a logical argument, and find a way to tug at their heartstrings.Explain your credentials.
How long have you been working in a given field or researching a particular investment opportunity? This speaks to your ethos.
Lay out what you need logically.
How can this be a benefit to them as well as to you? This will be a logos-based argument.
Try to get them emotionally invested.
What would it mean to you if they were to help? This is an appeal to pathos. , Commonly, we have the tendency to try and sweet talk the person we’re requesting something from.
Unfortunately, this often has the opposite effect: making your kind words seem disingenuous.
Instead, come right out and ask for what you want, and then say a few nice things.Instead of saying: “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long.
Congratulations on everything you’ve been up to! It all looks great.
By the way, I am wondering if you would be able to help with a project.” Try it this way: “Hi! I am wondering to see if you can help me with a project.
I haven’t seen you in so long.
Congratulations on everything you’ve been up to! It all looks great.” Using the second format surprisingly makes you seem more sincere. , Generally speaking, people don’t like to make decisions.
Even simple choices can be stressful.
So don’t give the person you’re persuading a surplus of options.
Simply ask for what you need as directly as possible and make it easy for them to say yes.For example, if you would like someone to help you move into a new apartment, simply tell them the date, the time, and exactly what you need from them.
You may be tempted to offer flexible moving dates, flexible times, or other accommodations, but ironically, these excess decisions are more likely to cause stress and influence them to say no. , People respond most effectively to declarative, positive statements.
Don’t dance around what you want to say.
Give clear directions, and provide affirmative statements.Rather than saying, “Don’t hesitate to call me,” you should say, “Give me a call on Friday.”
About the Author
Diane Peterson
A passionate writer with expertise in creative arts topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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